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scared - not sure why

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I figured I'd post really quick in case it could help.  I have a feeling of impending doom right now.  I experience this on and off and I never talk about it.  I just made new friends and I'm afraid they're going to ditch me as a friend once they learn I'm different in the way I have to work around bipolar in my life.  I feel like I'm making mistakes left and right although in reality this isn't really happening.  I guess maybe I feel opened up and exposed because I've made these new friends and I'm really afraid things will go bad and I'll end up hurt and frustrated as I usually do because I let bp rule my life.  It would be a lot easier to pretend it wasn't there but it's hard to be fully honest when I do that.  I wish I could feel like a person of value and think it doesn't matter if they have issues with me because of my life but I still feel like a puppy on a leash that will go wherever they will because I'm so eager to have them as friends.  I know I'm stronger than that on the inside but it's hard to feel so different all the time and continually search for acceptance for your differences.  Will this come in time?  It's scary to feel so alone on a continual basis.

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I hear ya babe!  I've lost all but one friend because of my bipolar.  They just don't get it!  I can't tell you how many times I've tried to explain to them what iit's like for me.  But I scare them and well...with new friends...I guess, don't be an open book.  Wait to see who you can trust and you who can't.  That's the best advice I can give ya.  You never know, someone in this new group of friends might be the one who you can cry to or vent  or whatever.  If you're ever in a situation where you feel you're too manic or too moody, just tell them you're not feeling well...it's not really a lie.  I know when I'm around my old friends, when I'm manic and I'm too hyper or bitchy....I just tell them, well, it's time time for me to be alone now...sorry to cut my visit short.  They understand now what I mean. 

Hang in there, kiddo.  If ya need a friend who does understand where you're coming from, just email me any time day or night.  I'm manic right now, so I'm up all night!  hee hee



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Sadly when we are born their is no manual on how to cope with life and what it throws at us, we just have to learn to find a way to cope one way or another, along the way we may find friends who are in fact angels, as they pick us up when we are weak, laugh with us when life is awesome, give us the positives we need to hear to be nurtured from seedlings to flowers, but above all they are their for us no matter what...(And believe me people on this board are definatly the angels we all need)

Never for a minute think you are on your own because you are not if ever you need me dont hesitate to send me a message and I am always listening.

Lots of love adn hugs


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I just made new friends and I'm afraid they're going to ditch me as a friend once they learn I'm different in the way I have to work around bipolar in my life.


Elyse, good for you. Good for you. That sounds strange. But first you should get a pat on the back for going out on a limb and making new friends.

I don't know what to say about your fears, though, except that I know how you feel. No one in my life ever feels comfortable talking with me about my experience with BP. 

That said, many of those people are just not sure what to say. They haven't experienced it, so they don't understand. It doesn't mean they dislike you -- they probably just don't know how to respond.

Best of luck with everything!


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