Nick Post Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 So, I first came to CB around Feb of 2005ish. Couldn't have been 2004. I'm not sure. Basically, the depression I hadn't had since I was a teen came back full force. And rather than coming and going, it stayed. I started altering the type of work I did at work, to accomodate me crying in my work van. And, I really didn't work much anymore. Good think I work for the govt, eh? So, I was here probably in my first five or six months of Lexapro. I went from 10 mg to 20mg in the thirdish month. Then, after a half year, up to 30 mg. Then something weird happened. At 30 mg, I got symptoms similar to the edge of serotonin syndrome. I was literally out of my mind. I could function, but I was always in a confused, dreamlike state. I started tapering down, thinking, partially correctly, that it was the Lex doing this to me. When I got down to 15 mg, which took about two weeks, I was ready to die again. See, with meds, I'm pretty ok. My wife worries bigtime when I'm suicidal. Her and my daughter are all I live for, literally, I would have offed myself long ago if it wasn't for my wife, and with my daughter now, I know I can't do that. I'd mess up her life too. I can't. So, back to the doc, this time we'll try Wellbutrin. I've heard good things about The WB, and I'll say this, it you want to quit smoking, it'll help you. The one main WB side effect I seem to have, assholishenss. I'm very quick tempered on it. I'm in no way depressed, which is nice, but man, I have to keep my emotions in check. And, about two weeks ago, I discovered something. See, it's not just the WB that makes me surly. I think I need to have a glycemic crash about the same time to really reach Hulk like proportions (and, of course, have some sort of bait). So, I experimented, and found out that if I don't eat, I never have my low blood sugarness. In fact, it keeps me a little lethargic and I just don't feel like fighting. Don't worry, I've only lost about 10 lbs. I do eat, when I'm in front of people. But, that's me. No eating disorder, but you know, you always have to look out for that kind of thing. So, hey to those who know me and hi to those who don't. I'm back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirMarshall Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 Hey Nick Post, Welcome back! Glad that things are doing better with the Wellbutrin. Do watch the eating. I too found last summer that I was having hypoglycemic problems which made me lightheaded, nauseas and weepy. Solution has been to start the day with a good portion of protein with breakfast instead of my usual coffee, toast and jam. That and the advice to have something with complex carbs or protein instead of pure sugar candy bar or soda during the day. How's the motorcycle running? Done any paintings recently? Cheers, a.m. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravenonice Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 Very happy to have you back! You didn't say how long you have been on the WB. I find when I go on a new drug there is a period after a few weeks when the energy gets a bit ahead of the depression and I am depressed but energized. I call it the "Fuck You" period because that is a ll I want to say to people. It morphs into a sort of giddy thing where I'm feeling better but i still am very quick with the Fuck You. I remember when I was teaching troubled teenagers. I was at their level. I had to watch myself very closely so I didn't say it to them. It wears off when all the emotions sort of catch up. A friend got in trouble at work when she was going on Effexor. She told the office staff off. This is my experience and may be difftert but it sounded familiar. You were one of the people that attracted me here when I stumbled on it in 2005. I'm really delighted to see you. Raven Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 We've already discussed all the med stuff offline so I'm just posting to say hey. If you're back, maybe I'll start haging around more, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Post Posted July 4, 2006 Author Share Posted July 4, 2006 How's the motorcycle running? Done any paintings recently? The motorcycle turned into a computer. I'm sitting at it. It's running fine. I don' think I have done any paintings. I haven't done much lately. Oh, and WB totally makes me not care about TV. However, Big Brother is about to start, and I really hope I can be interested in that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Post Posted July 4, 2006 Author Share Posted July 4, 2006 A friend got in trouble at work when she was going on Effexor. She told the office staff off. This is my experience and may be difftert but it sounded familiar. Yeah, that sounds right. SCENE: Nick Post's office, disheveled, piles of paper, thick dust on everything. William enters. William: Man, why do you keep your office so dirty? Nick: Fuck YOU! Get the fuck out of my office. Is that all you came in for, to bitch at me about my office? William: But look at this dust. Nick: Did you actually need anything, or did you just decide to come in here and try to piss me off? William: Well, I did need something but nevermind. Nick: That's right, get the fuck out. Fuck you. (yeah, it actually happened, and Will is about 6'6" and a former boxer.) We've already discussed all the med stuff offline so I'm just posting to say hey. If you're back, maybe I'll start haging around more, too. SUNSHINE yay yay. I thought you were on vacation in Antarctica? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Latin Girl Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Hi Nicky P! I really don't have much to say...................Welcome back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breeze Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Welcome back Nick! Missed you around here. You're one of my favorites. So, been talking to Sunshine offline huh? Antarctica? Is that where you got your avatar? I have to give you a hard time, and I *am* only kidding. Glad you're back. I always loved the story of the mouse in your office. And uh, I think it was 2004. Breeze Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Post Posted July 4, 2006 Author Share Posted July 4, 2006 Glad you're back. I always loved the story of the mouse in your office. And uh, I think it was 2004. OOh, my poor pet mice. You know they died, right? They are planted next to the fence with althea bushes planted over them. And I ordered dog tags which had the dates and their names, then under it "A Good Mouse" and nailed the tags to the fence. Yeah, Sunny either found me or I found her at Myspace. I've abandoned myspace mostly now, as they are a giant data mining operation in my opinion. And yeah, good to hear from you too. Forgot all the people I liked here. Just kind of abandoned it since I was doing well and I like to pretend I'm normal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest espressogrrl Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 I love your posts!! I like to follow them all over the the forums... they are so pleasantly on topic but off kilter in such a charming disarmingly way... