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Ok, I'm in a mixed state. I moved June 1st and had to battle a few roaches in my new apt. Shouldn't be such a big deal in a big city. I used various methods I have used in the past and have not actually seen a roach in about 2-3 weeks. However, I am totally skittish and seeing them out of the corner of my eye everywhere. I see a spot, positive that it's a roach, approach the spot to find it's just lint or just a mark. I am feeling very paranoid and running around the apartment checking for roach hiding spots. I have also heard a couple of noises which I thought were bugs scurrying in the walls. This paranoia has been escalating.

Would these be considered hallucinations? I am seing pdoc on monday and I suppose I need to bring this up. I'm mortified. I've been thinking I would like a low dose of seroquel added back in to my cocktail because I can't sleep. Would say, 100 mg of seroquel rid me of my cockroach hell?

I think this is the first time I have truly experienced psychotic features. I guess I am moving up in the world. ;)

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In my very unscientific opinion, I would say that you are not hallucinating only because there is actually something *there* (the lint or spot) to see. If you were hallucinating, there wouldn't be anything there at all. I think...

I'd say that you're being phobic about the roaches... (paranoid would imply you think the roaches are plotting to "get" you ;) )

Who can blame you for jumping at spots in an new place with bugs? I know I see bugs whenever there's a new spot on the wall or a piece of rug fur floats across my vision. ugh.

I hate bugs - especially roaches, and I'm always jumping at shadows. My new place has big waterbugs that thumb their noses at bug spray and laugh at everything but my kid's heavy shoes... hahaha. Who's laughing now you ugly, creepy, now squished, bug from hell??? Of course it takes me forever to get up enough guts to sneak up and squash the horrid things.

So, cheer up! No hallucinations for you IMO. It's just a matter of getting used to your surroundings.

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That makes sense actually, except for my hearing them in the walls but that only happened maybe 3 times.

Well, so much for gabapentin for anxiety then. Useless!!

Waterbugs are absolutely terrifying. I just had a few of the typical brown german roaches and it put me over the deep end. I'm sure there is one across the room right now staring at me. Where is that boyfriend aka exterminator?

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Dee - I'm with you about the roaches. I agree that the more you don't want to see them the more you do....bring it up anyway...maybe a better anxiety med could be tried out.

Yours in cockroach skittishness hell

cyd

xoxo

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I will definitely bring it up to pdoc pac. It's not normal. I think there is one on the ceiling now and bf is not here to check. Fuck I'm losing it.

I think I need to ditch the gabapentin and useless sleeping pills and get an antipsychotic, seroquel or risperdal, something that will help me sleep and relieve anxiety and mixed state crap. The lithium I think is fine and keeping the cycles from becoming too severe. Hopefully pdoc agrees.

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I will definitely bring it up to pdoc pac. It's not normal. I think there is one on the ceiling now and bf is not here to check. Fuck I'm losing it.
Dee, I haven't kept up very well, been in the hole myself. I haven't SEEN a cockroach, for 15 years, since I moved back to PA. I haven't had to move to the ghetto so far...but being on disability and having one kid turn 18 it 2 weeks, my income is going to plummet and who knows. For the 15 years prior to moving back up here, I lived in Texas and in a very balmy part of the state. Humid, lush with proper rain fall, but the roaches were there to greet me everywhere I lived and to say goodbye when I would move.

The suck balls. And if what ya'll are refering to as "water bugs" are those fucking B52 flying roaches, OMG. I've been traumatized by them since my introduction to them all those many years ago. I'm not a huge wimp when it comes to bugs and rodents and the more happy aspects of low-rent living, but it does creep me out and if it can fucking fly? I'm gonna be phobic about it if that's what it's called.

Just wanted to ring in an Amen. So after all that hell you went through going on depakote, you went off? I thought the hell was letting up, apparently not. My pdoc gave me samples of baby doses 250 XR for migraine prophelaxis, but I'm so scared to take them. I've been through Lyrica and Topamax with really unpleasant s/e's and it's like I KNOW this one (depakoe) has horrible s/e's. Of course my pdoc whom I've lost all faith in says nobody he treats has reported s/e's. But he's the same pdoc I had to TELL HIM what Lyrica was. He's that far behind. DUH?! HELLO!?

RAAAAWWWWRRRR,

Suze

p.s. nothing has come along in 15 years that is effective for roach prevention and I know you are a neat freak (not meant as an insult) so if you can't keep them away, but that's the shits of living in an apt., you could be living right next to someone like me! ;) I'm not that nasty, but not a neat freak by any stretch.

Anyway, always good to read your posts. You always make me laugh. Good luck with meds and roaches.

Love,

Suze

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For the 15 years prior to moving back up here, I lived in Texas and in a very balmy part of the state. Humid, lush with proper rain fall, but the roaches were there to greet me everywhere I lived and to say goodbye when I would move.

