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OK - so I've been lurking for a while now - I guess other folks probably have alot of trouble getting started posting, too. Anyways - I started therapy last May, and I've been taking an SSRI for about 6 months now. I guess that I was a quiet, lonely kid who grew up to be a quiet, lonely adult ... One of the pages that I found on the net describes AvPDs as "lonely losers" -- that sums me up pretty well. I was a self-mutilator/cutter as a teenager ... As I've gotten older, that's changed to things like pinching, punching, and insulting/deriding myself in front of the mirror. I guess that my self loathing is pretty intense at times. The main things that drove me to talk to a doctor (I had wanted to talk to a doc for several years) were that the isolation was getting worse and worse, more and more difficult to bear, and that my anxiety levels were getting worse and worse as well. The lexa has calmed me down a fair amount. Anyways ... I'm just trying to open up my world a little bit and start to make some connections.

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