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I never meant to harm with my last post.


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;):):cussing:

It has been locked. Not fair. I cannot retort. It should be deleted. I did not mean to harm. I am a good man who bends over backwards to help others. I have helped herion addictcs, Crack addicts and the lot with my knowledge of drugs and withdrawal.

I meant my post to enlighten, to show people that recreation is not always bad.

But, I am flawed, and it came off bad.

I am truly sorry.

At the moment, I am covered in blood, as I have slit my wrists (it will not be lethal, don't worry).

I will survive this and post again tomorrow (if I am not banned).

But understand this:

I was deadly serious, and although recreational, the therapy was theraputic.

PS. Sorry about the spelling: I am out on whiskey at the mo.

topic edited to add a "dead ed" skull icon; indicating that the thread contains material that is triggering. ~Penny Century

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It has been locked. Not fair. I cannot retort. It should be deleted.

Roving Gnome Mod hat ON:

I don't mod this board, so you'll have to ask the listed mods for their specific reasons.

From the continuing attention it has been getting from spambots, I can't say I disagree with the decision to lock it,

whatever the reasons.

Hats' OFF.

I don't think people are hating you - just really damned worried that you may be hurting yourself more than

you will realize (in more ways than the obvious one!) until it's far too late. If you're this horribly stressed and

you're taking so much tranq meds, I'd say you need to call in the AM for an emergency appt. Something isn't

working for you, and that ain't right - whatever it is.

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Username,

I don't think anyone hates you!!

I do know that many of us are very concerned for your safety.

The amount of the benzos you say you are taking is simply staggering, and it is hard to believe that a responsible doctor has prescribed that usage.

It shouldn't be the intention here for people to beat up on you.

You are still welcome to post.

Take care,

a.m.

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I locked it because people were tired of listening to you lie. Your last post was that you were a lawyer. Give me a break.

No harm was done other than making yourself look totally absurd.

Quite simply you have to be one of the following three things.

1. Lieing out your ass and fully aware of it

2. Going to die any moment now

3. Completely delusional.

Your unwillingness to admit any of these makes it sound a lot like you're playing games with everyone here and we are not amused.

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VE not to be argumentative but the things he says don't sound like he's playing games so much as he is in really serious deep trouble mentally. I am not amused I am scared for him. If he is any one of the three things you mentioned he is in deep,deep trouble so saying you locked the thread because you were "tired" of listening to him lie and that he was making himself look totally absurd makes me wonder about your level of compassion especially as someone in charge. You should have, in my opinion, told him to get serious, immediate help rather than bashing and throwing a temper tantrum because you were "tired" of listening to him.

just my .02

lilie

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No temper tantrum here. He's been going on about this for months, about how he takes inhuman ammounts of benzos and it's perfectly fine and MDs say so blah blah blah blah blah.

Enough already.

After the "I cut myself because you closed my thread" tactic any sympathy I might have had is gone. Boo fucking hoo.

That's a fucking Darwin award waiting to happen.

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VE not to be argumentative but the things he says don't sound like he's playing games so much as he is in really serious deep trouble mentally. I am not amused I am scared for him. If he is any one of the three things you mentioned he is in deep,deep trouble so saying you locked the thread because you were "tired" of listening to him lie and that he was making himself look totally absurd makes me wonder about your level of compassion especially as someone in charge. You should have, in my opinion, told him to get serious, immediate help rather than bashing and throwing a temper tantrum because you were "tired" of listening to him.

compassion isn't the same thing as coddling someone. the behaviors username brought up, and the implication that by closing his thread we have made him cut, are things that are scary for him, yes. but they also things that are scary for the community. the focus here has to be on getting better, not on sharing self-destruction tips. and yes, it is a weird line to toe between allowing freedom of discussion and preventing a self-destruction fest. the line is not clear. but no one is in trouble here. censorship is not the goal. there are plenty of places that overly censor people and we do not want to go there.

the thread was not closed as an insult, nor as a manner of getting the last word in.

it has to be clear that taking that large of a dose of xanax is dangerous. it is not safe. it is not a personal insult to anyone to say that something is illegal and potentially lethal and does not belong on the benzo board as a reccomendation.

this isn't about a lack of compassion at all. you can have compassion while still being frustrated that something damaging is going on, you can be compassionate while taking action to stop the damage from spreading.

