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Loon-A-TiK

Middle-Aged Men and Younger Women?

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I have nothing to add,

but this guy,

is used up.

It's rubber dummy time asshole

Stasis

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Get this! I have dated a man who is 71 and I am 30! He has sons who are old enough to be my father!

blackbird

Thank You Black Bird,

I'm not so stressed out dating younger women,

I do appreciate if they know who is currently President

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this is my take....... and I don't know the answer...... however, as someone who is maybe in that 'in-between' zone (32)...... i'm finding there is a difference between dating a woman in the (and again generalising here) but; 30-40 age range; and in the 20-30; and the 40+.... in a sense it seems the latter two have more in common with each other, and it is a similar experience dating them, as opposed to the 30-40 range...... i don't know if the commonality is my messed up self..... or if it is something societal or biological i am noticing.....

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oh and i'd wade in on jaym......... but to be honest.......... it just makes me sad......... because really....... all we have for sure in this short time betwixt the stars that we live on this planet....... is the opportunity to show some care and concern for other people...... and maybe to be open enough and exposed enough........ that others will share that back with us....... and there might be some joy there...... its not a formula.......... or a process........ or a right or a wrong........ there's just so much where you wish you could open yourself up........ to let the common love or common pain you feel for/with all people out..... and the sharing above of tales of beauty in love and and sex as we age....... they're stories of hope...... and they make me smile (and maybe cry just a little) :D

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I realize this is an older thread, but wow, Jaym is impressively offensive. Why does it always seem like those with ridiculously high standards don't hold themselves to them?

Anyway, my fiance is 34, not middle aged but about 10 years older than I. I don't think there is a specific reason other than we connected and fell in love. Age doesn't always play a role for men, in fact, he thought I was much closer to his age when we first started dating. I'm sure some older men like to have younger arm candy as a status symbol but that's not always the case. On the flip side, I've always preferred men on the older side. Many men in their early 20's are just not on the same page as I am and not something I'm interested in dating.

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I have as much a right as anyone to the young, fit sex that pretty much everyone else got to have.

Unlike food and clean drinking water, sex is not an inalienable human right. Sex is something you earn by finding a partner who wants what you have to give. Relationships of equals are ideal. Everyone gets to determine what constitutes equality for themselves.

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I am a middle aged , over weight mum who was left and my ex married someone who is 18 years younger than him.

I actually feel bad for the girl in a way. But not enough to say anything . More fun watching it all go up in flames.

Not all may/ September relationships are a bad thing. A lot of them work for whatever reason. And many blessings.

But for anyone to dismiss a human being because age has taken its toll , well then maybe it's time to take a hard look at yourself first.

Both men and women over 40 have energy, sexy bodies , are intelligent and won't do the drama that 20 year olds are prone too...because of lack of experience only not because they are dumb. Love is so hard to find these days. Why put barriers up that clearly are not working.

I am a chef ,so I have scars and my body has pumped two handsome boys out . I have lost and gained and lost and gained weight mostly due to men and mental illness. But I am far more better off than anyone younger than me .

Even as I re enter the dating world I am finding that I am more open to age and looks as long as they have a job they are happy in and know the lyrics to Blister In the Sun...lol

Open your heart and mind to possibilities that true love will come into your life.

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Fit sex? What's that? Seriously even at 20' s those boys were only interested in their own dicks and were quick. Older men and women are much more willing to indulge in prolong sexual experience that is extremely satisfying. They also more willing to experiment and such.

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Jay m seems to have crawled back into his mancave many moons ago, to lick his wounds and game on...

Personally I hope to grow old in a most bawdy manner. Am working on it.

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Speaking just for myself, I don't spend enough time with Mensa-level Druids who are master students of wisdom. Who wouldn't want more of that? 

 

I'm physically more attracted to younger women, but more romantically attracted to women my own age. I also wonder if maybe older women have higher standards than younger ones, or are better at spotting men that won't work out; that might be too intimidating for some men. 

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I wanted to answer this and wrote five different responses. Everyone covered everything.

 

I wrote a novel where this middle aged dude, "younger woman" is a thing, that's at the editor's now and a publisher who thought it was good enough to put out there. (Always amazes me when that happens--I indie publish on Amazon and other ebook sites. when the trad world notices me, it tickles a little)

 

Personally, for me in my late forties, over the past few years I woke up and read the writing on the wall. Meds helped me get to that place where I wasn't so unbelievable depressed that I would just continue to roll over and accept the lie I bought into about self-interest=narcissism, if she says no sex, then you justs take it like a man and be responsible; you as a man do not matter anyway. I realized I don't have to accept a 24 yr "marriage" that's essentially roommate buddies who are celibate by one person's unilateral choice. I NEED female affection, love, sex (I know, it's cliché.. fuck that). I need it like I need air. So I'm done with suffocating.

