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Drinking to stop the anxiety


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Guest Guest_lilie_*

I drink cuervo and juice to stop the anxiety I have during the day.Right now all I take is xanax every couple of days but on my next Monday appointment with my therapist I'm going to ask for klonopin. I come from a long line of alcoholics but the alcohol feels better than the freak out panic and anxiety I have. I guess I want someone to tell me to cut it out but I love not feeling the anciety.

sigh...

Lilie

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Dear,

Get off the juice and on the pills.

- Yeah, the alcohol is fun, as long as you don't have accomplish anything meaningful, like work and driving, or taking care of kids.

- Alcohol tolerance is cumulative over a lifetime.

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Guest Guest_lilie_*

You're right but I just can't do it right now. I'm BPII just moved to LA which I like to call HellLA and don't have a job so I sit home all day freaking out. My therapist is a good one. She has tapped some really important things from my messed up childhood but the alcohol keeps me mellow. As soon as I get the klonopin I'll leave the alcohol alone.

Lilie

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I just thought I'd chime in with my experience. I used alcohol to self-medicate for anxiety and bipolar and it turned into a total nightmare. Still is. I've quit drinking but it hasn't been easy. It's best to stop before it turns into something really ugly. I hope you get your klonopin soon, I'm on it now and it has done wonders for my anxiety.

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Thank you so much  for your input. I've got a few days to go. I can't lie I've already had two drinks this morning and plan to go to the liquor store at noon but I keep telling myself it's only til Monday.

Lilie

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Hello - it's Monday and I'm hoping your appt went well and on to Rx instead of alcohol.  I'm new around here but realized about 8 weeks ago that I needed serious help - during treatment, I realized how much I had been using alcohol to treat depression.  Still working on best medicine solution but quit alcohol completely to allow meds time to work - hadn't realized quite how frequently I was drinking (5-7 times/week) and that I'd built up to quite a lot per day (at least 2-3 and sometimes 6 or more in an evening) and that a lot of related behaviors (staying out too late, hanging with casual friends instead of real friends) increased depression problems even though, temporarily, while drinking, I always felt better!  I still want to drink but I'm counting on medication and therapy to see me through and I hope it works for you.

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If you decide you want to try a med on down the line to get this thing under control, I just thought I'd mention that Topamax completely obliterated any desire I had to self medicate my Bipolar with alcohol. I lost all taste for it whatsoever and am so much happier for it. It was terrible feeling that I needed to drink to minister to my poor receptors. Now Topamax does it for me.  ;)

I wish you wellness and wholeness.

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I can't take topamax anymore because of some hellacious side effects. Doc put me on paxil. Today I'm still a little jumpy but trying to get through the day without having a drink. I have xanax but that stuff gives me some wicked headaches so I'm hoping the paxil will work soon.

Lilie

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Lilie, I understand what you're going through.  I've used booze many times to calm my anxiety (and 'help' my depression).    I've found that Seroqual worked wonders for my anxiety at a very small dose - 25MG a day.  It was prescribed for sleep for me, but I realized a few weeks after taking it my anxiety was gone. They'll have to peel those pills from my cold dead hand;-)  Don't know if it's the magic bullet for ya, but I thought I'd share.

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Hey Lilie-

I used to self-medicate everyday w/ Cuervo and juice myself. I was also taking a ton of ADs which made the anxiety worse and the panic attacks more frequent and intense. As soon as I was taken off the ADs and put on Klonopin my desire for tequila disappeared. I also lost a ton of weight. Ditch Jose and get on the K.

Peace

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hello Lilie,

as a alcoholic by birthright i won't lecture ya. i have manic depression and drinking was the only time i felt happy, and able to talk to people. i'm pretty much a loner, and am insanely nervous around people cuz i mix up my words and i know i sound like a jackass. (i think that's called ephasia). i'm 25 years old, and i still have to work up the nerve and plan everything out just to order a pizza. so when i've had a couple i'm not nervous...i can talk to people and even if i mix shit up--hey duh i'm drinking...anyway on may 10 i got back on wellbutrin which you're not supposed to drink on but i've drank on through all the meds (5 or 6 since i was 18, can't remember, they all sucked) i've ever took until now. my doc said that if i didn't go to treatment she couldn't give me any more free meds (she's given me a bunch over the years) well i'm too

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  • 2 weeks later...

