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Therapist Leaving


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Well, my therapist is leaving.

I know some people here don't put much faith into therapy, but I have really made progress with her. She is bright, perceptive, and easy to talk to. I've never let my guard down this much with another human being. I looked forward to sessions, even when I felt lousy afterwards I knew it was money well-spent.

I do not want to start over with someone new. I know it sounds trivial, but I really don't. Damn it.

She really want me to transition to group therapy. I much prefer individual. I really don't know what to do. I have about a month to decide. Any thoughts?

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Mack,

I totally understand.  I've had the same therapist since 1996.  If she were to tell me she was leaving, I think I would quit therapy!  She knows me almost as well as I know myself.  As you said:

She is bright, perceptive, and easy to talk to. I've never let my guard down this much with another human being. I looked forward to sessions, even when I felt lousy afterwards I knew it was money well-spent.

I have felt this way with my therapist.  I have come to think of her as my friend.  We even exchange Christmas cards.  And strange to believe, we share the same birthday.  If we pass each other out in public, we don't act like strangers, we always say "hi".

I feel your pain.  What to do?  I don't know what to say.  I have often wondered to myself what I'd do if and when that time comes.  I've had to deal with my favorite family doctor leaving, but there was nothing I could do about that.  I need a doctor.  But therapists are totally different.  *sighs*  I wish there was something I could say that would give you some comfort.  If you need someone to talk to, without letting your guard down, I'm here for ya!  I'm not a therapist, but I tend to have a great listening ear and I never judge a book by its cover.  You have my permission to email me or PM at any given time.  I will answer you.

Elizabeth

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I do not want to start over with someone new. I know it sounds trivial, but I really don't. Damn it.

i understand mack.  it's not trivial at all.  i have yet to actually start therapy, but am being pressured by most of my cb friends here into giving it a try.  i'm socialphobic and the thought of going through all that it takes just to get set up with a therapist and then comfortable with him/her has me running for the nearest exit and knocking down anything in my path.  i've heard a lot of good things about group therapy, but once again, being socialphobic, i can't even imagine going through with it.

like elizabeth, you can pm me to talk anytime.  i've got a good listening ear and broad shoulders.  i'd take your month and use it to see about finding a new therapist.  call around and find out who's good.  ask your current therapist if she has anyone she can recommend.  please don't give up on therapy all together. 

thinking of you,

Sme

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Mack,

This is really a tough situation.  This has happened to me as well.  I can only tell you the jump from the last one to this one was worth all the pain of dragging everything out of the closet again, because his ideas and responses were totally different.  Sometimes leaving a good thing leads to something better.  I don't know anything about group therapy except in a hospital environment.

Saying all that, I don't know if I would make the transition now, but I'm not sure I would need to unless something major came up.

Good luck.

Deb

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Mack,

I have changed tdocs and pdocs on several occasions and it is never easy. Like riffraff said, you feel like you are starting from the beginning each time and have to tell your story all over again. But you have made progress with your present tdoc, so maybe a new tdoc will have a different perspective to offer, new insight, another point of view. You don't say why your therapist is leaving. Is she moving?

Have you asked her why she feels the transition to group therapy would be good for you? Does she feel that you are ready to move on to something else now? Maybe she sees moving on to group therapy is the best thing for you, the best way for you to deal with your current situation, maybe she sees it as a step forward for you.

Personally, I could never bring myself to go to group therapy. Maybe I will be ready sometime. I know how difficult it would be for me to take part in any form of group therapy. The thought of having to attend group therapy scares me because of anxiety issues, my own, and also anxiety issues with having to work with a group of strangers. I prefer the one on one intraction it makes me feel much more at ease. But there may also come a time when group therapy would help me.

I understand the difficulty you are having. But having to move on, switch therapists, can sometimes be a good thing.

Good luck with your deciding what is best for you, I know it can be a tough time of transition. 

Erika

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Guest Guest

Finding a new therapist is a daunting task. But the longer you wait, the harder it is to go back. It takes a lot of emotional energy to start over.  If you think you're getting some good from it, I hope you will move right on to another one.  I would imagine your current therapist will have some suggestions.  They all seem to know one another in my city and she will know the kind of person who will work well with you.

I had a therapist about 15 years old who was really wonderful.  When she left the practice she referred me to another excellent one.  She left after about 1.5 years.  I still miss both of them.

After that, I took a break from therapy and decided that I liked not having to examine my life so much.  It's a freeing feeling.

However, after a few years, I began to feel the need to work through some old baggage and went to a guy who was completely different from the women I had seen.  He is a very warm and compassionate person, very casual, photos of his family around the office.  He was the one who figured out I was BP.  He is an EMDR specialist.

I'm not seeing him now because I only have 26 mental health visits per year, and the pdoc has been taking most of them since my medicine issues have been troublesome.  I hope the time is close (maybe now!) when I  don't need to see the pdoc so often, and  I will see if my old guy has any room for me  in his practice.

My only problem with therapy is keeping me focused.  I get in there with the full intention of working on a serious topic and end up doing silly problem-solving on what happened in the past 24 hours.  And then time is up.  ;)

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  • 4 years later...

Well, my therapist is leaving.

I do not want to start over with someone new. I know it sounds trivial, but I really don't. Damn it.

She really want me to transition to group therapy. I much prefer individual. I really don't know what to do. I have about a month to decide. Any thoughts?

My therapist was just forced to take an admin position and will no longer be allowed to do therapy. The place I go to has become so messed up (different leadership) that half the staff are quitting. Luckily my pdoc is staying there, but it's become very uncomfortable. I'd leave, but there's nowhere else I can go.. they have a sliding scale and state assistance so my visits are only $3. Nothing like that exists where I live now (they think I'm still in town, so I can still get treatment).

I'm going to stick with my pdoc, but I'm no longer going to do therapy - it isn't trivial at all. It's devastating. I don't want to start over either, and since my tdoc and I are also friends, we can still communicate.. but no therapy.

I've done group before, and it was fine.. but my tdoc lead it, so I was comfortable. I'm going to quit that too, because I'm not going to have that safety net of having her there anymore.

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