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Time to Replace The Boyfriend?


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hiya-

is this some great sin, or forgiveable? i just don't understand why my clean, well-kept but less-than-wealthy house isn't good enough for him. sure, i make about 20k a year (only working 1/2 the year due to being bipolar) and not the 65k he makes, but come on! i work hard for what i have! he isn't supposed to judge!

i've even thought of moving to make him happy, so he'll be prouder of where i live and come in my house.

should i just dump my boyfriend any not my dwellings? it isn't like my dwellings will be my forever pad anyway, but neither will he be my forever love.

i'm just sick of his attitude.

maybe if i shared this with him...but it would "depress" him to come into my apartment!

HELP!!!

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If he won't even go in your apartment after 4 years of seeing you.

He is a loser!!!!!!

I have learned good from Bad.................I know if someone is really into you and loves you the will walk miles to see you.

Where Ever and When Ever.

Nothing stops love or when a guy is truly into you!!!!! *NOTHING*

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i make excuses for him based on his mental health, like 'it will depress him'. but why? wouldn't he be proud of me that i'm supporting myself somehow and not living at home? and that i'm not in the hospital right now?

why do i tolerate these losers...that is a great question. he and i need to have a serious talk about the apartment thing. after i make sure it is the cleanest it has ever been before, in case i do convince him to come over lol

but i shouldn't have to. my place should be able to be a total wreck and he shouldn't care.

i answer my own questions constantly. why do i put up with jerks? the universal question...

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oh, yeah, it also depresses him when i'm fired or have financial problems, or have to eat veggies from cans for weeks (from food banks) because i'm so poor, but he doesn't help me. that's how depressed he gets over it. he claims he can't do anything about it. obviously this isn't true.

my mom says i need to be more assertive and speak up for myself to him and not be his doormat. i'm thinking i should just move on. 4 years is enough time to spend wtih someone who is either to dysfunctional to see his own dysfunction, or who really doesn't care. i think it just be a combination of the two . i'm not sure. his mind is just a mystery to me.

if i knew, i'd do something about it!

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Yeah, that "it depresses me" thing is bullshit. There's no truth in that. There's no way your apartment can be that depressing. My apartment isn't that depressing and it has no sitting furniture except for a plastic chair right now! He can fuckin' get over it or get out, as far as I'm concerned.

4 years is a long time. If you've spent four years with (or "with") someone, they should be willing to come see you wherever (feasible). There is no way that should matter.

This is completely his dysfunction. And if it's making you feel bad (which it clearly is) he needs to do something about it or you need to go. Because it doesn't sound like he does a lot of making you happy- just a lot of pissing and moaning and being a little bitch, really. "I'm so sorry you're eating canned vegetables while I sit in my house which is FULL OF FOOD but sorry I can't do anything for you" is bullshit.

I'm sorry if this comes out really harshly or mean. I don't mean to pass any judgement on you (lord knows I am involved with some stupid mean fucking men). But it doesn't sound like you're getting much from this. I think you're right when you say it's time to move on.

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Yeah, that "it depresses me" thing is bullshit. There's no truth in that. There's no way your apartment can be that depressing. My apartment isn't that depressing and it has no sitting furniture except for a plastic chair right now! He can fuckin' get over it or get out, as far as I'm concerned.

4 years is a long time. If you've spent four years with (or "with") someone, they should be willing to come see you wherever (feasible). There is no way that should matter.

This is completely his dysfunction. And if it's making you feel bad (which it clearly is) he needs to do something about it or you need to go. Because it doesn't sound like he does a lot of making you happy- just a lot of pissing and moaning and being a little bitch, really. "I'm so sorry you're eating canned vegetables while I sit in my house which is FULL OF FOOD but sorry I can't do anything for you" is bullshit.

I'm sorry if this comes out really harshly or mean. I don't mean to pass any judgement on you (lord knows I am involved with some stupid mean fucking men). But it doesn't sound like you're getting much from this. I think you're right when you say it's time to move on.

Perfect and staight to the point!

why can't I say stuff like this ;)

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Guys dont really care how much money a girl has. We pay for stuff most of the time anyway. Its nice when a girl chips in but i dont think that's the issue here. He is just being a tool. Find yourself a nice boy who will bang you for who you are.

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HA!! you guys all make me laugh so hard! it is totally his dysfunction, but why am i allowing it to be mine?

it sounds like he's ashamed of me...

every time i bring up that conversation, he accuses me of "starting things" and our "communication" breaks down. he thinks, or says he thinks, that i'm being mental and unreasonable when i try to ask him if and why he's ashamed of me.

i need someone to bang me for who i am and not for what kind of money i bring home, especially these days! lol

he depresses ME

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