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i just returned from a brief shopping trip to the local hardware store.

as i was wandering, looking for red duct tape, i heard the squeak-a-squeak of a shopping cart behind me. it sounded really close, so i turned to look. the quite large man steering the cart instantly stopped looking in my direction and pretended to be really interested in whatever the hell we were near...area rugs, i think.

i accelerated. he accelerated. i made several u-turns. he made several u-turns.

squeak-a-squeak-a-squeak.

finally i went around the corner and stopped. i made sure to look down the aisle in his direction. he started to turn into the aisle, noticed me watching him, and tried to casually continue past the aisle like he hadn't done anything.

freaked me out. and since the store was filled with big guys who looked like StalkerMan, i did not have the most relaxing shopping trip.

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It's the duct tape honey. Men are attracted to duct tape. Especially the rare colors like red.

Next time form a duct tape trap by quickly pulling a length across the aisle, then as he enters that ailse dart back to the other end and close off that end with more tape.

For good measure, time allowing, tear off short lengths and form into loops, sticky side out. Drop them onto the floor and he will get snared like those little sticky mouse catchers.

a.m.

p.s. Thank goodness the cart was squeaky or you wouldn't have had a warning. ;)

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i like the duct tape trap idea, except i would take a spare roll of duct tape to devise the trap, actually buy a fresh roll. this could complicate things.

another tack would be the Needing Employee Service trap. use liberally.

fuck, hardware stores, like fitness clubs, can be full of luusers looking for something to do with their nai--- i mean equipment.

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i like the duct tape trap idea, except i would take a spare roll of duct tape to devise the trap, actually buy a fresh roll. this could complicate things.

another tack would be the Needing Employee Service trap. use liberally.

fuck, hardware stores, like fitness clubs, can be full of luusers looking for something to do with their nai--- i mean equipment.

Hahaha!!!!

PJ,

I love your Avatar!

Store Stalkers Suck!!!!

I turn around and give them"The Look"

"What the fuck are you looking at"

And if that does not work. I Usually get on the Cell phone and call my girlfriend and talk really loud!

(That would scare any guy away)

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along with wifezilla, my first thought was Stupid Store Security. Because red duct tape is SO hot on the black and red :) markets right now, it was necesary for him to stalk!

here's one even weirder-

i was at walmart at 3am in college because that was all the fun we had where i went to school in the country. i was in the bra section , looking at them and trying to figure out if i liked any or wanted to buy them. there was a guy, totally obvious store patroler, also looking at bras in my aisle!

i took a totally slutty one with red lace, and put it against my breast (kind of bulging out due to a tight/low cut shirt) and asked him if my boyfriend would get turned on by it!!! The look on his face was totally to die for.

so- lesson- you should have turned around and ASKED HIM TO ASSIST YOU WITH YOUR KINKY SEXUAL NEEDS AND TIE YOU UP WITH THE RED ELECTRICAL TAPE!!! ;) I mean, in the middle of the store. Not in private. you had to show him your exhibitionist side!

Loon

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