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Hey girl,

You know I am no expert, but I have a few thoughts.

The best way to find out what the doc is secretly thinking is to ask.

If you are routinely hallucinating, shouldn't you try an atypical antipyschotic, no matter what your dx? It might be a huge relief

I would think if you were the sort of schizophrenic who had a bad prognosis, you'd have more negative symptoms, more trouble finishing school and/or working, making basic connections to friends.  None of that sounds like what I know of you.

And if you're going to get well enough to live your life, then truly, the dx doesn't matter.  I know it's hard to feel that way, but still.

And on the abortion/childbearing thing, I think there are support groups that aren't disguised beat-you-up anti-abortion folks, and also perinatologists you could talk to about cerclage, in case maybe you can carry a baby (my mom did, after giving birth at 26 wks due to incompetent cervix). 

(Talk to doctor!  Get better meds, so Balloon Man can go the hell away!)

Best wishes,

sg

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At first when I read it I started thinking that maybe there was a reason for hearing the voices, I mean I always try to see things for EVERY angle. So hearing voices could be a gift, I mean what if something is really there and you are hearing spirits. It's possible isn't it. I have heard voices before, I chalk it up as nothing unusual. Now as I read down further and see that you are actually seeing things, now that's something to think about. You might want to have a brain scan. I think there are several things that could cause visions so check out every option before you let someone tell you that you are schizo. Also understand that even if you are, it's a hard thing to handle at first but it can be controlled so don't be afraid. So ask your doc what he is really thinking and try to seek a neurologist.

Take care,

Erika

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I agree with squirlygrl. Often the label, the Dx, doesn't matter as long as your pdoc is getting you on the right track, to get you the correct medications that will make you feel better. And also that if you want to know what he is thinking you need to go ahead and ask. Some pdocs believe in treating symptoms rather than assigning a label. But either way, I also think it is very important to share all your symptoms with your pdoc. If you are having hallucinations the pdoc has to now in order for you to get the best treatment. And if the hallucinations scare you the best way to feel safer is to get on the correct medication. In the past, and I am sure in some situations these days as well, distinguishing bipolar with psychotic features from schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder can be difficult. Many of the things you describe could come from severe anxiety. Again, many reasons it is important to be as honest with your pdoc about past and present behavior and symptoms. 

You say you are cycling every few days, rapid cycling oftens responds better to some medication than others, so this is an important thing to let your pdoc know as well. Any psychosis may make it necessary to be on some sort of psychotic medication but if it helps the symptoms disappear it is worth it, I speak from personal experience. Having any hypomanic or manic reactions to a medication that effects serotonin can be a sign of bipolar.

As far as suggestions this is what I have for now. Stay with the pdoc, tell him everything you can, and talk about getting on the correct medication regardless if you get a label, Dx, out of him or not.

Best of luck.

Erika

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I noticed that what I wrote might have sounded weird. I'm sorry if it did. I'm just wierd in general I guess but I think it's a good thing, makes me unique. Anyway, I have to tell you alittle story about me so you can understand where I'm coming from. I used to hear sounds in my dads house. At first, it scared the shit out of me, I didn't know what was going on. Then one night I went to work and when I came home, he asked me if I had anything voice activated in my bedroom. He said that he heard voices coming from my end of the house. He was so sure of it that he took his gun outside to check (didn't live in a good side of town). Anyway, after talking to each other, we figured out that we have spirits in the house and I no longer worry when I hear things in his house. Second thing that happened. I totally freaked one day when I had had a headache for a month straight and nothing would get rid of it (since then any headache makes me panic). I flipped out and my arms and legs wouldn't move correctly and my sister took me to the hospital. Dr. said that I had stress headaches and he gave me vicodin. The vicodin didn't take the pain away. For another month I continued on with the headache but I started to worry when I realized that my uncle had a brain tumor. I made up some story about falling and hitting my head so the ER would give me a brain scan, turns out that nothing was wrong and the headache went away. See that's why I always think that you should check into every avenue before settling on one dx. Anyway it's true what Erika Said the DX doesn't really matter as long as you get better. I hope and pray for you that things will get better for you. I hope that you get all of the help that you need and that they find the right meds for you. It can be difficult to handle sometimes but that's why we are here. I'm supporting you. Good luck sweetie.

Erika78750

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