Jump to content

Hello


Recommended Posts

Hi. I'm Mat. I'm 19 and I'm currently studying physics at university. (If that doesn't make me crazy I don't know what does ;) )

Hobbies: Juggling and playing guitar (I'm trying to teach myself) I waste most of my time on the internet though.

There are a few things I want to talk about here.. I usually avoid talking about the things that bother me and generally try and act as 'normal' as I can, so I haven't been diagnosed with anything in the past. Because of this I don't know how much I'm exaggerating things or.. um.. unexaggerating them. Sometimes I think I am being a hypochondriac.. convincing myself I have some mental disorder so that its not my fault I'm so weird. I have wondered if I have OCD just because I have a slight obsession with cleanliness and wash my hands more than neccesary when I'm feeding my pet snakes, but its hardly ruining my life.

My biggest problem is the hardest for me to talk about, as to me it seems stupid and pathetic. It's related to food, but I don't think its an eating disorder. I'm not aware of any name for it, but if I had to categorize it as anything I'd say it was a phobia. Basically, I'm an extremely picky eater, and it is very difficult for me to try new food. I've had it as long as I can remember. When I was younger I was constantly told I'd just grow out of it and eventually my parents gave up and ignored it. As a result of this I eat hardly any proper food and I've always been underweight. I avoid eating with other people and make excuses to get out of situations where I'd have to eat. When I do try something I don't like I get very nervous and sometimes the food will make me gag. It's not just the taste I have a problem with, as I don't have any problem with drinks I don't like. It's partly the texture but I think a lot of it is just in my head. The only information I've found on this is here.

I am still living at home mainly because I didn't think I could cope with living with other people when I applied for uni. At home I just stay in my room most of the time because I can't stand being around my dad or his girlfriend. My mum died when I was 16 and I have never been close to my dad. We hardly talk at all and ignore each other most of the time. I really hate him sometimes and want to blame him for everything that's wrong with my life. I get so angry over stupid little things (why don't I have a comfartable chair he is ruining my life!!) and just because he is such a useless parent.

I'm shy around people I don't know, although not as bad as I used to be, but fine with my friends. I have very low self confidence though. I also tend to overanalyse everything and have trouble forgetting about situations where I have said something stupid or felt I've embarassed myself.

Sometimes I just feel crap for no reason, have difficulty getting out of bed and doing anything, but other days I'll be fine. I have trouble keeping a consistent sleep pattern. I don't know whether I'm actually depressed or if this is just a result of my diet and lack of exercise.

Sometimes I feel like I'm just being a whiney bitch.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Mat,

Are you under the care of a therapist of psychiatrist? Your symptoms, if you want to call them that, seem relatively fitting for this place. Stick around for awhile! You'll find others who share your same interesting personality characteristics--wow, studying physics! I'm impressed by that. And the eating thing, I would say if what you eat works for you then the rest of people with comments can bugger off. Eating is a personal thing.

Anyhoo, welcome!

S9

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks :)

No, I've never seen anyone before. I've thought about seeing a therapist or something (I'm not really sure where I would go) but I don't know how easy it would be for me to talk to a stranger about stuff.

Unfortunately what I eat doesn't work for me. It's unhealthy and it interferes with my social life quite a lot. ;) It's not like theres just a few things I can't eat - I can't eat most things.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Mat I am kinda new too..I do not know what the eating issue is I would GUESS it is more of a phobia maybe a kind of OCD but I am not a doc...At university you can see a T usually for free check into it if nothing more than to get a label so you can read more on this. I AM usually a people person but get in moods where I cannot stand them, and I then isolate

Link to comment
Share on other sites

welcome mat!

does your school have a counseling center or something that you might be able to visit? if they do, it could prove to be extremely helpful.

have you ever spoken to your general physician about your eating issues? if you don't already, you might want to consider taking a multi-vitamin to lower the risk of malnutrition.

sorry this is very rough and short. i saw your post and wanted to stop by and say hi, but i also have lots of work to do (damn you, college, damn you!)...

be well

~Ophelia~

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I remember being taken to a doctor when I was quite young and being told that it wouldn't affect my growth or anything like that. I've been taking multivitamin and iron tablets for ages too.

I'll see what there is at my university when term starts again. I remember being told about people to go to about various problems when I started but I didn't pay much attention at the time. I'm not very good at talking about personal things.. ;)

Thanks everyone for all the welcomes and stuff! I haven't explored the site much yet but I'll stick around even if I don't post that much. (I'm shy even on the internet)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...