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Struggling with the urge to hurt


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Ok ;):):cussing: I've quit drinking, but now I don't have anything to buffer me from the people. The mail lady drove up to drop off a too big piece of mail and I found myself almost desperate for her to just pull out a gun and shoot me. I want to burn myself so bad. I can feel the phantom burn all along my arm and down my body....I want to real thing. There are two sides to me, one who is afraid of the other and the one who wants to smell my skin burning and we are both trying to escape from the chaos

Sorry, I just had to get that out

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Panz I know you are having a rough time right now... You are sober and hurting,.. me too.

I am not a self hurter like that so I don't know how you guys deal with not allowing yourself to do so.

I don't want to see you get hurt .. You are a good person with a lot of guts... Call someone you trust if you

can now... I guess when I want to hurt I punch a heavy bag like boxers..It hurts after awhile... Please don't do itany thing harminful Frosty

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I can feel the phantom burn all along my arm and down my body....I want to real thing.

I'm right there with you. I know the feeling, although mine is a cut, not a burn. It is very hard to fight it. But fight it we must, if for no other reason other than to be stubborn and proove to ourselves that we can last out a little bit longer. Not drinking this has got to be tough on you (assuming that was you previous first line of defense). Keep up the fight, I'm doing the same, and going through the same urge to SI, but not wanting to at the same time.

I'll tell you to try what I'm trying. I'm getting out and do something, anything at all. I'm going roller blading. Hopefully the workout will purge me of the feeling, if not, I'll try something else, then something else, if all else fails, well....I hope to not get there. If I do, then I'll start over and beging the fight once more, until I win

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This really takes it. My f*cking life is REAL important to people. I call the emergency number for the damned crisis crew and they take my number and never call back...

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