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forgot how much it hurts

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so i couldnt do it any longer. couldnt resist. i tried really hard honest. its been months.

im surprised i forgot how much it actually hurts, so the cuts arent too deep.

but now after the pain and blood have shifted my focus from my other stressors and relaxed me. i feel like some pressure is gone and i might get a good night sleep.

its really sad that i would rather watch my own blood run then look one more day at my big bloated belly, my huge thighs, all a result of these meds that are supposed to ease my mind and make me a little bit better.

i dont want to be a loser any more :)

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