Loon-A-TiK Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 My mom, also BP1 (in denial of this but does see a pdoc- weird) accuses me of not being able to deal with life and of "popping a pill" every time life gets hard. These are such stupid statements. People die everyday from med non-compliance. Compliant patients have much better survival rates. I tell her I'm a loon. She says "yes, there's something wrong iwth you, but you are stronger than that", as if it were a matter of just deciding to be strong. It took a lot of strength when I was 18, after years of hearing her preach against meds, to go to the pdoc and get my meds. She wouldn't allow me to be treated before I was 18 and went myself. So, do you have people in your lives who act like weirdos and just don't get it that we need meds for a medical purpose, not some kind of crutch? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilie Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Yep Mom used to (she died) and was a raging BP1 and Dad was also a psycho BP1. They totally thought I was "fine" didn't need meds just a "lot of activities to keep me busy" and that I was a caring, "emotional" person. yeah uh-huh. lilie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Libby Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 I have a friend who is a social worker, and even she tells me to do yoga, eat healthy, and exercise, and I'll be fine, because it works for her. Well, I've got news for her. Her depression is nothing like mine. I feel like slapping her. She also says, "You have to make an effort and go do things and you'll feel better," when I am incapable of even taking a shower. I really think that there needs to be a new word for major depression. It is NOT like everybody else's "I feel blah today." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 i don't really have anyone close to me who thinks i shouldn't take meds....my dad agrees that i need my pills, but he seems to think at the same time, that my life would be a lot easier if i just tried harder. My meds help, but they don't make me 100% "normal", so i still struggle with certain things. My dad thinks that If i think positive and try as hard as i can and push myself to the limit, that i'd be much better than i am. ...he doesn't get it that i already am pushing myself to the limit and it's just not good enough for him. He's always saying "You can do anything or be anyone you want. You can be very successful in life" ....eh, Sorry dad, but an individual with schizophrenia is not likely to be extreamly successful! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wifezilla Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Hubby's parents swore he was just on drugs and not bipolar. Only took 'em 20 years to figure out reality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JBella Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 I think I've said this before, but my friend told me bipolar could be cured with talk therapy. And she said that I was on too many meds and that's why I was so crazy. And then she heard me psychotic over the phone. I would also like to know what constitutes "trying harder." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wonder Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Yeah, I just had that conversation with my mom. About how apparently I would have been better off over the past eight years if I had never gone on any medication, and about how I should try to treat my psychotic symptoms with "conditioning" instead of medication. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robotlove29 Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 i've gotten that too....yes, meds made me crazy. i wish. i need to learn to "cope" better? haha, it's almost funny how little people know about bipolar disorder. i don't know how to express myself in the best way, but all i know is that is pisses me off....grr. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
null0trooper Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 i've gotten that too....yes, meds made me crazy. When you get that, just ask precisely HOW were the medications able to travel back in time to cause the crazyness that caused you to go to the doctor who later prescribed you those medications. When the "friend"/relative huffs about the psychiatric "establishment"/"youth today"/etc., follow up with "What? Do you seriously think there's some kind of alien government conspiracy to dope our water with drugs to drive us crazy and force us to drug ourselves? " Extra points for: adding a loud "ARE YOU CRAZY??" doing it in a public location Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
resonance Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 null, that's beautiful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackbird Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 I'm on the schizo side of things and not bi-polar but I can definitely identify with this issue. My mother does not accept that I need medication. She thinks Im just like my grandmother who popped a pill for every woe in life and was booted out of a psych hospital because the doctors said there was nothing wrong with her. My mother thinks the cure for psychosis is eating a good diet and getting plenty of exercise. She believes in battling through illness and not taking meds. She has GAD and has been unmedicated for 60 years. I have to hide my prescriptions of Zyprexa because "If I find out you are on any of those drugs ending in -pine it will kill me". And she hates my "hallyperrol" (haldol) too. She has a piece of paper with the words "Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome" sitting on the mantel in case I look a bit ill and she has to tell the doctor what's wrong with me. I resisted medication for ages based on her lamentations - "You'll get fat! You'll be slow and tired! You'll kill me!". Those were years I could have been on Zyprexa having a good life! