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Hiya-

I don't know if any of you get this way (maybe it falls under some kind of OCD), but I MUST hoard meds. if i don't have 3 months worth of any med i flip out and have to go get some. i feel very endangered if i don't have enough meds for all of CB put together!

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I get 3 month supplies of as many of my psychmeds as possible. My mail order provider fills these orders. Nice thing is that you can order them a few weeks early. This means that you build up a backup supply pretty quickly. I make sure I use the oldest ones first, etc.

I think it's only sensible. What if I run out of money? What if I lose my job and can't afford COBRA? I'm not usually really worried, but my therapist has encouraged me to have supplies around. Heck, I even still keep my old depakote around as a backup in case the worst happened and I ran out of lamictal.

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My name is JBella and I'm a med hoarder. I'm with NARS. After my insurance ran out, I applied for prescription programs and now that I have insurance again, I'm still terrified and keep every med I don't use anymore.

In the past few months I decided to clean house, because my med shelf was overflowing. Knowing the state of the world, I'm glad I kept them, because alot of people had lost their insurance or had shitty insurance and couldn't afford meds. Buh-bye Wellbutrin, Lexapro, Zyprexa, Seroquel, Topamax, Lunesta, Trazadone, and Advair. I've still got more.

You never know...

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I used to get really anxious when I was low on a med...and I had to wait until I got the next supply....

but I know that for me its connected with deep insecurities and anxieties about *supplies* when I was very young, as in 'where's mummy?' feelings.

knowing that helps me cope when that anxiety provoking time comes around again.

but that's me.

as I'm in analytic therapy.

and I wouldn't feel safe with a whole load of meds.

(goes off to interpret that one...)

o yes, I have some efexor going cheep cheep cheep!!!! (ought to flush it...don't ask me why I haven't..... *mutters about Freud*)

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I hoarde meds too.

Even the ones that didn't work.

Even the ones that made me worse.

I feel better knowing they are there. I used to keep empty bottles too, but that became a pretty massive collection, so I ended up tossing it.

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I hoard Ativan and Inderal because I'm afraid someday I will switch docs and he or she won't prescribe them. I guess it's also comforting to know they're there. I never abuse the Ativan because I don't like to build up a tolerance. Too much Inderal would make one too light headed to stand up.

I would hoard more Seroquel and Zyprexa if I could get my hands on more.

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I used to keep empty bottles too, but that became a pretty massive collection, so I ended up tossing it.

OMG, that's me. I've a ridiculous bottle collection--I thought i was making a med record. As If.

Thanks for reminding me to toss it all.

I don't hoard meds because I think to myself, what if my meds change? Then I have extra junk around. I have strong purging instincts. But I guess a famine would scare me into collecting too.

I'm too new to this business (1.5 yrs) to have a stocked cabinet.

7

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Guest lmmmnop

I clean out my med stash every couple of years. I recently tossed the last of my Vioxx (not yet expired!) into the med disposal chute, along with half-a-dozen others. I still have to hang onto a few, though. I have one 600mg lithium capsule saved, as well as examples of the other color coatings the 300mg size has come in. I have a few Vicodin and a few Oxy, even though they're technically expired. The list goes on. And of course, I still have buttloads of Seroquel, perfectly fine except the med made me worse. Maybe my cousin's still on it.

I have this oversize insulated lunch bag where I keep all my old empty bottles. I peel off the labels as I go, then take the whole thing down to the pharmacy whenever it's getting close to full and poke them one by one into the recycling bin set there for that purpose.

I still don't really get why I need to save samples.

I also keep a running 2-3 week supply of my current meds whenever possible, just in case. They're stashed all together in a paper bag, should I have to evacuate the building at two AM or something. I rotate old for new every couple of months.

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I used to get really anxious when I was low on a med...and I had to wait until I got the next supply....

I am backwards. Whenever I know I am about to run out of a med, I put it off. I am a procrastinator by nature, but I suspect it is my subconscious saying "what if I am OK without it for a bit?" It never works out though. If I skip even 1 day I can feel the effects and I kick myself. I've gone as much as 5 days w/o AD's until I get the head zaps and then I run to the pharmacy and bitch if I have to wait. Nutters.

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When ever I

d get low on meds, being a social phobe, I'd get my mate to get me booze instead of getting my perscriptions filled. I horde as well, every starter kit, every bottle...it's sick and I know I should toss them, but I'm afraid. My Pdoc wants me to cut back from 2-3 Klonopin to one...no slow going...and I'm in a panic and I'm hording. I'm going to look for a new doctor or something, this is crazy. If I get back to the panic attacks and then dissoc/de-personalize stage I'll start with the SI again...I have enough scars. I don't want to go there. Sorry this turned into a rant...but yeah, I horde. I'll even not take a med if I feel that I can't get more.... Do I sound like a loon or what?

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Panz- have you told your pdoc/treatment team about your fears? Do they care? Are they taking you off of Klonopin for any good reason?

I think they're all afraid of addiction.. But as adults, knowing the risk, isn't it our right to decide for ourselves what the risk vs. benefit is? If it comes down to taking Klonopin or SI, then gobble the K!

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I can't believe no one admitted to hoarding so that you can take them all if you become desperate and suicidal one day. That's why I have mine. Not that I have plans... but it's comforting to know I could swallow them all and be done with it.

I know, it's fucked up, and people will probably get on my case for saying that. But I'm sure I'm not the only one.

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I will hang on to meds that didn't work for me, or that were removed from my cocktail. I still have a supply of risperdal, even though it made me lactate. I'm not quite sure why I have that one.

The only good thing I ever saved was my stash of clonazepam. I think I had over 40 pills left once I tapered off of the med. Then when my life turned to shit my family doc put me back on the med to tide me over until I could see the pdoc. The clonazepam really helps but my pdoc seems to have problems with it, I think b/c of habituation and the potential for abuse. However, I have issues with the AAPs he keeps prescribing that turn me in to a zombie (or a lactating zombie). Hmm, another issue for my next session.

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I hoard meds when I can. My insurance won't let me fill my Rx until I'm down to 3 days supply, but I don't always have the money for the co-pay, so I go without until payday rolls around again. I've got a stockpile of meds I no longer use. Trazadone that made me puke my guts out, Zoloft that wasn't very effective and I kept forgetting to take, a Seroquel starter kit that I have no memory of but must have tried at one time.

I guess it's always in the back of my mind that my Big Box O Meds could be used as a sicide tool, but I know I won't do that. And the Seroquel might be handy if my Ambien (that I'm only allowed 21 of per month) poops out on me.

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