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Hello!!

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this or if this topic has been posted before. It came up on Monday in the general discussions at an SI social support group I go to.

Does anybody else get comments said to you about people 'like you' by people that are unaware of your situation?

It has happened to me a few times. I'll use an example. My gym training partner told me to stay away from a girl who cut herself as this was a sign. This was about six weeks after I had started cutting. Tonight, he was telling me that a woman at his workplace had put weight on because of "prescription medication she is on". He said it as though if you are on prescription medication, then that is very weird and someone to keep your distance from. He isn't a nasty person, far from it. I wouldn't train with him if he was. But he doesn't know anything about what has happened this year. He's not the only person to have done it, but they are always unaware of the situation I am in and therefore should probably be forgiven (which I do inside my head). The comments hurt to a certain extent deep down, though I can brush them off and not react to them at the time.

Take care!!

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A woman in my bellydancing class was talking about being a (non-psych) nurse visiting the pediatric psych ward:

"And when you're working with someone, you don't know if they're depressive or if they're MANIC depressive!!" *widening her eyes dramatically at the "manic" part*

I was torn between objecting and cracking up laughing, and consequently did neither.

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Uh, in high school it was a common response for people to say, "Did you forget to take your medication?" as an allegedly funny response to someone doing something out of the ordinary. EVERYONE said it - this was shortly after I was diagnosed BP and put on lithium and prozac. I found it deeply offensive, even though I knew the poor ignorant sons of bitches didn't mean any harm.

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I facilitated the discussion section for WGS 101 last term. This is basically the same as TAing except I was still an undergrad. Anyway, the class had three facilitators.

We were talking about advertising and the media one day and there was an advertisement for Candie's or something with a girl like sexually wrapping herself around televisions while a video camera taped her and that's what was on the tv...if that makes sense.

Anyway, one of the other facilitators, whom I liked and respected and spent time with outside of class etc etc, interjected to talk about how this was an example of borderline personality disorder which she went on to say was characterized by promiscuity blah blah.

And I just did not know what to say. I ended up saying nothing. It wasn't... she said things that I personally disagreed with and thought portrayed bpd in a very simplistic fatal attraction type light. It made me especially uncomfortable because this was in a classroom setting and she was in a position of semi-authority. But it was a side comment and for a lot of reasons I let it slide.

It definitely hurts, easyrider. It also makes me kind of angry. I think that's completely normal.

I think it's good that you are able to forgive them. Forgiveness is a very hard thing and a very admirable quality to have.

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Hi guys...

My daughter's friend was being dropped off by her mom and her mom's boyfriend for the weekend (the girls are teenagers and it was one big long slumber party)...and mom's boyfriend thought he was being cute I guess when he said:

"Well, I'm sure the girls will be just fine. Sally here is no trouble at all, so long as she takes all her meds! Oh and keep her away from the knives!" ha ha, ho ho, hee hee

I laughed. I didn't know what else to do. I wanted to say:

"Yeah, well, I'm sure I'll be fine, too, because I'll be taking all of MY meds." ;)

I know people think it's a real crack-up, the whole "meds" thingy. But it stings. People should shut up.

Yes...forgiveness. Forgivness. Good mantra.

~Cat

P.S. Sally's not her real name.

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I think "borderline" is misused, overused, said by people who don't know what it really means, and what it really means is also often mis applied and I'm real careful like a light goes on to warn me when I hear someone use the word. It doesn't bother me, I just notice it...and then am glad that I have a kind of functional not too rigid way of thinking about labels...I keep my own counsel about such things unless I'm with trusted folk. I could rant here but it is off topic and late and not my business...oh well.

Luli

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Hello!!

It's nice to know that other people have experienced these comments too (I mean that in a good way).

I choose to forgive these people because I know that they are unaware of my circumstances and I think that if they were aware, they wouldn't say them. If that wasn't the case, and they were saying them on purpose, I would probably confront them and then hide/cry when I got home. What I will never be able to forgive them for is making assumptions and verbal gestures like they do, because I know they will think this even if they were aware. It hurts but I won't use it against them, just not forgive. I think most people are stereotyping, judgemental jackasses more often than not. I don't know why people find any MI-related topics funny or that caution should be taken around 'us'. Sometimes I just want to blurt out "well it can't be that bad because I have it and you haven't even known!!" ;) I hate it when people suddenly diagnose someone when they know little info about that diagnosis or the person too :cussing: I find people's favourite random, inaccurate descriptions to be "a manic depressive" or "a psycho" :) LOL!

"Did you forget to take your medication?" - I heard this 'funny' response a lot too.

Take care!!

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