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Holidays Suck


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Maybe its me ... but since it is a holiday today and even more so then normal days i am very on edge cause everyone is all outside gathering its all loud everyone is partying ... it makes ya just wanna toss the blanket over your head and hide the other half of you wants to run outside with a bat swinging..

I dunno maybe i am the only one but come holiday times thats when i am even more so on edge..cause ya have families and they want ya to come over but ya dont really wanna be around the crowd cause ya know there all thinkin

Oh gawd the crazy kid had to show up... why couldnt he just stay home..

So in refence i would much rather hide under my blanket and waste the day away flippin the channels..

anyone else feel like on holidays your panic or your moods swing harder and faster then normal days due to the excitement..

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Wow--have you been spying in my bedrom window? No of cvourse not, I put blankets over all the windows this AM when I went back to bed with channel flipper in hand, iced coffee nearby, and the door SHUT tight so my husband wouldn't come in.

I hate holidays--and I hate that I do, because I come from a family that celebrated everything. Now, I live with a man who has not even bought me a birthday card in about years. There is never any celebration or feeling special, at any time, like when I was growing up. I try still to do that for my kids, but no one does it for me.

And other holidays--my mom would celebrate any holiday she could find. I celebrate being able to get out of bed for 5 minutes to pee. Great life.

Is it time for meds? Not that they help--I despise my life, to the depths of my soul I hate the way I live, I loathe my life in general.

I used to be china--

Back to bed now, I think its time to change the channel.

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Yea i have sheets over my windows to let no light come in i have remote in hand blanket over me sittin on the couch counting the seconds till the holiday craze is over then everyone will go back to there homes..

---other then that

i wish it was friday !

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my grandparents asked me to go out to dinner with them today, and i HAD to go because i needed to borrow rent money from them. if it weren't for that terrible necessity (money kind of does that), i'd have stayed home in bed all day. i hate it when other people around me party and i just sit here like some degenerate, maybe drinking (on my meds!) and maybe not, just pondering what i'm going to do with these cats that used to belong to my dad and hoping i can keep this job i have.

life is life.

before my dad died i used to be loon and love holidays. since he died i've been a shell. blame it on him!

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Hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, kiddies, but it IS tomorrow, and its not one fucking bit better.

And did anyone know that the IRS uses the music from the :Nutcracker Suite" as their music while you are on endless hold? Why don't they just scrape fingers dwon a blackboard over and over and make it easier?

And I actually got out of bed for that--

still no china in site

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