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Hiya-

My new tdoc is younger than me (I'm 27) and male. I feel like I can't discuss sex matters with him.

Any suggestions?

It is impossible to see a female counselor at my center because none are accepting clients, and the only other choice is a weird old guy. I'll take the hip younger guy.

I just need to know how I'm supposed to discuss sex and my sexcapades with this guy! heck, he's cute and someone i could see myself picking up at a bar! how am i supposed to keep from turning 50 shades of red? he's my pdoc and i have to talk to him, but i'm embarassed!

please help with suggestions!

Loon

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all i can think of is reminding yourself, this man is not an option. perhaps you could pretend he's gay, or going out with a friend, or a really big asshole, anything to make him undesirable.

it kind of sucks when this happens. too bad you can't see a woman ;)

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maybe you could explore new aspects of yourself by opening up to him? if you tend to think of guys around his age as potential sexual partners, maybe this could be an opportunity to expand yourself and interact with him, as an attractive guy, as a therapist.

just a thought.

grouse.

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My doctor is an older male and I too am embarrased because I have, well, issues with older males.

But I've been with him for a year and now I'm comfortable. You have to do it, and this is what helped:

-admitting it is hard to talk about that stuff, saying "well, this is kind of private but..." "i'm bit shy about saying it but..." well, this is personal but it is a problem"

-start with, uhmm, lower level disclosures (ie the milder, vanilla stuff, if any) rather than something that causes you a lot of embarrasment, until you've gained a certain level of comfort.

-try keeping the language kind of clinical and detached. You know, "oral sex" rather than blowjob, "encounter" "promiscous" rather than more coloqial terms.

You will still probably feel uncomfortable at first, but the felling fades. For me, it actually faded quite quickly. After all, you will soon start to think of him as "doctor" rather than "attractive man" and then you will likely stop reacting to him on that level, just as we do with a hot teacher oe banker or dentist eventually.

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My Doctor is a hottie!!! From the first day I saw him. Wowie!!!!

Anyhoo.............I have no shame. I told him everything about my sex life. My health is more important. He did blush(which I liked!)

But......I would never tell him what I thought of him or how hot I think he is. Good Doctor's are hard to find.

And this one is a keeper. I like Doc, Patient Relationship.

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i think i've had all possibilities of combinations of therapists re: gender and age. except younger-than-me female.

not by design though. i was only ever asked once as to what 'type' of counsellor i wanted. (i chose older male - he was okay).

my first counsellor was a not-unattractive older female with very large breasts. the success of my counselling with her was for me to utter the word 'masturbation' out loud. needless to say i blushed so bad i thought my eyes would pop out.

in the end i've found it doesn't matter a damn to me what type of person my therapist is other than whether they are good or bad at their job. if they are professional then i do okay with them.

good luck and take care,

grouse.

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Everyone- what great ideas!

I'm going to do them. I'll just start kind of vanilla, like "i think the zyprexa and lex are giving me sexual side effects" and work up to "i'm not interested in sex anymore and can't get wet and can't cum and it totally makes me not want to fuck". maybe not THAT blunt! lol

*blushing* loon

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My T is a beautiful younger woman. My solution has been to turn 50 shades of red, or more when necessary. She knows I am embarassed and I know I can trust her to talk about sexual stuff. Frankly it would be more difficult for me to talk to a male about delicate subjects.

Tommy

edited to correct typo

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