Random1 Posted June 26, 2006 Share Posted June 26, 2006 What to say? What to say? I am here, a cutter, been one since I went nuts on dialysis. The medical process and I did not get along very well on the mental side. I was able to keep my emotional problems and my weak grasp on reality in check for the most part. Or, so I thought. I started self-injurious behavior to bring me back to reality. I was very careless with my life. Rock climbing, rappelling, I would climb anything at any time, saftey be damned. I even taught it for a large national youth organization. I was a stickeler for saftey for and around the kids (excapt for me). My behavior would make any injury look like it occurred in the act of doing something else. The rush of how close I could come to serious injury was what helped me differentiate what was real and what was not. Throughout dialysis I was extremely sleep deprived. I would have bouts of micro sleeps. My body stays awake while my mind checks out for a while. Another part of what I went through was some really odd hallucinations and dreams that seemed real. Heck, at that time I really started to wonder what was real and what was not. Docs want to have a Pdoc talk to me, but I took my own route with becoming an adrenaline junkie for all the wrong reasons. They did put me on Prozac, that made me very angry and short tempered then paxil. Now I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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