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more for my self.


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it's been a while since i have been on the board. so i will do a little recap: Dx biplor type 1 about 2 years ago, no body was suprized, started meds. things became easier, but went broke. Stop taking meds around november last year. The first months went well, no highs and no lows. A couple months past that i thought maybe i was misdiagnosed. friends and family think not nor does my family history. the last couple of months i have began to notice a familiar pattern. the highs are getting more noticeable, then anger, then depression. So far nothing has lasted more than a couple of days. you know those little thoughts that slowly creep their way in, well they are becoming more constant. the headaches are back, auditory hallucinations are begining. i feel like a train wreck is coming and i'm tied to the track. at this moment this not much i can do, but just keep pushing on and require some more "quiet" time. the good news i'm interviewing with a company that has a real nice health plan. i would almost take any job there just for the health benefits. i'm sorry but this post really has no direction or intention. it would appear that i am writing this more for my self.

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Well...this is a good place to just let things out. Sorry you are having a rough time right now. Is there some kind of community based program in your area that lets you pay on a sliding scale? That way you can get some help until you can get some insurance.

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I'm not Bipolar, but I am MDD and have mood swings without mania. My depression has been really drug resistant and I've had to bouts of suicidal freakouts, one of which I was hospitalized for last June. So it's been a crappy year for me, though my depression goes back 30 years.

Anyway, enough about me, I just wanted to more or less *qualify* to say I can relate to the uncertainty and apprehension contemplating an aspect of a mental illness acting up or getting worse. Life Wifezilla said, you have us, and this place has been a lifesaver for me.

Good luck with the job interview. That's horrible when we have to think about career choices in terms of who will pay our outrageous medical expenses if we are to be treated properly, and even working for a company with deep pocketed insurance companies does not guaratee this. There are no guarantees period. In life I guess one might go further...but that's depressing as shit!

Keep posting, let us know how the job thing works out!

S9

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