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Creepy Guy Advice Needed!


Loon-A-TiK

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Hiya- No lectures please on how I ended up in this situation in the first place...

This guy I slept with a few months ago (One Night Stand) keeps "stalking" me. First he kept calling and I told him to stop. Then he keeps seeing me walking down the street (small neighborhood) and tries to get me to stop and talk, and I just blow him off because he creeps me out. I tell him he creeps me out and I don't want to talk. He doesn't even live in this neighborhood, he just likes to hang out here because it's cool here. He hangs out at my favorite club where I go every Friday, and that's where I met him and of course keep seeing him and trying to get him to leave me alone.

Last night he cornered me and put his arms around me, and greeted me and told the guy standing next to him that we've slept together (gee, thanks), and he tried to kiss me! I totally tried to get away and almost hit him. I told him to leave me alone. He asked me why I don't like him and I told him he creeps me out and that he scares me. he kept trying to talk to me (VERY creepy and annoying), but I agnored him and blew him off. There isn't much you can do in that place because it is small.

I was on the dance floor when he left and he came over, grabbed me, and tried to put his tongue in my mouth. TOTALLY gross and INAPPROPRIATE!!! I was about to kick his nuts and he knew it, so he took some backsteps quicker than Jesus would. I hissed at him to leave me alone or I'd tell the bouncers. He asked me again why I wouldn't go home with him. DUH. I told him again I'd tell the bouncers.

He finally left the club.

ADVICE?

What can I do? Should I have my ex-boyfriend (the guy who was the DJ last night) have a talk with him for me? Should I have the bouncers have a talk with him? Should I start a bar fight with him and kick his nuts with my heeled dancing boots? Nice one! I have strong legs and nice kicks! Should I keep up with my hisses and threats?

I've been stalked by nutjobs before but I don't know if this is stalking behavior. It is just really annoying and he's asking for my wrath. Especially for trying to kiss me against my will, holding me captive without my consent, and blabbing to the world that we've f*cked.

Loon

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If it were me, I'd talk to both the DJ and the bouncers and have all of them talk to his ass. He sounds like he could be dangerous.

Also, don't be walkin' your sidewalks alone. He could grab you and force himself on you, the bastard.

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yep you're being stalked and yep I'd have every single one of them talk to him. and if he keeps it up slap a restraining order on his ass.that'll keep him hopefully away from you. if it doesn't at least you know he'll be in lockup. don't play around with stalkers. all they want is attention. freeze them out.

lilie

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it is something to hear the words "you're being stalked" from other people. chilling. yes, my friends need to talk to this piece of scum so he at least gets some form of a hint. if he keeps it up then he'll have to talk to the police about his behavior. forcing himself on me in any way isn't right, and isn't legal either i don't think.

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if he keeps it up then he'll have to talk to the police about his behavior. forcing himself on me in any way isn't right, and isn't legal either i don't think.
What I really meant was rape. This guy sounds like he could easily try to do that if you're out walking alone.

Do not walk alone.

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point well taken Libby, but it is so sad that in our safe and peaceful community that I or anyone else would have to worry about something like that. I'll drive from now on, a very sad thing since everything is so close by. I just don't have anyone around to walk with.

btw- this guy likes to hang out here, and his area is about 30 minutes from here. why in the world does he drive all the way over here just to hang out here? isn't there anything to do over there? he's been doing this longer than he's been stalking me so I know it isn't just me.

but he is creepy and dangerous, and it is still creepy to have him anywhere near me or here. i'll be driving alright. and i'll be having my friends have a conversation with him. he probably doesn't understand the female voice.

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Time to get a peace order ( or whatever its called in your town). Show him who's boss!

why isn't he in his neighborhood? probably cuz he acts like this and they all kicked his ass.

seriously, go to the police NOW, not after he does something dangerous. here is why: if he says "but we slept together, how am i to know it's over" you have no ground to stand on legally. if he says that but has the restraining order in his hand, he gets jail time anyway.

the only way you have to prove to a court that you did in fact ask him to back off and he refused is to have an order against him and have him recieve the order (any one can give it to him at the club, btw... doens't have to be a lawyer or police officer - i had a friend go through this just a few months ago). that is the only legal proof anyone can have that he is being too pushy.

it's even an easy process. my friend was in court two separate times. the first one to grant the order (they asked if she felt it was a threat - they agreed he very well could be a threat, they gave her a restraining order); the second time was because he split town so she wasn't able to give it to him and she wanted the restraining order extended just in case.

abifae

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seriously, go to the police NOW, not after he does something dangerous. here is why: if he says "but we slept together, how am i to know it's over" you have no ground to stand on legally. if he says that but has the restraining order in his hand, he gets jail time anyway.
That sounds like very good advice.
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He's stalking you.

Have the bouncer talk to him. Call the police. The stalking laws in this country in this country are next to worthless, but if its on record and anything happens to you they are in BIG fucking trouble.

Don't hesitate to punch him if he makes you feel scarily uncomfortable.

Tell him exactly what you think.

But you have to be careful. They can get violent fast. Don't hesitate to take care of yourself, personally and legally.

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