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my new pdoc said i've never been depressed


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he tells me i've never been depressed. since i don't burst out crying all the time.

- but i don't cry. i was raised, beaten & trained to never cry. so i rarely do.

he doesn't think my suicidal ideation is real because i don't have a car and i mentioned going via carbon monoxide (ever heard of gas ovens, or car rentals, dumbass?)

then he tells me i'm "not bipolar..er...maybe bipolar." we somehow talk about dbt, and since i already know it was created for borderlines, i say that i can relate to some bpd traits (i don't say i think i am bpd). he asks me to name the traits i relate to. after a pause to ponder, i name one. on this basis, he now thinks i'm in the running for bipolar or borderline or nothing (does he have any original ideas 'cept for "nothing").

i am disgusted because the "nothing" is tempting but is coming from a suspect character. And I am pretty stymied cuz he was passed on to me by this center, and i could plead for another pdoc, but you know how loyal they are to each other. plus they are residents in a structured program.

i could go back to quack and get off the med heavy hitters--hey, i'm not bipolar anymore, whee

one good thing i'll say for him is he lavished 1.5 hrs on me. 1.5 semi-insulting hrs.

thanks in advance for your thoughts.

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Can the idiot. If he cannot except as real your suicidal ideation, then what good is he going to be to you if you find yourself in trouble? I have followed your post seven, your response to meds alone should be enough of an indicator for him of your dx.

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i'm bipolar and i don't burst into tears all the time. sometimes, but not all the time. that doesn't mean i'm borderline because i don't cry all the time! and don't borderline patients cry too? i don't think crying or not crying is a symptom of having borderline disorder or bipolar disorder!

i'd say you're seeing a wanna-be and the best bet is to change, and explain to this new person that you do respond to your bipolar meds, that you have psychological reasons for not crying, and that crying is not a part of the differentiation between borderline and bipolar disorder. find someone who is intelligent enough to understand these points.

why is it that we see all these weirdo pdocs running around and it seems like us crazy people over here are more normal than they are?

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thanks glen and loon,

it seems like a no-brainer, right? but my god! finding a pdoc that isn't whacked out is so hard. And it gets so that I don't know if I'm being too demanding, or not understanding the professional process, or something. you know? you start to criticize yourself for being too quick to judge.

This guy has the most prestigious degrees and is a 2nd year resident at a very prestigious place. and if it weren't for the bp record/meds and my passing comment on bpd, he would pronounce me mildly situationally depressed, go do some yoga. (my words, being sarcastic) But, he did tell me "...there's nothing wrong with you. Granted, I'm seeing you partially medicated." Partially? 1200 mg of lithium is not enough? Do I have to be vomiting?

I've been struggling very hard with this for 1.5 months. ..Thanks for reinforcing my judgement on this. Like I said, it can be hard to tell if one just isn't understanding the situation correctly. I think what he did are freshmen mistakes. And I'm not going to be his vanity conquest.

regards,

7

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I agree with everyone here. Sounds like an ignorant, pompous ass. I know it's easy to feel/wonder if you're being too demanding. Part of the whole problem is that WE'RE supposed to be the whacked ones in the equation, so when THEY seem suspect, it throws us.

But there is a good, kind, compassionate doc out there for you! Perhaps this guy flattered you with 1.5 hours because he has so few other patients?

lily

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But there is a good, kind, compassionate doc out there for you! Perhaps this guy flattered you with 1.5 hours because he has so few other patients?

lily

actually, there's a month or 2 waitlist at the center. At one point, he stepped out to make sure no one was waiting for him. Pdoc visits are usually about 30 min. or less. So, I guess the 1.5 hrs made me wonder if he cares alot and just needs some guidance from me. But I get excessive and neurotic when I start to tutor docs (been there, i deserve an honorary degree).

...another factor. I want a woman. I've never had a female pdoc tell me I'm a looker. This is the 2nd male doc who's told me I'm attractive. Both times in the context of I've got what it takes to make it.

Makes me wonder if there isn't a gender bias in how they see and diagnose you.

thanks y'all for your encouraging words. I feel better about making the diplomatic call to switch docs.

;)

7

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I dunno seven, from your avatar I probably wouldn't tell you you're much of a looker. No offense or anything, but maybe he's just saying that to be nice?

baw haw haw!

