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Don't think this addiction has been covered here yet.

I am a total porn addict. I started jacking off to porn when I was about 12, and I did for many many years up until about August last year I think. I haven't done it once since then.

Giving up porn is associated with Christian morality quite a bit, and my reason for giving up has nothing to do with that. For me it's something that has really interfered with my life. It really stopped me seeking any kind of intimacy with other people. And it makes you feel yuck afterwards. I was using it a lot. Everyday. Sometimes 2 to 3 times a day. Being home a lot and depressed didn't help at all either. I had a quit day, just like a did with smoking, and codeine, both which I have never touched again. But, giving up porn has been amazing. I'm conscious of where I direct my sexual energy now, and I'm open to other people.

Lately it's been really hard. I've been home a lot the last week. I'm a bit lonely after the fallout of meeting someone, and that not working out well at all. And it might sound funny but I have a hemarroid, and that's scaring me away from meeting anyone else right now. So, I'm in this spot where I'm craving porn like crazy. It's the first time since I quit that it's been this intense. I think I'm pretty strong with addictions. Once I say no, that's it. Though jacking off now images of porn enter my mind. It's like they burn themselves in your brain and never go away.

I know this will pass eventually, but just wondering if anyone else has this problem?

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I think this may be a problem for many people. But having a problem and being willing to talk about it openly....two different things.

I hope you can resist the cravings since I think that would be a big step backward...retreating in to yourself instead of looking outward...choosing fantasy over reality.

Stay strong...I wish you the best.

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omg I can't be the only one here with this problem

... or is it too personal to talk about??

or am I just *really* weird?

Tim, One of the coolest things about you (and there are numerous) is how open you are. Just my opinion, but lots of people in and outside this particular forum, have yet to reach your level of openness, dare I say, "enlightenment."

You totally rock and again, imo, are *really* weird! But I like mine weird. B)

That you would be "revisiting" the porn issue while your bum heals doesn't strike me as odd at all. While I think porn is about as stimulating and arousing as beets fresh out of the ground, i would think you could probably even get away with temporarily using porn while your body heals and your psyche too, from the last romantic disappointment. Not that you're asking...just my 2 cents worth...

Do whatever is in YOUR best interests...

Love,

S9

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hi HL,

porn. yeah. i am addicted to it. but that is how i am 'sexual' so for me it is 'awful' and necessary. i feel that it is awful because i have hated myself all my life even for having to masturbate. i think i'm maxed out on the hatred thing now.

and i applaud you for being able to be sexual with other people. i regard that as a real success here.

grouse.

"i'm kind of like han solo always stroking my own wookie. i'm the root of all that's evil yeah, but you can call me cookie."

i've always liked that line.

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I'm the root of all that's evil...yeah

but you can call me Cookie.

..the roof...the roof...the roof is on fire....

..the roof...the roof...the roof is on fire...

Oh yeah..and what Rocky said.

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i can understand and appreciate much of what rocky says. however, i think that an alternative is to slam a wall down between yourself and other people sexually. listen to the voices that tell you all is impossible. smile and chat like you're normal. but disconnect sexual or romantic thoughts from them. force them deep down inside you and relieve your needs alone watching porn. yes, it leads to a sterile and bleak life, but you won't have to die of natural causes.

i truly hope you do choose rocky's alternative.

grouse.

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Guest espressogrrl

Naw. This is the Internet - everyone's just too busy looking for pr0n.

haha! I think these BOARDS make me bi-polar. i'm all sad and then i am falling out of my chair. do they make an anti-convulsant to cure me of you goofballs? One minute i am crying the next i am laughing...my girlfriend thinks I am crazier because I am on the CBoards too much.

note: not laughing at the porn addiction...just to the null0trooper comment....

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I personally don't think this is an addiction issue, it's a necessity.

Tom

Well, I think the reason people see it as an addiction issue is that he said it prevents him from having normal relationships with real people. It wouldn't be an issue if not for that. I think you can be single and use porn but still be open to relationships and able to engage with other people.

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While I think porn is about as stimulating and arousing as beets fresh out of the ground, i

Well I'm sure there would be someone out there who loves to get down and dirty with fresh beets. Whatever blows ones hair back I say!

No, I'm not going to starting hammering it with porn again. I'll be ok. I'm going to go see the surgeon because this thing ain't going down in a hurry.... it's quite large. It's a small procedure. Anyhow, you don't need to know the detail.

Yes, I am open, as I have noticed in you also. And you're a total weirdoo as well. The whole package darling. Would love to have a drink with you sometime if we are ever in the same town, state, and continent. Just a few geographical things to overcome, but I think we would get up to a lot of mischief.

Love,

Timothy.

PS Just to add to this... unrelated... I might just have a chance to join the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society in their yearly trip down to the Antarctic to intercept Japanese whaling vessels. I have a friend that went down late last year for a couple of months aboard the "pirate ship" Fowley Mowat, and we got together for a drink last night and she's going to talk to the captain and recommend me, as the ship needs more Australians to get in the Australian media to highlight the issue. It would totally be a trip of a lifetime. Fingers crossed.

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It's sad but true. This is what internet was inveted for, pron. I'm also catholic, but haven't been exercising it much. Now that i'm older it seems like a lot of brainwashing to me. I don't see a problem with porn, you need to stay sexually active somehow or you'll loose it. My friend didn't masturbate for some 3 months and then couldn't get it up when he needed to! Err. That would suck. I personally don't think this is an addiction issue, it's a necessity.

Tom

I disagree... it can certainly be an issue of addiction. I had been compulsively and habitually using porn for well over a decade, and it progressively got worse. It's a very asexual activity, and it closed me off physiologically and psychologically in pursuing intimacy with other men. Just like pot, cigarettes, alcohol, gambling, and anything else with the potential for addiction, if used too much it can become an addiction, enough to severely interfere with someone's life. In my case, I have a problem using porn for gratification that I could be finding elsewhere.