I still totally crave alcohol every day but don't have any and have been agoraphobic so I couldn't go and get any. My doc wouldn't put me on the klonopin because she thinks it's the same as the ativan(which barely works for me) and the xanax(which I get vicious side effects from) Both my parents were alcoholics. Will the cravings ever go away?

Lilie

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the cravings are seeming to go away a little, actually. it's been 2 months now, and even though i have drank a few times, i don't miss it as much as i thought i would. although i have been smoking more cigs. i also pretty much quit smoking pot at the same time, so the cigarettes are a vice i just feel like i need to keep for right now. it was A LOT harder at first, cuz it was such a big part of my whole life and routine. but now i just feel better about being able to say no. from time to time i still wanna drink and i mostly don't. i like being able to control my addiction, which i never thought would be possible, and is still new and exciting. i'm still on wellbutrin, and i'm still nervous around people, and that's probably how i will always be. i guess that's just who i am.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Lilie,

Keep hanging tough. I want so badly to have something to drink right now. Its Sunday, my one day off and I deserve to be good to myself. I could drink, which is always fun, but to be good in the long run, I had better figure something else out.

My pdoc has been on my about really watching my drinking. He wants me to cut it right down, but didn't say to stop completely. He keeps telling me to take my zyprexa instead of booze, so I am going to try it today.

Hey shit, I better get one now. Hold on.... TA DA!! I just popped a zyprexa. First time I have taken his advice (about drinking and drugs), which he has been giving me repeatedly for several months.

Somebody hold me to it. Dare me or something. Screw it, why don't I just dare myself? Keep at it Lilie, I'll struggle with you.

Its not easy, but suffering with anxiety and depression isn't easy either, so hopefully this little step will make it a little easier. I don't know.

Nervy.

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Hi all thanks for being here for me. I'm still drinking but not as much and I've switched from cuervo to red wine so hopefully I can take down another notch soon and not have to rely on anything but the panic just does not stop. It sucks. I took a zyprexa to help me today (10 mgs) and I guess I'll take another one at bedtime but I only take them prn because they put so much weight on.

Lilie

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Hey Lilie:

  I used to drink for anxiety, only I didn't know I was doing it. I would use it to get through the day. I haven't drank anything for about 2 years. I say that because for about 6 months, I had occasional drinks, but these were really social drinks.

The reason your p-doc probably won't give you klonopin is because they consider it like a coctail. It has the same effect as a drink. So you are trading one for the other. That is the way it was explained to me. I arrived on my p-doc's doorstep already ON klonopin, I do take it daily, but it varies throughout the year due to the place I live, on how much I take.

I would say to you that you need to either get involved in an AA group, or find something you want to do more than drink. I did. I have something in my life that is far more important to me than alcohol, and now I can't imagine drinking, even when my anxiety is pegged at a 75. I am also learning to keep the klonopin use down, through meditation, and exercise. There are a lot of things you can do.

  Sorry that you were not able to get the klonopin - it is probably just as well because you are simply trading one problem for another. I know, it's sort of where I am.

Breeze

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Hi Lilie, it's me again. the anti-benzo docs gave me the same blather about benzos being just like booze, wheich is why I've had such a hard time getting them as a full time px. But barring booze which I DO NOT WANT to go back to ever again, they are the only thing that controls my constant anxiety and panic attacks

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I've been trying to tape off the alcohol and have been doing okay aside from the fact that I feel like I want to jump out of my skin, can't keep still, and am moody as hell. Aside from that everything is just lovely (not) . I love seroquel but it isn't covered by my insurance so I can't afford it.

Lilie

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