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i made a committment in decemeber 2005 that i would get my act together. i have been alternating between bulemic and anna since i was 18 (7yrs) when i am fat i am bulemic and try to lose the weight by purging whn i lose the weight i become anna to try and keep it off, and i cycle between the two states depending on my bipolar cycles.

so i was doing really well, excersising daily, eating correctly losing weight in a healthy natural way. then 5 weeks ago i got REALLY sick with a terrible flu, i didnt put on weight but i wasn't being good. then i went on holidays just after i got better and while snowboarding i fractured my tailbone (ouch!!!!!) ;)

now i cant exercise, i can barely walk more then a few steps with out getting killer pain.

so i lay around feeling HORRIBLE about myself, i want to start starving myself, or throwing up. something to make me feel skinny and not like a big fat beached wahle who cant move!

what should i do?? i seriously can barely move so i cant DO any exercise to stay sane, and with my meds if i am not exercising i could eat really healthy and still put on weight. i dont want to put on the weight i have lost cause it will kill me.

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Ouch, IV! When exactly did you fracture your tailbone? What has a doctor said about it? Has it been suggested maybe that you get some physical therapy for it because of the kind of injury you got and that you are in so much pain and cannot move? If you have to do that, it is a form of exercise.

I know that you probably already know this, but I will say it anyway... It is one of those lovely things we all sort *know* but choose to ignore when the ED takes a hold of us. If one does not eat or chooses to binge and purge, he or she do not recieve the proper nutients needed in the body. You, IV, are recovering from a bad injury. You especially need to make sure that you are being healthy so that you can get better and so your body can repair itself.

Let me know how you are doing.

<3

Ophelia

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H, IV. I've been asking around about other people's experiences with fractured tailbones to compensate for my lack of direct experience, and here's what I've come up with.

First, have you been X-rayed? Railbone injuries are tricky, and it isn't terribly uncommon for a fracture to be confused with severe bruising. It still hurts like hell either way, but the prognosis is a bit different for each.

Second, as Ophelia asked, how long has it been since you fell? You've probably been told it takes 4-6 weeks for an injury like this one to heal. This is true for the temporary immobility part, but you will likely be sore off and on, in specific circumstances you'll figure out as you go along, for up to a year. It will improve with time, but you'll likely have some back pain in places you didn't have it before, off and on. It's the first month or two that can be debilitating. I'm curious as to where you are in the recovery process.

Third, sitting is probably the worst position for you to be in (though you should go with whatever hurts least, and maybe your reaction is unusual and sitting on a cushion is actually okay), and walking can hurt for the first while, but kneeling could be more comfortable for you, especially when you're trying to get work done. If you find kneeling takes the pressure off your injury, you might want to consider getting a second cushion, one for sitting and one for kneeling. Being partially upright will probably feel better psychologically than lying down all the time.

The donut seat helps some people. Others do better with honest-to-goodness cushions. If you go the cushion route, having some pillowcases, preferably pretty ones, will make carrying them around for public use a bit simpler. First, pillowcases are protective and, unlike the cushions they cover, can be laundered. Second, a pretty-looking cushion (or a cushion with a pretty cover) is less embarassing to carry around in public.

One person I've asked suggested water exercise as a way to keep moving despite your injury. Since a tailbone fracture can't be put in a cast, you won't be doing damage to any medical equipment by moving around in a pool. Gravity-related pressure is a fraction of what it is outside of the pool. Particular swimming strokes might still cause you pain, but being in the water could be beneficial overall, and from there you can figure out which movements are safe for you and your particular injury.

When trying to get from place to place, there's no shame in doing it in stages. If you have to alternate between walking and kneeling or walking and sitting, that's fine. If, when driving, you can't last for prolonged periods and have to get out to take walking or kneeling breaks from constantly sitting, that's fine too. This does not make *you* weak. It is a limitation of your body. If you can retain a little more function and a little more sanity by doing things bit by bit, this is perfectly okay.

