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Car accidents and a best friends death.

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I'm wailing my head off right now so this might not make much sense.

My boyfriend was in a car accident a few days ago. He's okay, but has a few injuries. I cried and cried thinking about how close he was to death.

I get a phone call from an old best friend about 5 days ago informing me that our friend (my other old best friend, before I moved and we lost touch) had been taken to the hospital. She took ecstasy (apparently a lot of other drugs over a few years) with a girlfriend and collapsed outside of Zellers, and it wasn't looking good that she would live. But 4 days later I was told that she was breathing on her own. Then, the next morning she passes away. 10 am. So much hope for her, and now she's gone. So fucking many regrets over not phoning her sooner to catch up. Now it's too late for that.

Oh god I'm not making sense. I can barely type out what's in my head.

I'm attending her funeral tomorrow, and what am I crying over? The fact that I have no plain black tops to wear. Not even dark blue. And going out to buy one seems unbearable. And I'm sure the tears are more over Teresas death, than over lack of clothing to wear.. but oh god I don't know my head is pounding so so hard.. I'll be known as the person who didn't attend her close friends funeral because she had no plain black tops. awful awful awful

migraine pills then attempt some sleep. I can't focus.

This may not be in the right place, feel free to move it.

I should probably erase it later seeing as its all babbling and gibberish and not worded as properly as it could be if I were able to stop crying

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You are probably in shock my dear. Let the tears flow. My sister was in a car a couple of months ago and it was so tragic. I can relate. You are not alone.

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Go to the funeral, honey.

It doesn't matter what you wear.

If you don't go, you will beat yourself up for the rest of your life. So, do the right thing, and go. Pay tribute to your friend.

You can do it.

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im sure you're in shock and denial at this point. wow 2 hard pills to swallow at one time. im hear if ya need me ;)

Sebrina

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Just cry. Silly little things will be frustrating or impossible. Be glad you knew her, and remember the good things about that.

Go to the funeral, rituals are important in our lives.

a.m.

Edited by AirMarshall

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Thank you for the replies... I'm going. I found a plain black top. It may be a few years old, but it fits fine.

The funeral service is at 2 PM, and I'm leaving at 1:30 PM. So, I have 2 and a half hours until I leave.

Are you supposed to wear make-up to funerals? Because the tears are going to do a fantastic job of washing it all off. I stuffed a bunch kleenexes into my purse, because the snot just pours when I'm crying.

I can't believe I'm actually going to a place where it's appropriate to cry hysterically. Imagine that.

I looked up the memorial service website last night, and as soon as I saw her name listed in the Obituaries section, I burst into tears all over again. (This was after I attempted the nap I mentioned going to take before) My boyfriend just happened to phone me 5 minutes into my crying session, and he listened to nothing but ear damaging sobbing for a full hour. Anything I said besides wailing, I don't think he could make sense of anyway.

She's gone. She's truly gone. She had just become an aunt a week before her death. I don't know what to say to her family besides, "I'm sorry for your loss." I don't know if I'll get a chance to speak to any of her family members at all.

I can't do this. I feel so sick. I'm sure there not many ways to prepare myself into better handling the funeral... but I really hope I can contain myself from getting too loud while crying.

2 hours until I leave.

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Don't wear the makeup if it's going to run. Funerals aren't fashion statements.

Don't even try to make any eloquent speeches. Sobs and hugs are fine.

Just being there is enough support for you, the family and friends.

a.m.

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Oh bless your heart you poor baby, such a tragic thing to deal with. I want to reply in more depth and will do so, I'm flying out the door with chidren obligations, but you are now in my thoughts and know it will get better. Let the tears flow.

I know you don't know me from a can of paint, but I'm feeling for you.

Hugs if you want them,

Suzanne

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I feel you pain. my oldest brother, who i had a very special relationship with( he was the only member of my large family who actually understood me) was killed in a car accident when I was nine. Be good to yourself and let the tears flow. And it doesnt' matter what you wear to a funeral, but you should pick out something that you will never want to wear again, because you will never want to wear it again. about crying at funerals. I tried really hard not to cry at my father' funeral(Iwas 19) and I sobbed through the whole service and there were a few people who looked at me like i needed a little self-control. Fuck them.

I didn't cry at my brother's funeral because I didn't believe he was dead. I thought everyone was making it up and he was really joining the FBI. You will get through this .It takes time.

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Thank you for the replies... I'm going. I found a plain black top. It may be a few years old, but it fits fine.

The funeral service is at 2 PM, and I'm leaving at 1:30 PM. So, I have 2 and a half hours until I leave.

How you holdin up girl?

We have a death and dying thread, I have a thread over there about my late husband, there are several other Processing threads, so to speak, on that forum. Maybe when/if you feel comfortable and wanna write about it and get ongoing support....

It sucks, for a long time, but it does get better. I'm living proof.

Hugs if you want one,

S9

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Hiya-

Just cry, just be there. It doesn't matter what you wear and it doesn't matter what you say (as long as it is in-lne with what is appropriate, of course).

I had someone complain at my dad's service that "why did you bury your dad on a hill?" because she didn't like the walk. well to f-ing bad, she didn't pay for it.

just being there, and not obnoxious, is what you can do to preserve your friend's memory and honor her. We need to live in the moment, live in the Now, because we never know when will be that last phone call, hug, kiss, experience with the person we love.

loon

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Thank you for the replies... I'm going. I found a plain black top. It may be a few years old, but it fits fine.

The funeral service is at 2 PM, and I'm leaving at 1:30 PM. So, I have 2 and a half hours until I leave.

How you holdin up girl?

We have a death and dying thread, I have a thread over there about my late husband, there are several other Processing threads, so to speak, on that forum. Maybe when/if you feel comfortable and wanna write about it and get ongoing support....

I'm holding up okay, I think. Although whenever I try to talk about the funeral, more tears come.

Down one of the hallways, there were photo collages of her as she was growing up. So many beautiful photos. Take 5 or 6 steps and you'd reach another collage with photos of her at a different time of her life.

After the funeral service was over, my friend and I talked about denial, and how it doesn't feel like she's gone. Apparently that's also the first stage of grief. We spoke with her mother, and she gave us both hugs.

I really don't think I can write anymore at the moment, but I want to thank you all for your replies. They were very sweet. ;)

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I'm very glad you went to the funeral, as difficult as it was. You did right by your friend. This will be very hard for you, but you will be OK. Ask your friend to help you and give you strength. She will.

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