Depression never ends

[Vivi]

Hi,

I haven't posted to this site before, but I thought I should start. I've been depressed as long as I can remember. I've on meds for about 14 years. I have found a balance that at least gets me to function somewhat! However, most of the time I feel like "what's the point (in life)?"

This and other medical problems have ruined my life. All I can do is just survive from minute to minute sometimes.

I go to a support group twice a month but it's not enough. I live in the UK so there's a 2 year waiting list for a therapist. Anyhow 10 years of that didn't fix me when I lived in the US.

Any suggestions to answer that "I'm a waste of space" stuff and turn it around?

V

[Libby]

Glad to see you're posting. A lot of support can be had here.

I have the same situation with depression. I've been on meds for 23 years, and I still feel depressed. It's a lot more manageable now, but I still have "what's the point" feelings all the time.

So, just want you to know that you're not alone.

[Vivi]

Thanks Libby. It's so nice to be able to hear that someone has the same kind of depression I do. What do you do when you get those "what's the point feelings"?

V

[Libby]

I wish I had an answer for you. I kind of have those feelings right now. I sit around and wonder how we could tweak my meds and get me out of this feeling. I don't really have a useful answer for you, because so far, nothing has worked. Even when I'm having a "good" day, I'm still depressed.

Let me know if you find a trick that I haven't tried yet! lol. I would like to talk to you more about this. It's really rare to find anyone who is always depressed, no matter what. Other people don't "get it." They're lucky that they don't I suppose.

[lemonflavor]

It's really rare to find anyone who is always depressed, no matter what.

That would be me. Even when I was cycling into hypomania because of Risperdal there was depression there. I don't know normal.

[Loon-A-TiK]

i'm bipolar, so when it comes to depression, i don't know how much good i'm going to be. i'm going to pull out the recommended treatments for bipolar depression, which may or may not be of good service to depressed people.

but some of these ideas are put into general practice with depressed people and obtain good results.

many depressed people take mood stabilizers such as lithium and lamictal. i've heard of good results from those. the mood stabilizers seem to increase the potency of the ADs.

do you like lexapro? i thought paxil was much stronger, if you haven't tried paxil, think it over. it is a stronger relative of lexapro. my pdoc switched me from paxil to lexapro for various reasons and i missed the power and potency of paxil. strong stuff! it can conquer all!

there are also atypical antipsychotics. powerful meds for powerful problems. several of our depressed members (libby too i believe) take these. they're worth looking into.

there's my bipolar-person run-down of the ways bp depression is treated, and how i have seen regular depression treated with bp methods. i hope maybe something here is something you can talk about with your pdoc.

loon

[Libby]

Even with Cymbalta and Seroquel, I'm still depressed. I'm less depressed though, in all fairness. I only get suicidal occasionally instead of a relentless torrent of "kill myself" in my head.

[Libby]

Hi, Vivi.

Your symptoms that you mentioned in PM sound a little bit like bipolar. Maybe you're bipolar2. Are you on a mood stabilizer?

I do make myself go out and meet people. In fact, I have a party to go to tonight. Once I'm there, I'm usually a nervous wreck and try to fake it. Even when I "have fun," I'm still depressed.

(This is what I PM'ed you that didn't go through.)

[Vivi]

Not been diagnosed with it but my best friend thinks I am as she has it. She is med resistant poor thing.

V

[Loon-A-TiK]

for sure then, talk to your pdoc about that possibility! bp2 is a totally different ballgame. lamictal is a drug people either love or hate- if you are a lamictal lover, it could save you from tons of agony and misery

[ldo]

I don't know about "turning it around", but I used to have negative thoughts so intrusive that I'd say them out loud. I suppose I still do, rarely. I found it very useful to talk back to them, even out loud if I was alone.

You can promise yourself that, even if you feel like crap, you're going to take care of yourself. Maybe set some minimum standard you think you can handle. Things like eating right, getting exercise, going to bed at an earlier hour than the one at which I'm writing this, etc. Maybe eat a lot of fish or take fish oil.

I felt down for many years, but not quite that down. I've been that low at times. Hope you're not there indefinitely. Meds are improving, or at least there are some new antidepressants coming along.

[celestia]

Hi Vivi,

Welcome, glad you're posting. This web haven has been a life saver for me. I have major depressive disorder, but I also have dysthymia which is the low-level, garden variety, blah of which you speak. I have lived with this plague since childhood, which was extremely wretched. nuff said. I've been in therapy for a long time for years at a time. And it's been the most helpful when, as is the case now, I am living a relatively healthy lifestyle (i.e., no abuse of drugs/alcohol, which I have done tons of in the past), anti-depressant is on the job (Effexor), and my therapist and I are making some good headway on the vacuous soul thingee.

I can't say I'm not depressed, I am, but I also have physical illnesses that depress me and anyone. Some are being fixed, some I just have to live with.

I feel more peace about "shit happens" these days, more mellow, mabye numb, hard to tell. Effexor seems to flatten my emotions, which for now is ok.

Keep hangin' around with us and get on the list for a therapist, even if it is hideously long, if your still depressed when your number comes up, maybe you'll get lucky like i did this time a catch one that can actually help you breakthrough some of your barriers to feeling pleasure, joy, all those foreign emotions to us sadsacks.

S9