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weird food habits


abifae

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i was looking at the foodpsychology website posted somewhere around here... and it made me laugh, because i have sooo many weird food habits.

i used to be anorexic. i was six foot and 110 pounds at one point. now i am between 155 and 160. i know this, because i still tape measure myself weekly and check my weight at the gym several times a week. sighs. i am finally eating healthy, balanced diet... i like my body, i'm pleased with its weight... and yet...

i still only put food onto a plate that matches in size (little snacks... little plate)

i refuse to get full. being full means i can't run away and i panick and then i really DO stop eating so that i won't ever be trapped. so i only eat really small meals. which is why i eat about ten meals a day lol.

only certain foods are allowed to touch each other on my plate. mashed potatoes and gravy can go near any meat... but nothing better touch my salad. it has to have its own bowl to insure its sanctity.

i have to get the taste of food out of my mouth quickly. sometimes i won't stop eating until i can brush my teeth, but once i brush my teeth, i can stop. so if i'm having a munching day, i just keep my teeth brushed and i stop craving food. i don't know why that is. i'm weird.

i have to eat my food in the right order. i hate finishing all of the veggies and having too much meat left. or vice versa. i have to finish it all at about the same time.

if i am done eating, or getting full, the food better be gone NOW. in a box, put away in the fridge, anywhere but where i can see it.

how about anyone else? does everyone have really strict rules around food, even if they manage to eat healthy and NOT mind their weight? does that still make it disordered eating, or am i past eating disorder into exceedingly ORDERED eating?

sometimes i think i don't have an eating disorder anymore because i'm happy with my size and i'm sensible about excercise and food. but i'm also constantly noticing my weight. i don't get upset about it often (unless i decide i'm bloated lol. then i freak) and it doesn't effect whether or not i like myself (even when i'm bloated). and i notice everyone else's weight. that just doesn't seem quite healthy. i would think if i were really past my eating disorder, i wouldn't really notice size so much anymore.

abifae

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Part of it may be residual ED...and part of that could just be autism.

Max is VERY picky about certain foods...maybe is the texture....who knows.

And when I was a kid, I would have a TOTAL meltdown if my food touched...and I am supposedly "normal".

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i only started noticing i even DO it a couple months ago... and i thought "but i'm eating well, and not stressing out over my size at all, i even LIKE my size..." so it was pretty confusing.

so being more an autistic thing (my ocd is definitely autistic like hehehehe), that makes sense. it was hurting my head trying to figure out why i do it.

lol, the other day, i was walking around and i saw this reflection in a store window, and i thought, there's a hot chick behind me, so i turned to ogle her. then i realized there was no one else. i was looking at ME. and all i could think was, "that was ME??" rofl. sometimes i don't think i know what i look like at all.

abifae

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