I know it's easy to feel pathetic for not being able to do simple things you could do before, but tailbone fractures are unique and unprotected. This is the fault of the fracture, not you. Nurturing yourself (try to be kind to yourself, reminding yourself that you're just as good a person now even though you can't exercise in the same ways, and eat nutritiously as Opie has reminded you to help your body heal faster -- malnourishment will only prolong the healing process) is the best thing you can do to get through the especially shitty, painful early part of recovering from your injury. I know you are doing your best in dealing with this. Try not to drop any of the things I've just mentioned, as I believe they are key to staying sane and surviving your period of limited mobility.

We're with you, IV. Your injury is not going to last forever. It's a challenge to deal with such physical restrictions when you're already working on helping yourself in numerous other ways, but the pain and limitations you are experiencing now won't and don't have to put you back to square one.

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hi,

yeah it got x-rayed when i went to the hospital where i did it in a small ski town, the x-ray showed a small hairline fracture in the tailbone. the doc said i have sever internal brusing as well, its been 8 days since it happened and i am just starting to get bruises coming to the surface.

the other bad part of the injury i didnt mention in my initial post as it is a tad bit of an overshare is that there was some minor damage down to actual anal passage (OHHHHHHHHHH GROSS i know sorry!!!!!!)

The doc did LOTS of tests and confirmed i had not dislodged my tailbone which would be a much worse injury but he did mention 3 weeks of intial strong pain then 6 weeks-3months for injury to heal but the pain could be ongoing for a while, but not as intense i would imagen.

i have one of those ring pillows that i sit on, and i have to alternate between sitting, standing and laying down fairly often to make sure the pain doesnt become to great.

the circulation in my left leg is really bad at the moment and if the pain gets to much cause i have been sitting to long i start really limping and cramping up.

i look at my holiday pics and i feel like such a fat pig. i put on 40lbs (18kgs) on meds and just a few months before going away i lost 11lbs (5kgs) but now i am so worried i will put it on.

but i have nothing i can do, other then to really watch what i eat.

if i walk i cramp up after 15mins and then lay in pain for about 2hrs

i cant do any of the equipment at the gym, cause ANY impact really hurts

and i tried swimming but the kicking motions strains on the tail bone and while it doesnt hurt when i do it after i get out it just is unbearable. i cant even do simple yoga cause i cant support my body weight, balance, or do any movements where i could possibly fall.

i just wish i had the self esteem to accept my body how it is and love myself. i am one of those people who suffers a lot medically, i have had numerous broken bones and have a very weak immune system so i cant afford to starve my body or send my body into a spin binging and purging. i just want to be healthy and love my body and not feel so horribly fat.

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I wasn't so much thinking of pool swimming (although I did mention it and hope you can reclaim that as you heal) as I was just getting in the water and splashing around. You only end up supporting about a quarter of your own weight, and balancing efforts are lessened accordingly. Whenever my knees are acting up, I'm often told to go join one of the water aerobics classes for old people. Despite our arthritis, we are able to move around and sometimes even attain some level of aerobic workout within the reduced-impact environment of the water. Anything which places strain on your injury, like the sorts of high-resistance underwater kicks such classes include, should be avoided until later, but perhaps pool-walking and underwater arm motions could help your body stay in shape? I thought I'd mention it, anyway. It has helped with my on-again off-again mobility issues.

i just wish i had the self esteem to accept my body how it is and love myself. i am one of those people who suffers a lot medically, i have had numerous broken bones and have a very weak immune system so i cant afford to starve my body or send my body into a spin binging and purging. i just want to be healthy and love my body and not feel so horribly fat.

By seeing a realistic vision of what you want and having the inner strength to keep pursuing it, despite this setback, you really are doing quite well. You've improved so much over last year. "Hard" doesn't begin to describe it, but you're getting closer to what you want to be. Keep posting.

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