 

Once I'm solvent again I'm out and moving on—I was a SAHD for eons and try being late forties and a creative type in this bankers-only under forty-only economy. So it's an uphill battle but I'm fighting hard and I am holding out hope I can get up first and last and have enough to live on month month and get the hell out of this mess. I know, I'm a man and I'm not supposed to talk like that, bottle it all up, pretend I'm da shit and throw down n'stuff.

 

So "sources"--you know, "they"--say women born after '74 have all that going on and they get it and they like a middle aged guy who's rich and blabbity blah. Would I like a firmerish body? I would. One please.

 

But we're talking women not produce and they aren't all the same. How will I find a woman I can bring it to who will want that and bring what she's got to me? I don't give a damn if she's a fellow GenXer or born after '74. I just want what I didn't have for 24 years. I own my stupidity. I'm making the change. If I die under the bridge by my own hand alone and still celibate, so be it. I'm looking to avoid that outcome, LOL. That's the one I believed I was headed for like gravity because I was already starving for air.

 

What I do know is middle aged men who want, are with, or desire "younger women" are not dirty, they're not selfish or wanting a do over (although that does kinda sound fun since I never got the 24 years of "hoohah" other people seem to have had--am I the ONLY guy on earth who was as stupid as I was? I wonder about that sometimes). They aren't the assholes their generational peer-exes swear they are.

 

Okay, statistically some can be... we ARE talking people not produce.

Edited by JackBQuick

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I quite like older people.  I am not sure why.  I have had relationships with people my age, though.  I find it kind of disturbing when an older person is against dating people their age and only dates younger. 

Edited by evilnessness

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When I was a teenager, I really liked older women. Dated a couple. When I was in my 20's, I dated girls my own age. When I was in my 30's, I dated women from late teens to mid 20's, mostly - and one who was exactly my age. I stopped dating in my mid 30's and am now 41. 

 

The obvious factor is youthful beauty. But there's also the fact that younger women are just more fun. I have no interest in starting a family. I don't want to get married. I don't even like to date anymore, because I find that I'm consistently less happy in a relationship than on my own. 

 

My standards are very high. I date women much more attractive than me. People say "that's not fair", like you are only allowed to date someone as ugly as you or worse. I don't care - if she's attracted to me, then that's all I need. What am I going to do, tell a girl that I can't date her because she's too much better looking than me? 

 

But it doesn't matter. Like I said, I've given up on dating. All I wanted from dating was to have a lot of fun, lots of romance, and yes love, and of course sex! One thing about dating up, is I just can't carry on a relationship if I don't find a woman attractive. Who would even want to date someone who didn't find them attractive? 

 

Women do tend to like me. I've got the 'bad boy' thing apparently that many can't resist. 

 

But I can't relate to older women. The things they care about aren't even on my radar screen. In life, all I want is freedom, experience, and good times. I don't care about a career. I wasn't born to work. I don't exist to manage a bank for 40 years or something. Things like that are completely meaningless to me. I don't want possessions. Having a house and a million belongings to take care of just weighs you down. I only want to own the few things that allow me to go out and LIVE life! 

 

My parents are possession junkies. They have houses and cars and boats and everything you could imagine. And guess what they do with ALL of their time? They spend it taking care of that stuff. IT owns THEM. 

 

Older women want to nest. Women in their late 20's, early 30's want to husband shop and start making babies. And the only thing anyone has to talk about is WORK. I just don't care about those things. Young women, like age 24, are perfect. They live in the moment. They aren't with you so they can test you for how good you'll be at providing for their kids and house and all that. 

 

And they aren't afraid to have a good time. I just want to be free, go with the flow, see what happens. Just live in the moment. I don't date women in order to vet them for how well they will serve me for the next several decades. 

 

And old people of both sexes just seem to have given up. Everything is "no, I'd better get home so I can get up early tomorrow and get stuff done." No adventure, no interest in the great big universe, just what throw pillows would look good with the travertine tile floor. 

 

I guess I'm immature, so I get along with immature women. I don't see it that way myself - I just see it as they haven't become jaded and given up on everything. But who knows? I just do what feels right. 

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Older women want to nest. Women in their late 20's, early 30's want to husband shop and start making babies. And the only thing anyone has to talk about is WORK. I just don't care about those things. Young women, like age 24, are perfect. They live in the moment. They aren't with you so they can test you for how good you'll be at providing for their kids and house and all that. 

 

 

 

 

I'm so excited this thread has been resurrected.  

 

And damn, I'm doing it ALL wrong.  #stupidwoman

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"And old people of both sexes just seem to have given up. Everything is "no, I'd better get home so I can get up early tomorrow and get stuff done." No adventure, no interest in the great big universe, just what throw pillows would look good with the travertine tile floor."

 

I better get my geriatric ass over to Pier 1 tomorrow and get some pillows that go with my tile floor.  But right now it's 9:00 PM, so off to bed I go so I can be up early in the morning.

 

What the fuck planet do you live on?

 

olga

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Not just any tile floor Olga, a TRAVERTINE tile floor (whatever that is).  

 

In the meantime, I'm off to start making babies and nest.  LOL

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