Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Recommended Posts

I am really at the end of my rope here. I am just without the love I need in my life and I feel helpless to get it. The reason is that my need for love is so great that it just drives others away. Because I need so much love an reassurance, it's never enough somehow. Plus I guess I don't have much love to give because I'm so focused on my insecurities and trying to fill the black hole of neediness. The best way to get love is to give it and to be open, but I'm so closed off and have so little to give.

I always say or do the wrong thing...always! I know I'm hard on myself, but that's the only way I know how to be. Sometimes I think life would run a lot more smoothly if I could just keep my mouth entirely shut and keep everyone at a distance. But what meaning does life have if you don't maintain close friendships and have a husband? If I'm just going to be alone there really is no point is there?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Danna, I don't have any answers, just sympathy. I have struggled with the same issues you describe my entire adult life and have yet to find many answers. The only thing I know to do is to continue searching, hoping maybe one day we will find what we are looking for.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Danna

I know for me its hard to be alone, but I also kow that I don't do intimate love well. It took alot to accept this fact, but now that I have, I get lonely, but I also have learned how to entertain myself, and treat myself well.

I sure get sad when I see couples supposedly in love, but then I remember my last two marriages. That tends to bring me around. Please keep the faith. I wish all good things for you, Sylvia

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Having a romantic partner is very nice, but I think you can have a pretty interesting life without one, tho I think at least a few friends are necessary to be something like happy.

ALthough I am male, at one time I felt much like you, but eventually I realized it was ME driving people away. I was too shaky to withstand the closeness, and I was protecting myself. Meanwhile, I thought a girlfriend would solve everything. As I got myself together a bit more, eventually I reached a point where I could let someone get close. While this improves life remarkably, it doesn't solve everything.

I am much happier (hmm... maybe I should say less unhappy, as I still have plenty of problems) having a girlfriend, but I wouldn't be without enthusiasm or friends if I didn't have one.

Work on taking care of yourself, pursuing other things that interest you (enthusiasm is attractive), and helping other people. You may reach a point where you're more confident and ready for more closeness. If you have a good grip on who you are, you are less likely to lose that sense when you get close to others, and it won't be as scary. Check into the dating thing from time to time to see if you can deal with it, but try not to be too serious at first. Above all, avoid a situation where you absolutely need your partner to get by. That's sick, and may lead to some very unpleasant problems. A good romance is a solid alliance between equals. (Don't get me wrong, it can be mushy and sappy and all that too. And sometimes one of you may be down and the other up. But with trust, you are still equals.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...