I don't know about male docs and the good-looking bit--the ones I've had never said that straight-out. But the female docs I've had have said that to me.

At any rate, if you're uncomfortable it'll be hard to make progress. If you've gotta tutor the guy, it'll be hard to feel you're getting much from the sessions, eh? Plus he should be paying you!

Good luck. I'm sure there's a more suitable doc out there!

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Hi Seven,

Nice thread, very good topic.

This post is really about me...not for you... but I don't spend, and have never spent time (more than 30 seconds) discussing the dsm diagnosis with a pdoc. Like, I don't really care, or they don't care, I want them to help with my symptoms. Mostly we do meds talking, I try to be accurate about what's been going on, how I've been feeling...Of course I care about my dx...but I REALLY need for whatever symptoms to be right out there and the meds, the dosing & what happens...

Good luck finding someone you respect/trust. The younger ones seem to know meds pretty well; the older ones do too...at least for me. (I've liked it when I've gone to two and gotten the same medication recommendation...could have been they both just had the drug reps come by...but...it helped.)

I'm sorta vanilla flavored depression/anxiety, the depression part of which does have a cycle of some kind...few times a year despite meds just sink like a huge stone...

Best wishes to you!

Luli

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...another factor. I want a woman. I've never had a female pdoc tell me I'm a looker. This is the 2nd male doc who's told me I'm attractive. Both times in the context of I've got what it takes to make it.

Makes me wonder if there isn't a gender bias in how they see and diagnose you.

;)

7

Now I know you are crazy. I have your picture and you are not a looker. You barely have any hair!

steewie2.jpg

Seriously, your appearance and togetherness may prove to be an impetus for bias. How to get around that is difficult.

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Now look here you miserable miscreants. They don't call me babe for nothing!

;)

That's better, though your head is still somewhat large.

Back on topic: The idea of participating in DBT is something that is worth investigating. IIRC there is some reference to using it for those with BD. I ca't remember if it was on Pub-med or a clinical trail though. That being said, you seem to have a good head on your shoulders (no pun intended) so the utility of DBT for you may not great. Again to reiterate what I was saying before, I do find that there is some potential for problems with your current pdoc. If you become episodic again, can you trust his opinions towards meds? By the sounds of it, no. Now is the time to find a doctor who is on the same page as you, not when acute!

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Personally, I think the idiot doc is a genius--he's managed to cure ALL of us!!!! All you gotta doi, apparently, is tell your "patient" he isn';t crazy, and poof--its so!!!

Sign me up--would be cheaper than the co-pay on the meds.

P.S. Has anyone else flown on a commercial airline since all this went down in London? You have to carry ALL your meds, in the orginal bottles with your name on them. I filled 2 big zip-locks. The screener sure gives you an interesting look, cause they check them all. I think it scares them to find out one person is on that many meds--

china

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...another factor. I want a woman. I've never had a female pdoc tell me I'm a looker. This is the 2nd male doc who's told me I'm attractive. Both times in the context of I've got what it takes to make it.

This reminds me of the old "Pull up your bootstraps" kind of therapy..You are good looking therefore you can't be all that MI?? Or better yet..you're good looking so you have a greater responsibility to make it..because " You have what it takes"..Yeah..get rid of this guy..I don't care HOW many degrees he has..

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Look for another pdoc. This guy's an idiot. I especially like how he says you've never been depressed, but says you might be bipolar. Yeah, sure there are people who are purely manic, but they're extremely rare, and if you and the doctor don't think you've been hypomanic or manic, and the doctor refuses to believe you've ever been depressed, I'd love to know how he's coming up with "possibly bipolar" for a person who he doesn't believe has ever been depressed or hypomanic.

Doctors who tell you that you've never been depressed suck. I know, because I have had two of them this year. How can they give you the definitive truth on the way you feel, especially if they ignore you when you try to tell them?

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the good looking comment is very funny- i've never had a single p or t doc tell me that, though they all ask me how old i am and tell me i look young (is this their way of complimenting me? i never get asked for my ID anymore!).

for sure, you need to get on the right page with someone now, before you get into an episode. get someone you trust who doesn't need your expert medical opinions. i hate it when that happens- happened to me at planned parenthood the other day when my nurse did NOT KNOW that the Pill and AC drugs are a bad combo- i had to educate her on it and i was just saddened by it.

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