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loon-A-TiK Posted June 30, 2006 Author Share Posted June 30, 2006 Oh, get this one- I have an aunt who is just Crazy NOS. Since i am not her pdoc and stay FAR away from her (for my own mental health), i have no way of guessing what her DX(es) would be. MDD for sure, but BP runs in the family. Anyway- After my father killed himself by ODing on psych meds, she decided to stop taking hers because they were obviously responsible. not that he couldn't take it anymore, no, it was WB and if he wasn't on WB he'd be fine! people people people Stay FAR away from "Aunt Scary" and you'll be FINE! -- Loon's RX for mental health, for every DX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toplessviggen Posted July 1, 2006 Share Posted July 1, 2006 Come on now Loon.. ya gotta know we are weeeeaaak right.. all the STRONG ones are out there without their meds... oh.. that's right, they are either dead , in jail or on Opra... sorry to all the Scientologusts us s .. Me I am weak,, real weak,, check all the shit at the bottom of m' page... I am a druggy.. yep 4 sure... Like the nice psychologists said just last weak ( i did that on purpose just cuz I am on drugs ya know) , once you find what brought you to this point and deal with it, you won't be sick any more.. HELLO... any doubt of aliens now??? this sucker ain't from this world,, but then , he isn't alone... remember BP's . we are the no. 1 cause of all illegal activity now.. if you don't believe me . watch the tv.. ur one of the bad guys now,, and meds or not , you should or should not be on or off them depending on whether you are or are not, depending on the show and the moon, and the time of day and the channel.. l .. 2 ..3...... But remember,, better be NICE.. and GOOD ... and no DRUGS... cuz they are BAD and you are WEAK so why don't they all take their advice and sideways.. but that is just one junkie's oppinion... david Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
resonance Posted July 1, 2006 Share Posted July 1, 2006 remember BP's . we are the no. 1 cause of all illegal activity now.. Yes. And we are gonna form a LEAGUE OF SUPERVILLIANS. Auditions taking place in my Springer thread: http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php?showtopic=6183 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loon-A-TiK Posted July 1, 2006 Author Share Posted July 1, 2006 I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BUT I'M TOO WEAK TO KNOW!! LOL new one "you are addicted to your meds". Well, you can have physical dependency on SSRI drugs, but the ones I'm taking won't do that I don't think. but even if i am, i'd rather be a druggie!!! DEA- look here for your drug busts! we're on drugs and out of our minds! loon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chinacat Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 Better still (or really worse--) My SON is exactly like me, BP II and ADD, with learning disabilities. REFUSES to take any medications, says he wants to prove to himself that he can "make it" without the drugs. I must admit he is doing better, but jesus, why make your life so much more complicated?? I simply cannot understand--except all those "say no to drugs" lectures he heard at school must have taken in his brain somehow, and were not overcome by being raised by bikers and being around drugs, both good and bad, all his life. He does "self medicate" with pot, but take a medication for his illnesses? NEVER NEVER NEVER--he meditated, does yoga, has learned to withdraw, has learned NOT to leave the house when hypo, cause he WILL spend money he doresn't have. So--guess its working for him. Odd-- china, often confused Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chinacat Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 Just had a thought (God, 2 in one evening)-- I think being Mentally Interesting with ANY dx is rather like being homosexual. We were born this waybecause who in their right mind (LOL) would WANT to live with a very screwy brain? Do they think we do this for fun? Or entertainment? or its a "lifestyle choice?" Or we can be "re-programmed"???? Sorry, charlie, my brain doesn't work "right", and it never has, and probably never will. So I take medications. I am no more "curable" than a diabetic, or someone who is gay. You can't "fix " me, cause I am not broken I am just wired differently. So get of my case and go find some other minority group to harrass. I know, you are running low on groups that it is politically correct to harrass, but I am sure you can find someone. Meanwhile, stay the fuck away from me. Rrrrrrrrtr! (pirate talk, you know) Cpt. china of the erratic ship BIP (sorry, my parrott ran away after he got into my meds--) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toplessviggen Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BUT I'M TOO WEAK TO KNOW!! LOL new one "you are addicted to your meds". Well, you can have physical dependency on SSRI drugs, but the ones I'm taking won't do that I don't think. but even if i am, i'd rather be a druggie!!! DEA- look here for your drug busts! we're on drugs and out of our minds! loon Oh MY God Loon Help.. I am doing it again... my evening fix... I have all these.. these bottles.. and they are filled with DRUGS . all sorts of shit.. man some weird stuff man,, but ,, I just gotta.. I have the NEED.... or I think I will go NUTZ... Can you help me??? ..................like find some NEW ones Well there ain't much on TV tonight ... so ,, with are rep and all. might as well hang out the sign.. gets boring after a while.. but .. notched off the ol' bed post long ago so ... anywho.. just read I .. and my lamotrigine , shouldn't go out in the sun.. ain't life grand! everyone has got to try this BP thing.. and will that ringing in my ears ever go away... they said it was temporary some 80 odd ects ago... hey..!!! another poster for YOU want to be BP Don't YOU!!?? ahh shit ,, dropped a pill ... better find it before the cat does.... david Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loon-A-TiK Posted July 2, 2006 Author Share Posted July 2, 2006 Yes, here's my sign too, forget astrology, this one is far better: Yeppers China- others just need to pick on us. Somehow, MI has become an issue of "inner strength" or "faith" and not a real illness that needs to be treated with DRUGS. I'm helping my cousin move into a house (she is married with 2 kids- real project). Anyway, she said to me "I can tell you're not on drugs anymore because you don't look like a zombie and look so bright in your eyes". My point??!! I TAKE ALL THESE F-ING DRUGS, INCLUDING ZYPREXA!!! LOL I can't think of a stronger psych med off hand than Zyprexa. I take a huge dose of WB too. And all those other DRUGS. But somehow, self-medicating with alcohol and cigs is ok for her, but DRUGS to maintain mental balance is bad for us. Funny- I'm on so many drugs, but because I'm "bright" eyed, I must have quit my drugs! