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ok so my step daughter is 9.  she is a great kid most of the time and i love her to death. ok so about the past month or so she has been coming over alot. she told my mother in law it is because her mom is throwing her off to us so she can spend time with her boyfriend. her mom tells us it is cause she has to work or whatever. i dont know which is  true. the same day she told my mother in law that she is sad because she doesnt spend much time with he mom and then she started crying that she doesnt spend any time with her dad so she doesnt want to be here either. now this  is so not true. we always make plans with her and our daughter adn she never wants to go with us. she says she wants to be with her grandma (my mother in law). which fine oyu know you want to stay there ok. but why cry that you arent spending time with your dad. he even tries to make time alone with her just him and her he does the same with our baby. just you know quality dad daughter time. she just never wants to do anything. so i try talking to her try spending time with her no she doesnt want to. so this week she was supposed to come stay with us all week. fine but she hasnt been here all week. our house is bnehind my in laws so they just walk over there. so she has been with my mother in law all week. we tell her were going here or there but she doesnt want to come. but she has my mother in law mad at my husband thinking hes not spending time with her. when she is the one thatdoesnt want to be here. so anyhow i dont know whats going on with her. she used to love being here with us and she was always very affectionate and now we can barely get her to even talk to us. i dont know whats going on. does anyone else have a similar experience or anything? my mom says its cause she wants attention and what not from her mom but shes not getting it so she sees what my husband and i do for her and it hurts shes not getting the same from her mom. that could be the case i guess but i dont know. i just want to make her happy and we dont know how to do thatanymore.

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can you spell manipulation?

She is trying to stir things up. she may not know this but she Knows that she can get a rise out of you, get Grandma real interested and maybe mad at you and or hubby and enjoy bitching. Nine year lod girls just love bitching.

Don't get mad at her , just be aware that she is playing at control. when it is time for her dad to take her somewhere he needs to say" we're going out, do you want to go to MacDonalds or Wendys?" Not "Do you want to go have lunch with me?"

Don't give her the power to refuse. Get hubby to talk to his mom about helping get her to go with him.

Him first, then work on the relationship with you and babysister.

Never ask a kid "Do you want to do____?" always Say "We are doing _________, do you want ____ or _____?"

Good luck ;)

Raven

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