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All my friends are getting pregnant!


Bernard

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All my friends are getting pregant and it's pissing me off. Actually, it's driving me nuts - it's all I can think about.

I'd like to be pregnant but I can't because 1) I'm on crazy meds and am not allowed, 2) I haven't got a decent, stable job, 3) Husband isn't ready for babies.

So now I'm all envious and stroppy. Envious because I'd like to be pregnant too, stroppy because pregnant people and babies wreck the fun loving life we've cultivated. Selfish I know.

Pregnant and babies mean hassles. Who will we hang out with? No one will have time for anyone else. If we go anywhere as friends, there will be babies and babysitting and all that rubbish involved. It's crap.

<end rant>

Thanks for letting me vent.

Bern

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I can understand being jealous. Is there a way you can channel that energy in to being one hell of an "Auntie"?

In my particular case, I already have kids, but also I love dogs. Dogs are a lot of work and it is a big commitment to own a dog so I don't have one. Plus, I like walking barefoot in my yard without having to worry about stepping in poop. So, to get my "puppy love" fix, I spoil the hell out of my friend's dogs. (I call them my Stepdogs)

People keep saying I need to get a dog since I love them so much, but I know I don't have the time to give them what they need, and I am too selfish to give up my nice yard. So yeah...I buy presents and toys for my stepdogs, babysit when my friends go out of town, and teach them obnoxious tricks when mom & dad aren't looking.

My girlfriend, who has decided to NOT have kids, is the same way with her biological neices and nephews. She spoils them rotten and but then doesn't have to clean up after them. True, kids aren't dogs, but I am sure you understand the principle.

P.S. One of my stepdogs...Coco

http://img246.imageshack.us/img246/305/cocohn0.jpg

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I am so there with you. Only for me it is either pregnant or married or both. This summer I had 1 sister get married, 2 sisters get pregnant, 1 friend get pregnant therefore planning a wedding after the baby comes next April, and another friend getting married in November. And I am the so-called cheese, who is left standing alone. ;) I'm not married or even in a relationship, so I feel even more isolated. Sucks. I am thinking about starting a club for late 20's early 30's women who are single or kid-less or both. I need new people to hang out with.

I personally came to the realization that I don't want to be like those other people - I am cool not being married or a mom. I am just pissed everyone else is. I am focusing on the positive - I have the freedom to explore my life more. I do not have the invisible chains that I wrap around myself when I am in a relationship. I am not sucked into Mom mode, not to be loose for at least 18 years. Once you start the mom thing, you can't stop it. Remember that. Maybe start talking to your doc about a pregnancy plan. Rumor has it there are meds around that are OK for babies.

Hang in there - there are many other in your boat.

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All my friends are getting pregant and it's pissing me off. Actually, it's driving me nuts - it's all I can think about.

I'd like to be pregnant but I can't because 1) I'm on crazy meds and am not allowed, 2) I haven't got a decent, stable job, 3) Husband isn't ready for babies.

So now I'm all envious and stroppy. Envious because I'd like to be pregnant too, stroppy because pregnant people and babies wreck the fun loving life we've cultivated. Selfish I know.

Pregnant and babies mean hassles. Who will we hang out with? No one will have time for anyone else. If we go anywhere as friends, there will be babies and babysitting and all that rubbish involved. It's crap.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Bern

bernard,

i completely understand! EVERY ONE of my girlfriends has either had a baby or two, or is having one within the next few months. i feel so left out...but on a side note i know that i am not ready. baby this, baby that...GAH! i hate it...(how selfish is that...)

ive had a scare as well, though. a few years ago i was told that there was a chance that i may not be able to carry a baby properly due to complications from a medical procedure 2 years ago. im awaiting test results on my cervix from 2 weeks ago and im praying they come back normal. from this, all i want is to have a baby! ugh. its terrible...

all i can say is that youre not alone...

XO

tal

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Thanks folks! It's so nice to know other people feel like I do. Urgh! Babies.

Meanwhile, I think I have convinced my husband that we need to run away overseas again (we spent last year in Canada) and live an adventure life for a while, as I'm too lazy to find new friends and am too selfish to deal with the ones I have!

Meanwhile,

Stinky - Yay BB!! Esp. that episode:

M - What are you eating?

B - I don't know, it's some delicious sort of biscuit.

M - It's a coaster!

Thanks,

Bern

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i've been pregnant twice, both due to manias and during manias. i couldn't keep my pregnancies due to my psychiatric conditions and my medications, so i had abortions both times. yes, i do often wonder about what could have been. it isn't something that keeps me up at night or anything, but i do wonder.

i totally am with you on wanting to have a baby right now. i'm ready at this point. my psychiatric health is there according to my pdoc, and i have a job (well, have had one for 2 weeks, but i feel good about it). i could make it work no matter what. i feel optimistic that if i were pregnant, it would work this time. this time i would have the baby.

it is sick isn't it, watching everyone else be happily married and having babies, while we're single and kidless? oh, i'd love to have a wonderful marriage, beautiful babies, a stable household, and a dog!

i guess for us it isn't to be at this time. let's take stock of what we do have and count it as a blessing. we have relative psychiatric health compared to what we could have, so that is there. we're doing "well" financially compared to what we could be doing, so we have that too.

maybe we'll have babies sooner than we think. i always hear stories about these whirlwind courtships when people get married after 1 date or something and have a baby at 9 months! hey, it COULD happen!

we're still young and able to have children with no problem. we can choose to have children single if we want and if we're financially able to do it. personally, i'm thinking that if i can maintain this job that i might just have a child on my own. it is better than waiting for some guy to decide to grace me with his sperm.

loon

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My friend V's thoughts on the baby matter cheered me, so I thought I'd share:

"As for having babies, I can sort of relate. I've had a couple of friends in the past few years who had kids and turned into what I call Mombies. They suddenly go from being vibrant, intelligent, captivating women with lives and hobbies into being brainless pod-people who are only capable of talking about darling junior. We can't have lunch without the kid being there. Can't have a late dinner on account of the kid. It's two different lifestyles... you either have a kid and the whole ball and chain trap that comes with it, or you don't have a kid and your life is your own..."

sound thoughts from a friend.

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