Where did you live in Texas?I'm in Houston area and the "palmetto"bugs here are all over the place and they are so big they wear boots and hats.

brian

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I see various animals and bugs that aren't there. there is no way there could be rabbits in my apartment, for example.

realize that they don't like light very much. if you shine a flashlight on it, it will probably run.

the noises in the walls are probably the bugs. EEWWW!!!

what can your landlord do about it? i'd die if i saw a roach. but i live in the north.

m

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Forget that, we live in Dallas-Ft. Worth and the red ants are invading our house! They aren't big but God do they hurt when they bite! BTW, I am a clean freak and we still have these stupid things coming it!

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Those are called illusions. They are similar to hallucinations, but the thing that seperates the two is that an illusion is when you misenterpret something you see; you are seeing something that is real--a peice of lint, but misenterpreting it as a roach.

Not that i think illusions can't be just as bad as hallucinations, or seem just the same as hallucinations. I've had lots of them myself. One time i was driving and i saw a big giant shadow figure come running towards me. I slammed on my breaks. A couple seconds later i realized it was just a tree off in the distance but i had had a severe illusion of that tree. It was scarier than many of my true hallucinations have ever been.

telling your pdoc is a good idea. Seroquel would probably help too. I've never been on seroquel, so i don't know anything about the dosages

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For the 15 years prior to moving back up here, I lived in Texas and in a very balmy part of the state. Humid, lush with proper rain fall, but the roaches were there to greet me everywhere I lived and to say goodbye when I would move.

Where did you live in Texas?I'm in Houston area and the "palmetto"bugs here are all over the place and they are so big they wear boots and hats.

brian

Well, Austin is not nearly as lush as Houston. Noone will argue that. Houston is and always has been an undesirable swamp. Would rather live in the Okafanokee. ;)

S9

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Heya S9, no the depashit caused my edema (still battling it, but it's gone down alot) as well as other side effects. It didn't like me. I am a weird freak that is having no side effects from lithium, so I think it will be my base med long-term. Pdoc and I have been playing around with ad-ons. I like seroquel and know it agrees with me having taken it before so hopefully that is what I will get.

We only have the smaller german roaches in Canada thank fucking GODDESS!!!! I would absolutely die if I had to deal with those waterbugs or the flying bastards. ;)

I did win the war it seems though. The way I am scoping the place out and chasing imaginary bugs, I'm sure I would see if there were any real ones left. It's all in my head now.

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Guest espressogrrl

I should have mentioned this earlier - this is my solution for roaches and anything else that crawls or flies in my ouse - HAIRSPRAY. Let me tell you, it works.

what do you do with the hairspray? do you spray the bug when you see it? or do you spray cracks and they crawl in an die? so curious....

there are roaches in my building. significantly less as of late. when one apartment gets them, its impossible to get rid of them . you spray one apartment and they just move on to the next. I only really see them when one of my messy neighbors move and they come looking for a new pad.

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We only have the smaller german roaches in Canada thank fucking GODDESS!!!! I would absolutely die if I had to deal with those waterbugs or the flying bastards.

watch out if you see one with a little black moustache!lol

hairspray: there still around but their hair looks fabulous! ;)

brian

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You spray the hairspray right on the mofo. Just as hairspray keeps yer hair from moving, it keeps the bastard's legs from moving. Hopefully clogs up the respiratory system too.

Know what we got here? White foam spray. Not only does it stop 'em in their tracks, it covers them up so you can just pick up the edge of the white foam and throw it--and the bug--in the trash. No muss, no fuss.

Cats are excellent roach hunters, too. I scream "ROACH!" The cats yell "NEW TOY!"

lily

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konbonwa, (LILY)

when i lived on okinawa we had geckos. they would scare the @#$% out of ya when you opened a cabinet or closet. do you have them on the mainland?

nihongo wakarimaska? my cats loved them though!

briansan ;)

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For the 15 years prior to moving back up here, I lived in Texas and in a very balmy part of the state. Humid, lush with proper rain fall, but the roaches were there to greet me everywhere I lived and to say goodbye when I would move.
S9, are you calling Austin balmy? ;) Surely you jest.

Galveston is balmy with those ever present Gulf breezes and more moderate temps. Austin is semi-arid, hot as hell, drought land. No extra charge for roadside cacti, roadrunners, and rattlesnakes.

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S9, are you calling Austin balmy? ;) Surely you jest.
I always thought it was...compared to El Paso! Or Lubbock! I used to think in the years when rain was adequate it was a bit on the lush side, in the spring until mid-summer. I dunno, I was doing lots of hallucinogens back then. Maybe I didn't even live in Texas after all. :) I has seemed like the climate, over all, has gotten drier in the Crapitol City, since we left. Even before we left. It was getting browner eariler in the summer, even late spring. Since I left, I've only been there in November and New Year's, soooo <shrugs> My friends have bitched more about the heat in the last 5-10 years. When I relocate it won't be there...heat being just one reason.

/tjack

Dee: It didn't sound like depakote was a keeper, I'm glad you and lithium get along. Surely pdoc will give you S-quel if it worked for you previously. Good to see ya, make contact...god I been under a rock.

Love,

Suze

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