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I'm losing it


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I'm totally losing it today. Woke up with horrible panic and it hasn't really gone away. I've already taken 4mg of klonopin, which is getting me through work, but it's not really cutting it completely. What scares me most is an episode while driving today. At every red light I stopped at I would get dizzy and start to see stars like I was going to pass out..leading me to be afraid of driving, which would cripple me. I can't go on like this, I'm going to go to the ER tonight. I'm scared to though, last time I went I ended up in the psych ward for 3 days involuntarily. I really need help and don't know what to do, anybody have any bright ideas?

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Poor you, that sounds terrible.

Is it possible for you to take a taxi home? Public transportation? It sounds like driving might be too dangerous.

As far as the hospital, you don't sound suicidal so I don't see why they would keep you, but I understand the fear. Can you get an emergency appointment with your pdoc instead?

How about calling in sick for a couple of days while you sort it all out?

Dee

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I wish I could afford a taxi but unfortunately I will have to hit the roads again. I'm going to stick to side streets where I can pull over and panic if necessary. Tomorrow I'll try to find a friend to give me a ride to work. Unfortunately I can't call in sick anymore, I'm out of sick days for the year already and they won't let me have any more days off. And I really need the money. You're right, as long as I'm not suicidal and don't tell them anything of the sort I might get lucky and get some meds. I am switching pdoc's right now, my current one is an ass and I swear he's trying to kill me, and I have that first appt. on the 11th so I just need to make it until then. I guess I'll just suck it up and go into the ER after work tonight, if I make it that long.

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for what it is worth right now, and i know it may be late, i agree with dee. i'm always in favor of the ER when there is any doubt. that's why they're there. they have to give you emergency treatment. if you're between pdocs, have no treatment, and can't drive/are incapacitated and have a history of hospitalization, there is a chance they'll want to observe you at least.

good luck with this. i hope they observe you, treat you, and release you as soon as you're ready!

loon

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Well I managed to drive home for my dinner break and back to work ok, no pass-out attacks behind the wheel. Now I just have to make it through the rest of my shift and it's straight to the ER. I'm afraid I'll be there all night being memorial day weekend and all, but what can ya do. I tried to eat but I ended up throwing it up in the parking lot getting into my car. Nobody should have to live like this. I know it's a mix of my GAD and some dysphoric mania. My last pdoc (the crazy one) pulled me off 15mg of zyprexa cold turkey and I've been manic since. I guess this is my crash. Should have known better and seen it coming. I feel stupid. I guess that's the insight that 3mg of klonopin so far has given me. If I could just get a week script of zyprexa or seroquel I'd be happy. Thanks for your replies, posting on here and having people there helps and makes me feel a little connected to something and not like I'm free-falling.

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Well I survived the newscast and I'm off to the ER. Wish me luck, hope I don't get admitted. I take my klonopin, either .5 or 1mg right when I wake up, depending on anxiety levels of the morning. Then I take it in .5 or 1mg doses every 4 or 5 hours throughout the day. Takes an hour to kick in and sometimes (like today) I can take 1mg, then take .5 a half hour later, and feel nothing. Guess it's because I've been on it for so long. Anyway, I'm off...hope for the best.

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I am truly sorry to hear about what you've been going through. I hope that the docs at the ER will not admit you. Hopefully they will understand that since you've had to switch PDocs maybe they can give you some sample packs until then. I am not sure of what the medicines are that you are taking, if they are controlled substances because here they don't have "samples" for those, only the anti-depressents and stuff like that. I am really hoping everything turns out alright and you didn't get admitted. I know some ER docs can be jerks and just send you away involuntarily because I feel like they don't want to deal with people like us who are suffering from disorders like these. Please update us and let us know how you are doing. Good luck with the new PDoc. Hopefully he/she doesn't turn into a jerk like you're old one was to you. People like them should'nt have there license to practice anymore. It could seriously harm a person and make them feel the way that you are feeling now, and after reading what you've been going through just pissed me off at how inconsiderate they can be. I wish you all the best and just hope and pray that everything works out for you.

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I just got home from the ER. YUMMM...15mg zyprexa injection. I feel GOOD now. They gave me enough to get me through to my pdoc appt. on the 11th. I feel totally relieved. All those fears of being admitted and what not were for nothing, which is usually the case I guess. They were really nice to me and the lady who did the psych. evaluation asked me crazy questions that made me laugh. On the right meds I do just fine. They know the new doctor I'm going to see (it's a small town here) and say he's really nice and good. So I'm hopeful. Lets just hope I wake up tomorrow and keep the same positive attitude. Thank you all for your posts and reponses, I don't have a support system here, it's just me, and having a place like this to go for help and advice is really great. I made it through one hell of a day and hopefully the rest of the week won't be so hard. Thanks again guys, really. Time to sleep, FINALLY!!!!!

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