Akathesia Sux Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 I have a conundrum. I started day therapy today at my local MH facility (this is follow-up after my hospitalization) and quickly realized that most people there were severe schizophrenic types -- you know hearing voices, seeing things etc... I told the group counselor that I wasn't sure that I belonged since I have more issues with depression and anxiety. I mean I really do feel for the others in there and a few of them brought tears to my eyes as they discussed the voices in their heads. I felt almost lucky to have BP disorder and not a Schizo disorder. I certainly do wish them all the best but these folks are mostly non-functioning types who have been coming to therapy for 20 years and all of them cannot and do not work. In other words, they are exactly at the point I hope NOT to be in the years to come. I don't want to have to rely on government checks and city transportation. At least I HOPE I don't have to. One of them even thought I was a visitor there visiting an ill family member. They didn't think for a second that I actually had any illness myself. I feel like I am better than my illness and that there is no reason I should not be able to live a normal functioning life replete with a job, a spouse, and a white picket fence. However, I have not worked in a while and often times feel like I am heading directly to the place these folks are. My conundrum is: I feel like I cannot fit into group therapy sessions at my MH clinic, yet I also feel like I do not fit into society at large either. Sure, I can feign my emotions and pretend to be normal and many people are indeed shocked when they find out I have any form of mental disease, but deep down I know I am often times tortured inside. The recent two months have been especially tough. Does anyone else feel like you cannot relate to those day therapy sessions at your local hospital/clinic? I wish there were illness specific therapy sessions in my area. You often hear about successful people with Bi-polar disorder, but, in my area at least, all the people I see are non-functioning and on disability. Does anyone know where I am coming from? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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