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JBella Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 Loon, You should change your username to "Bright Eyes." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punky Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 Well I just wanna chime in here, too. I'm not BP, I have depression and anxiety. At least I did before meds... should I quit them now that I feel better? Gah! I spent over 20 years "trying harder". Trying to overcome whatever made me act wierd and feel bad. After 20 years of trying harder, exhausting myself just to appear "normal", I finally gave in. It was very hard for me to open up to the idea of taking meds. I felt like taking an antidepressant was a sign of weakness (I have double standards; other people who need antidepressants or other psych meds aren't weak, but ME taking meds=weak failure (just another sign that I'm a little MI)). Seriously though, it's been such a HUGE relief! There really was a problem with my norepinephriine and/or dopamine! Those 20 years of trying harder maybe made me find some inner strengths that I might not have tapped into otherwise, but I'd compare it to somebody born without the bottom half of one leg. They could try harder to accept their body and just hop around on one foot forever, or they could accept that a prosthetic leg isn't a sign of weakness. Sure hopping around on one foot will make that leg stronger, but what about all the stress it places on the rest of their body, jarring them around with every step? People who are born with any deformity (physical or mental) shouldn't have to try harder and pretend there is no handicap. Should people with down-syndrome try harder to just grow up? Should people with parkison's disease try harder not to shake? Should people with cancer try harder to control their mutated cells? Of course not, that would all be outrageous. And people with BP, depression, schizophrenia, or whatever, we can try harder to mask our symptoms so the rest of the world is more comfortable around us, but we cannot make our brains stop functioning oddly. We cannot control the cells that act strangely. We cannot control the rate of reuptake. I love my meds. People who can stretch away their blues with yoga should keep doing yoga. I do yoga and it does feel good. But not as good as having my neurochemicals in balance! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mejeba Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 trying harder and masking the symtoms. Afraid of drugs and docs. Finally too depressed for too long and wound up with dx of bp2 with rapid rapid cycling (ultridian)? So now with Lamictal at 400 and Epival (Depakote) at 1000 and Ativan as needed, I am one of the assholes saying I shouldn't be needing this. I don't let anyone see me take the pills and wonder if I couldn't have beat this on my own. Others don't say it to me, but I know they think it, and I regret telling anyone about this. Pdoc says it was just a matter of time- I was going down- brain chemistry had me at last. tried harder, masked the symptoms, became more weird, anti-social and dysfuntional but still feel like I want to get off the meds and try again. As far as psychosis goes- if my son didn't have his Clozapine (the only anti-psych that works for him) and lithium, he'd probably be dead by now. As it is, he's only $23,000 in debt, and 4 times in the hospital and people STILL tell him he should go off the meds and be the "Indigo Child" he obviously is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
null0trooper Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 trying harder and masking the symtoms. Afraid of drugs and docs. Finally too depressed for too long and wound up with dx of bp2 with rapid rapid cycling (ultridian)? Pdoc says it was just a matter of time- I was going down- brain chemistry had me at last. Isn't that always the funnest part - that "If I'd only gotten a little help earlier, I wouldn't be so screwed up" aspect? . . . "shoulda, coulda, woulda" gets ya every time! "If we weren't all crazy we would go insane." - J. Buffett I don't let anyone see me take the pills and wonder if I couldn't have beat this on my own. Others don't say it to me, but I know they think it, and I regret telling anyone about this. Did you ever notice that the oh-so-helpful people telling you you should never ever take these awful drugs aren't the ones who'll be paying the bills, being treated for the accidents/STDs, having the abortion or raising the baby, doing the jail time, weathering the divorce, hiding the bruises ... No. Of COURSE not. Instead, they'll be the same ones smugly telling you to "get a job/life/lawyer/ connection to gawd" and secretly happy that you're the one providing their entertainment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomas Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 My wife believes that psych meds just make you crazy so the doctors can make money and that therapy accomplishes nothing. This is based largely on what her big sister, who was a psych nurse for over 40 years, told her. She is always one to tell me to get out and take a walk or do something and I will be all better. Tommy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wifezilla Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 