Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Recommended Posts

I am loved by my husband and my family. I had a good morning. Gifts from my man. Lunch with my folks. But this afternoon I have been sitting here dripping with tears. It's my birthday and it feels sad and disappointing. I don't think I mind getting older. But a day like today feels hollow and sad echoes in big empty spaces.

Bernard

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Happy Birthday! Is it depressing because we expect birthdays to be so much more SOMETHING than other days, and are inevitably disappointed?

Or is it more like you think more about things on your birthday, and are more upset at what you find?

Or is it that you needed maybe more celebrations--like at my house, we'd get a cake and a song and a present--nothing wrong with that, but as soon as that moment is over, it's no longer your birthday, it's just another day. You aren't special anymore.

Or does it make you examine personal relationships and find them wanting? Or am I just talkin' out my arse and it's something else?

Please don't cry.

lily

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Happy b-day Bernard!

Mine was last week and I chose to keep it low key. I am at the age where getting older IS depressing.

Rent some movies, order in dinner and just make it a relaxing day if you can.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BERNARD!

I'm sorry you're feeling so crappy. I think sometimes birthdays are bittersweet, because they're just another day closer to old age. at least thats how i feel. but there's no need to feel alone, cause we're here, ready to throw you a big-ass party CB style. i've got the ice cream, cake, and lotsa booze, so this should be a good one. ;)

how old are you, if i may ask?

...hannah

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Happy Birthday, Bernard,

I'm sorry you're feeling so low on your day. Birthdays can be nice, but they're also kind of a day of reflection on your life, which can be a Bad Idea for someone who's already depressed. I hope things will be looking up for you again soon.

Greeny

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Happy Birthday Bernard!

I hate my birthday. Loathe it. It has been my least favorite day of the year since I was a little kid. There's all this expectation surrounding it and it never lives up to the hype and there's always fighting and nobody ever showed up for my birthday parties.

The best birthday I ever had was my 20th birthday because I told everyone we would be doing NOTHING and that's what we did. We ordered a pizza from my favorite pizza place. And my parents showed up with this cat I wanted to adopt early (they said they didn't want me to have him at their house and then got him for me early as a present). And nobody sang and nobody asked me anything about my stupid day and we pretended it didn't happen.

I'm sorry this birthday didn't go well. Like I said, there's so much expectation around birthdays that sometimes even if things are nice there is a lot of disappointment there because your birthday is supposed to be like the best fucking day ever (besides new year's eve which I also hate) and so you're disappointed and then you feel bad for being disappointed about something that wasn't bad and then you're crying and you don't know why.

At least, sometimes that's how it works for me.

Again, happy birthday- I hope you're feeling a little more up right now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for the well-wishes. It was my 27th birthday. I feel a bit better today. Though my eyes are achy from the tears yesterday. I think you've all made some valid points about birthdays. They are a time for reflection and thought and when you're already depressed, it's not really something you are well-equiped to deal with. I felt lonely even though I have love. I felt unaccomplished. I felt misunderstood. Disappointed. etc. Once I get in that train of thought, once I permit that first tear to spill, it is really hard to climb out of it.

Adding to which, my husband's family (who are really family focussed - so much so that I find it a little sickening at times) didn't even bother to call me. It hurt my feelings and I felt excluded because they really make a fuss over everyone else's birthdays. And I know it was silly to get hurt by that, but I did, and when I told Husband - he was hurt and upset and it was yucky.

It's better today though. Well, better than yesterday. It helps that I have had white cockatoos playing on my birdfeeder all morning. I love those birds - such big personalities.

Anyway, thanks for your support folks.

Bern

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...