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I know it might sound offensive, but I kind of envy people that have to get a job so they can eat. That kind of thing really lights a fire under your ass.

And trust me, I'm not one of those people that just doesn't want to work. I get depressed and feel like a hopeless loser when I don't have a job.

Uh, very offensive. There is nothing envious about working your ass off and still not being about to pay your bills. Think about what it must be to have a fire under your ass and STILL not be able to pay the car payment.

So what do you do all day?

Much more to express but will stop now. I am sure anyone after me will have other things to say.

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What if you get a part-time job doing something you enjoy if you feel like a "hopeless loser" when you don't have a job. Take a low-paying but fun job. Maybe you could even donate your time to help kids read or hang out at nursing homes...there are a lot of things you can do that are fulfilling. I don't know if you are that type of person, but I am a food stamp worker. That's what I would do.

Ooh, or go back to school and learn stuff! I would do that, too.

Sam

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Of course I'm not pissed, but I have to admit to being somewhat envious. DH and I can't quite make ends meet with 2 jobs. I know what you mean, though. I feel crappy when I'm not working for reasons that have more to do with self worth than financial worth. When I am not working I don't feel like an equal partner in the marriage or a productive member of society. It's irrational, but I think it's very common in MI and "normals".

It probably would be a good idea to get a part time job (paid or volunteer) to add some structure to your days. When I'm depressed and unmotivated, I hardly move off the couch. I sit there moping and find that the day is almost over and I haven't done a damned thing. Then I don't sleep and I'm groggy the next day, the days start blending together and become weeks. Then I really feel like a loser.

Sorry. I hope I didn't bring you further down. What about other sources of motivation? Is there a political cause you feel passionate about? A charity that you could feel connected to? A friend you could meet on a regular basis for exercise or just for coffee? Would you enjoy taking a class or learning a craft or hobby? Maybe a book club? I hope there's something there that appeals to you. Depression sucks.

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I understand what you mean, I think, to the extent that I have no family other than my cats, so I have way way too much time for navel-gazing. Other folks around here have kids and parents and responsibiities that force them to bust ass for someone other than themselves. Having other people dependent on you can be a huge, crushing, not-always-welcome responsibility, but it does light a fire under your ass.

I'm trying to tread carefully too, here. I'm not trying to say that "aww, you folks with tons o' kids and responsibilities AND MI are lucky because you got a raging inferno under your ass--so handy for motivation!"

I think for us it comes down to being needed somewhere. And if one has low motivation--and technically doesn't HAVE to do anything about it, it becomes all too easy to sit in the warm peepee of the depression wading pool. I hear ya.

So! How about giving yourself some kind of goal--or better yet, as Sam suggests--make a commitment to another person. Someone who needs you, no ifs/ands/buts.

Unless you have a specific goal in mind, education (although fulfilling) might not be enough of a motivator.

Why, just the other day I saw this written in small print on a subway ad here in Tokyo:

"It is only once he is needed by another that man truly shines"

lily

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Feeling lost without some structure to ones day is absolutely natural.

Another alternative would be to do volunteer work. This would give you more flexibility and allow you to adjust your schedule as your health requires. Red Cross, library, hospitals, school programs all need helpful volunteers, and can give you great satisfaction in helping the community.

a.m.

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