The stupidity of some people never fails to amaze me. Its not like my hubby was going along, happy and healthy, and decided on a whim to see a pdoc to find out if anything was wrong with him...then pdoc gave him drugs and he went nuts. He was up for over a week...no sleep...paranoid as hell....convinced the tv was talking to him....we were being bugged by the FBI....etc... THEN he went to the hospital, got a dx and a prescription. Of course, he stopped meds, had to be hospitalized...rinse....repeat...rinse...repeat. Sheesh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JBella Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 I was suicidal, scratching at my skin, and ready to bash my head into the wall. The oh-so-helpful CRISIS nurse told me I should take a warm bath or perhaps go for a walk or try some nice tea. Lady, I'm trying in vain to listen to you and not the voices in my head. I want to smash a bottle over my head and jump off the nearest tall building. Tea is not going to help. But thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chinacat Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 I've got it! The SOLUTION! Since mental illness apparently runs in my family, but no one will admit it-- why don't I just become an alcoholic like the rest of them did? MUCH more acceptable than getting "treatment" for "being crazy" which is just "not what we do" Then I could just drink myself to death like numerous of my relatives--including my parents (who were very NICE alcoholics, BTW) After all, we just don't "talk" about "these kinds of things"--we just have a few relatives who were "bad to drink" as my granny said. And my OCD/ADD/Clinically depressed genius father? Just another glass of whisky--single malt, please--and it will all go away. But god forbid we should TALK about it. And take drugs? Jesus, we all know they were invented by crazy people to make you worse. Going quietly now-- china Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lemonflavor Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 why don't I just become an alcoholic I was thinking of taking up drinking but I know it would make things worse. Other option is become a monk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wonder Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 How about an alcoholic monk? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
resonance Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 a monkaholic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loon-A-TiK Posted July 3, 2006 Author Share Posted July 3, 2006 JBella- HA!!!! my eyes are just so bright. i need a higher Z dose and they'll just glow and glow! there's a job market for sure in the circus sector for glow-in-the-dark eyes. SEE- psych meds have a purpose besides making us "zombies" Yeah, the people who have their lives "together" are not the ones with weirdo issues we have. We encounter issues, some due to our MI and some just in life, and this is our own biology. i'm no pdoc, but i think that if the TV is talking to me and i'm being bugged by the FBI- that means i'm crazy and need more Zyprexa! lol. But OBVIOUSLY people who hear voices and think they're being wire-tapped just need a WALK. this is because people at the free mental health clinic i go to, a clinic that uses drug company support to give us free meds- THEY are obviously trying to make money on our free meds! they hook us up with free meds. but i am digressing...i must go walk now, i'm feeling down... LOON Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest espressogrrl Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 My mother spent my whole childhood keeping me out of therapy because she didnt want anyone to know how fucked up my grandmother was - the one who was 2 different people and slowly Mr. Hyde took over....her kids were ripped to pieces by horrible onslaughts of aorta-ripping words and wooden spoons. My sister was slowly washing the skin off her hands and I was part of OCD rituals that robbed me from sleep for years but god forbid anyone find out about grandma. today my neighbor who has blown off her own diagnosis will come into my apartment with pictures the hikes and lakes and beaches she is going to...you should go...you should go...isnt it pretty?...take a walk...take a hike.... you need sunshine.... meanwhile her push, Push PUSH PUSH is making me more anxious by the minute...first i was too anxious to go to the store, now I am too anxious to answer the door... I dont have a job where i work at night, sporatically - i work during the DAY at home and sometimes I travel for days... I can't just take off work and go the fucking beach. fuck it. get off my back. during a meds change...a MEDS CHANGE....where I was freaking out because anything would make me cry, i was terrified. I had never before not known what I was sad about. Just one little thing would have me in hysterics, and it terrified me to not know why. I proceed to get attacked by my girlfriend and my neighbor to go 30 miles away to a place i didnt know where i didnt feel safe to meet people i didnt know or feel safe around at all. attacked i tell you. "just get out and you will have a good time" it went on for 5 hours until i was in a crying heap on the floor. JESUS CHRIST can i be the judge just for once of what i need???? I decided to let the disorder out. I summoned my anger. I let my own mr hyde out. I beckoned him. I reigned down wrath on them and guilted them to shreds. How dare they put me in a place i felt unsafe? how dare they twist their own disappointment in not getting the night THEY wanted into 'concern' for me!!! Real friends dont demand the people face on a meds change? How can they demand their holes to cry in during break ups - non medical changes in chemicals - but i go through a massive med change and I have to put on my people face and entertain them? What kind of monster are you when you do that?? they let me take my meds now. It's my experience these people have/suspect their own neurosis/disorder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.