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Ok, so I'm back, for the moment. Felt like I needed your opinions on this. Plus, I miss CB.

First, this thread: http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php?showtopic=10244

When I take Geodon, I'm fine, but I did the mistake of mixing up the 20 mg pills with the 80 mg one week (same colors, different size) and that was hell on earth. I felt like other people were out to get my energy so I couldn't be near them. Colors shined brightly and the shadows were playing with the walls. Thoughts passed by slowly and it was all empty inside. I could sit staring into the wall without realizing it. Inanimate objects vibrated.

When finally realizing my mistake and getting back on 80 mg I was fine again. BUT, whenever I miss a dose, even by just a few hours, it all comes back (remember Geodons short half-life).

This is a psychosis according to my pdoc. I haven't told her about my freakout, I called today but she's on vacation and told me to call back on monday. I definately plan on telling her then. I feel I can be open with her without getting judged.

I've been fearing my sanity, even thinking I'm borderlining schizophrenia-land sometimes.

Yesterday though, I realized something that made me think. Evenings. It all comes in the evenings. I can miss my morning dose with a few hours and still be fine, even though the fact the Geodon has been out of my body for a whole night. My freakout happened in the evening.

Could this be classic flashbacks? I don't have a family history of psychosis, but I do have a history of messing with psychedelics.

I'm still beating myself up over this every day. I brought this upon myself, it's all my fault. And I can't do shit to change it now.

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I'm not sure what to say except don't beat yourself up, o.k. Let's just say that AP's and drugs/alcohol are pretty much a no-no. What you've described, from a non-medical point of view, does sound like psychosis but, again, you were taking a significantly lower dose of the Geodon, right! Give yourself some time to relax (huge), have a few days of full-dose Geodon in your system, and off the weed and I bet you are doing much better. Tell your PDoc about your experience and even if it is psychosis that doesn't mean you will have it again if you stay on the meds, etc.

Take care!

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the jump from 80 to 20 mg is quite a big one, bigger than would normally be done without a taper. it's possible that what is happening is more of a rebound psychosis than schizophrenia or drug-induced psychosis. or it could be a combination of some rebound/withdrawl action with some lingering issues from the drug freak-out.

that's great news that it doesn't happen when you take the right dose. can the dose be split into morning and night so that there are fewer issues with the half life?

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Thanks!

I already take a pill when I wake up and one at 5 p.m. And that seems to work. The thing that really scares me though is that I do get psychotic whenever I miss the afternoon dose, even by as little as two hours. As most of us, I think, I have this fantasy of someday living without meds. I guess I can give that up now...

If it is in fact drug induced, does that mean it might pass with time?

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Thanks!

I already take a pill when I wake up and one at 5 p.m. And that seems to work. The thing that really scares me though is that I do get psychotic whenever I miss the afternoon dose, even by as little as two hours. As most of us, I think, I have this fantasy of someday living without meds. I guess I can give that up now...

yes, a world where i didn't need meds would be lovely.

If it is in fact drug induced, does that mean it might pass with time?

i don't know how much literature there is on this, but mine went away.

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Ok, I'm calling my pdoc in three hours to talk to her about it. Gahh, I'm nervous. She knows I used to smoke a lot of pot, I even think I told her that the last time was in march. But she doesn't know about the freakout.

Wish me luck!

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Ok, so I don't know if anyone's reading or caring. But whatever.

I talked to my pdoc and we both agreed that I do in fact have marijuana induced psychosis. She thinks it will pass with time, which is really good news.

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hi helena,

what you described sounds like psychosis to me, not flashbacks really. I think a flashback is when you have vivid visions/feelings of being back in a traumatic situation that you once experienced.

But I've never had a flashback of something that has happened to me so im not exactly sure. i have had strange visions of very undescribable things that feel very familiar...like something from a past life. I don't know if this is part of my psychosis or an actual flashback....?

I get the same thing as you though; my psychotic 'episodes' seem to be worse at night time. I think it has to do with lack of sleep--the longer i go without sleep, the more i start to hear voices, see things, get paranoid, etc. I use to be on Geodon too. It worked well for my psychosis, but i had such bad side effects so i switched to abilify.

Try getting as much sleep as you can. even take naps durring the day if you can. It seems really important for people w/ psychosis to get plenty of sleep because the longer they go without it, the worse the symptoms get.

editing:

somehow i missed part of your post.

IF it's drug-induced psychosis, then likely it will go away after a while, but on the other hand, it could be that you have an MI with psychosis and the drugs just brought it out and it probably would have manifested itself at some point anyway, with or without drug use.

...try not to beat yourself up over it. It's not your fault.

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Ok, so I don't know if anyone's reading or caring. But whatever.

I talked to my pdoc and we both agreed that I do in fact have marijuana induced psychosis. She thinks it will pass with time, which is really good news.

that's great that it will pass in time.

how are you feeling today?

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My acid trip has (almost) passed in time. And I was fearing for my reality. But now I'm not so scared, just more comfortable behaving like a normal human). Weed is psychelis. Weed brings me back to my acid trip. I am stoned now but never mind. Do you have good friends? If not latch onto some people. I( dunno. Just that I've founf naything drug-induced to always pass within a few months, wheras the bastard mental illness never seems to go. More medication....

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Thanks everyone. I'm feeling pretty good today.

Whatever it is, psychosis or not, the Geodon is controlling it well. And I would have to take Geodon even without this, since it really works for my bipolar too.

I have (almost) stopped beating myself up over it. I can't change it, so there's no point really.

And yeah, I have good friends that I trust. Unfortunately most of them are smokers and don't really get my experience because they've never been through it.

Lots of sleep, good tip. My med combo makes me sleep during the day for hours, but they mess with my night sleep. Stupid pills. But I guess I'll appreciate that now.

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