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravenonice Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 It sure sounds like the same thing. The good news is it is time limited. It only lasts about a month then you get happier. How's that adorable daughter? raven Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olga Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Hi Nick!! It was the winter of 2004, Nick. I remember because that's when I came, too. And I loved your avatar with your daughter's pants on your head. I'm on Wellbutrin, too and I love it. I hope the bad temper goes away for you, but you're in the right place to bitch and moan. This here is the place to dump those troubles! Welcome back and I hope things get better for you-- olga Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luli2 Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Hi Nick, I'm one of the ones here who did not have the pleasure of knowing you before, but welcome back! I AM one of the ones who, while going on the effexor, who went off at work. Raven knows me and was able to reassure me that it would pass. It did pass but it took a few weeks. My friend Nancy at work would make a little sign to me, kind of surreptitiously (whew look at that long one) with two of her fingers to let me know I was going over the top. It was to tell me to go to my office and shut the door and don't come out and when out don't say a friggin thing. Yeah, I think it is like having some kind of energizing going on, increase in awareness of hey, I don't like this, and having energy but lack of awareness...and saying whatever the hell you want to. Kind of like being over sensitive and over reactive but not knowing it! Just going for it! Yeah I pissed off several people, including two clients, whom I was accused of forcing them, tricking them, to paying their overdue bills. Not supposed to do that. Well, I got over it. But I am at a new job (for 1.5 years almost) Anyhow, I hope your med work out for you. I like your little critter graves and dog tags on the fence. Very nice. Luli Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Post Posted July 4, 2006 Author Share Posted July 4, 2006 Well, my cover for my surliness at work was me quitting smoking. The WB made me not crave nicotine, but I was still addicted. So, yeah, probably some surliness due to that. What I did as far as "clients" was make a business which had been in violation for a month, but we really don't have policy to cover what they were doing, except to cut them off (aka, shut them down totally, to the point that locks will be put on their doors). I drove there pissed. Told them the facts, then said, "Tomorrow, I want you to call me and tell me that you've taken care of it. Don't call and say you're going to. Don't call and say you've contacted someone to fix it. Call and tell me it's fixed." After not doing anything for a month, with my boss visiting multiple times a week, I visited once, threatened them, and got a call the next day at 10 am saying it was fixed. And, this is considered a good thing at my work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breeze Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 OK: Here's the deal. You have a bunch of people really happy you're back. I always kind of wondered why you left in the first place. You were such a prolific poster. Anway, if you feel like that again, SAY SOMETHING. I'm like you. "I'd better act happy or I might lose my friends!". But I've leared to trust so many people here. You can really get the support you need. Uh, that was "the deal". And I hope next time you'll try it. "There's no place like home, there's no place like home......." - I love the "headstones" for the mice. Breeze Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Century Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 yay nickey post i miss the sock on head icon. i remember you from way back, but i had a diff screen name then. seems like your fan club is still here. yay. wellbutrin is good for quitting smoking. sorry about the irratibility issues. did you post on the anti depressant forum about it yet? i should go check. glad you're back penny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Post Posted July 5, 2006 Author Share Posted July 5, 2006 Well, Breeze, I didn't leave for any specific reason. What I've been saying is that I was feeling so normal, and really couldn't relate, that I decided to move on. But, well, that's not totally right. The fact is, I have to change sometimes. A guy I know, I guess a friend, summed it up when he called me a Stray Dog. I have to move on sometimes, but, I don't move on anymore. In fact, before I came back here, I left a message board for a podcast where I had posted 1700 posts. I was one of the top three posters and got mentioned on the show at times. But, then, without warning, I just decided I needed to change. I stopped listening to the show and stopped posting. I deleted the myspace account under that name and made a new one (even though I was getting good hits on my blog). Basically, I changed everything. And in the case of CB, I changed back. I'm distancing myself from the pants hat for a while. The people at the other board got really used to it, so much so that the hat was photoshopped onto other people's avatars. I guess, I think, I just like to quit while I'm ahead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Becca Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 That (bear) avatar has always been mildly disturbing to me, and I literally just figured out why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HaloGirl66 Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 Welcome back Nick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Post Posted July 5, 2006 Author Share Posted July 5, 2006 That (bear) avatar has always been mildly disturbing to me, and I literally just figured out why. I'll change it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wifezilla Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 I kinda miss the weird hat. Remember the "South Park Nick" you did? That was funny too. But I am sure you will find something fun. Glad to see you back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 Hi Nicky P! I really don't have much to say...................Welcome back. hee hee... this is such a Nick Post thing to say!! SUNSHINE yay yay. I thought you were on vacation in Antarctica? I'm back from Antartica. Where the heck have you been? Bored with instant messaging so soon? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Post Posted July 7, 2006 Author Share Posted July 7, 2006 I'm back from Antartica. Where the heck have you been? Bored with instant messaging so soon? This week has been busy. And I"m playing video games again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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