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SO dropped the bomb


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:) First off I only spottily remember most of my life. Secondly, I'm really uncomfortable talking about having voices chattering on and on inside my head. It's awkward to even talk to my SO of 18 years. The external hallucinations make him uncomfortable, so we usually don't talk about it even though he says its ok. I don't feel comfortable with it and he gets all quiet. Last night we were trying to piece together my past as best we could and all of a sudden he says "This is the third childhood you've described to me over the years, which one is real? are any of them real?" and then he described the two other possible childhoods. I'm sitting there with my mouth hanging open and nothing to say, to my knowledge, he has never mentioned any of this before

I have absolutely no memory of talking about any other childhoods with him or any one else for that matter. All I remeber is the broken peices of the one that I "remember" now. Finding records 40 odd years back is nearly impossible, since, I don't know which of my "memories" to believe. So now I'm in search of my "real" childhood and teen years. I don't have any family to ask. So just when I thought that my life couldn't get weirder, it got weirder in spades... :cussing: I guess it really doesn't matter, but I don't like having false memories dancing around my brain and me then spacing them out and adding new ones. Tdoc says it's pretty normal for crackers like me to have fake memories, the mind detests a vacuume and makes shit up to fill in the blanks.

cool...I guess.

maybe I should just write all this crap up and try to get my own TV show ;)

no one has to answer this, I just had to spit it out somewhere and CB is my home away from home these days

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  • 2 weeks later...

don't know if this helps or not, but even though some of your memories may not be real (or they could be...they could really be several sets from different viewpoints) *you* are still very real. you're still a person.

but damn, i bet all this is sooo confusing. you have my sympathies..

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