I think everyone can remain sexually active by masturbating, without using porn. We're all born with an imagination and given a chance it can provide plenty of scenarios to pleasure yourself with. If you're friend stopped jacking off for 3 months and went limp that had nothing to do with porn... he just stopped jacking off!

What *has* made me limp is the unreasonable sexual expectations I've picked up from porn, when it comes to having sex with someone. You become so used to jacking off to all these outrageously "sexy" men, that your mind and body expect it the next time round with some IRL. I've also noticed that since returning to masturbating with my imagination as my guide I have been far more interested in IRL men. I'm fantasising about men at work, on the tram, guys I've been with in the past, or whatever, and it's far more interesting than a ready made fantasy you can find anywhere on the net. It's certainly not a necessity.

I don't think the choice to jack off to porn to be bad in the moral sense. My choice is not an ethical one. It's a choice made out of concern for my own sexual health, and my health in general.

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Yes, I am open, as I have noticed in you also. And you're a total weirdoo as well. The whole package darling. Would love to have a drink with you sometime if we are ever in the same town, state, and continent. Just a few geographical things to overcome, but I think we would get up to a lot of mischief.
Guaranteed mischief, probably end us up in the pokey.

I have a friend that went down late last year for a couple of months aboard the "pirate ship" Fowley Mowat, and we got together for a drink last night and she's going to talk to the captain and recommend me, as the ship needs more Australians to get in the Australian media to highlight the issue. It would totally be a trip of a lifetime. Fingers crossed.
X'ing fingers! ARRRR, the dread pirate Hollow Log...

Love,

Suze

p.s. good luck with that little bit of unpleasant surgery, but don't delay--sounds like it's time for the SCALPEL!! Christ, thank god they have good drugs for such matters.

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Any chance there's a chicken and the egg issue here? Is your overwhelming need for pornography the cause of your inability to make good relationships or the result? easy to blame something on the outside for sth on the inside.

Food for thought maybe. BS probably.

-k

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Any chance there's a chicken and the egg issue here? Is your overwhelming need for pornography the cause of your inability to make good relationships or the result? easy to blame something on the outside for sth on the inside.

Food for thought maybe. BS probably.

-k

I think that's a good point. I haven't had much luck with relationships, and when I have come out of one I have had strong urges to go back to porn. But I think the pornography use is more to do with long periods where I have been very unwell mentally, and I haven't really cared much about whether I was jacking off to porn or not. So, in these periods I was using porn a lot, and developing the habit and the compulsion to do it. I wasn't well enough to pursue any kind of relationship with anyone anyhow. But, now that I am well and stable it has become an issue for the reason that I want to pursue something like that. So keeping away from porn I'm finding is a great way to naturally keep my eye on potential IRL men out there. I think I've still got stuff to learn (and re-learn) about relationships, but I'm working on it, and I've been getting somewhere lately.

I wouldn't exactly say I'm blaming porn for my inability to form relationships with others. I am looking at it as an addiction, and a behavioural problem. What's the use in saying, "oh look what porn did to me?" And in saying that I'm not about to beat myself up and blame myself for it either. With a lot of crazy behaviour I think you have to question whether it's a problem or not. I've thought about this and it has had a significant impact on my life, so I am treating it quite seriously... but also having a larf about it too, because at the end of the day shit happens.

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I have rarely used porn. Whenever I have, it has been with a boyfriend or with my ex-husband.

I know the feeling of being on the other side of a porn addiction. A lot of guys like porn, to a certain extent, and it gets very hurtful when they prefer using porn over being intimate with me. When it gets to that point, I have to make them decide between me and the porn. I got so mad at my ex husband when we were married that I wiped out his hard drive on his computer!

My last intense boyfriend gave up porn when I told him I have had bad experiences in relationships due to porn.

I think that if you have noticed you feel better and can have more intimate relationships and direct your sexual energy better, then awesome! That is so great to hear.

Loon

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To anylise me.. years ago in a really awful relationship , I watched porn .

The worse the relationship got ,the more I watched..

When I had A great partnership, I became an anti porn activist..

Now my relationship is 50-50 I could take it or leave it...Strange ....

I know how I tick.. Maybe others are the same.. Who knows..

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Well, for me, looking at porn gets old after a while. Like Tetris, only I get bored faster. Then I won't bother for awhile. (Won't bother looking at the pics, mind you. If I'm not horribly, and I mean horribly, depressed, that other activity does't go away.) If I'm in the really exciting part of a new relationship I won't bother either. From what I hear, I wonder if my tastes in porn aren't the usual. I like the pictures where the women look like they are smiling and having a good time. And not starving to death, plastered over with makeup, or surgically altered. There are some other kinds I like, but not as often or something. And if they look like they don't feel good, that's a downer. The other thing I notice is that most porn just has one or two kinds of bodies, when there must be at least dozens of attractive kinds.

I don't think once a day is excessive unless you're having some other problem.

I'll admit that sometimes Adderall makes me feel like I'm addicted to jerking off.... But that comes and goes, tho last year for a few months it was a serious problem. Not a side effect I've heard much about. Sitting around with the bits twitching even when I wasn't doing anything.

If you're going to Antarctica in a ship, better practice whacking off while not jiggling the bunk. Just like summer camp. Except maybe you'd better practice using a sock. I hear it's cold in the far South Atlantic.

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  • 2 weeks later...

My husband was addicted to porn but over the past three years he has been giving it up. He did it for me because I felt that it took away from the intimacy of our relationship. I think our sex life has been better for it, and I know he feels a whole lot better for it.

Just thought I'd add.

B

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