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What do yo mean by spambots?

Programs run by lowlifes that scan community websites and inject unwanted posts

intended to lure the website's users to another site.

It's a cheap setup for advertising, spybots, trojans, fraud, identity theft, etc.

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I locked it because people were tired of listening to you lie. Your last post was that you were a lawyer. Give me a break.

No harm was done other than making yourself look totally absurd.

Quite simply you have to be one of the following three things.

1. Lieing out your ass and fully aware of it

2. Going to die any moment now

3. Completely delusional.

Your unwillingness to admit any of these makes it sound a lot like you're playing games with everyone here and we are not amused.

You dunce. I lawyer can be contrued as anybody who studies law at degree level. At least that is the case where I come from.

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Just to add a different perspective and I didin't read what ya'll are talking about; however, I recently had a 2 week period of overusing my benzo and not recreationally, but for a number of illness related reasons, which is irrelevant, but I got in a jam with my doctor and my body, I came to the boards for help and "how do I get off this shit?" There is nothing fun or funny about overusing benzos.

High doses of benzos for any reason shouldn't be romantisized or condoned, they are evil. And with alcohol chasing, I agree with VE, Username, you are asking to wake up dead soon.

Get some help man.

S9

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;):):cussing:

It has been locked. Not fair. I cannot retort. It should be deleted. I did not mean to harm. I am a good man who bends over backwards to help others. I have helped herion addictcs, Crack addicts and the lot with my knowledge of drugs and withdrawal.

I meant my post to enlighten, to show people that recreation is not always bad.

But understand this:

I was deadly serious, and although recreational, the therapy was theraputic.

PS. Sorry about the spelling: I am out on whiskey at the mo.

topic edited to add a "dead ed" skull icon; indicating that the thread contains material that is triggering. ~Penny Century

Okay, making this clear that I am posting this section of my post not as a Mod but as someone picky about how words are used.

Point # 1 - You said you are a lawyer. In the USA typically this is taken to mean something else than it does in other parts of the world

Lawyer as defined by Wikipedia

The meaning of the word "lawyer" varies slightly between English dialects. In American English, the term is synonymous with licensed attorneys who practice law; attorneys who serve as judges, law clerks or legislators do not practice for the duration of their service. For consistency, this narrower definition is generally used throughout this article.

In British English, the word "lawyer" is used loosely to refer to a broad variety of law-trained persons. It includes practitioners such as barristers, solicitors, and Legal Executives; and people who are involved with the law but do not practice it on behalf of individual clients, such as judges, law clerks, and legislators.

So - just so everyone knows that is out there. This word means something different in the UK than in the USA. But being somone who knows the law does not make you immune to it.

which brings me to...

Point #2 - Your use of the word "recreational".

If a doctor did prescribe you such a high level of Xanax for a theraputic effect, taking it is not "recreational" You would be taking a prescription as directed by the doctor to treat whatever it is he/she prescribed it to treat. If she/he said to take 50mg as needed, or once a day, or 20 times a day, or while standing on your head directing a choir of monkies, that would not be taking it "recreationally".

If you were consistantly taking more than prescribed to feel high, or obtaining it without a prescription and not under the supervision of a doctor, or cramming it where the sun doesn't shine because you like the way it feels - then that would be taking it "recreationally".

You can't take something as prescribed by a docotr for a theraputic effect and have it be recreational at the same time.

and now I am a mod with...

Point # 3 Taking large doses of benzos, and/or mixing benzos with alcohol is dangerous. It can be fatal. It would be completely insane and very irresponsible if the mods didn't point that out. It is dangerous and potentally fatal. That is not debatable - that just science.

Do good doctors sometimes prescribe drugs that can be dangerous - yes, when the risks are outweighed by the benefits. Do good doctors usually do this with things that can kill you - possibly, but not very often. It is dangerous to encourage people to take large amounts of benzos and/or to mix them with alcohol - no matter if your doc said you could or not. It would be a bad thing for most people. And it is our job to make that clear. And encouraging people to do very dangerous stuff is Not Okay - and your post seemed to be doing that.

No mods hate you, no mods want you to not post, and it is not about having the last word. Its just being responsible and making it clear that encouraging/condoning doing dangerous stuff on purpose is Not Okay.

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