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terminal hypochondriasis


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Cause of death I feel won't be this hypothetical cancer I might have... it'll probably be Terminal Hypochondria instead. ;)

(sorry for threadjacking)

I think so too. I didn't believe this cancer thing from start :)

Not that I want to really laugh or anything. Some people ARE really sick and don't know what's going on with them and try to find a proper diagnosis and constantly misdiagnose themselves in the process. That's what made me stop obsessing and worrying about what I should really be diagnosed with and what my prognosis is etc. The stress alone would harm me more than lack of proper diagnosis.

Researchers still don't know what causes chronic fatigue syndrome and what it really is. Some are suspecting immune system, some are suspecting HPA axis, but they can't even figure out how it's broken (hyperactive vs hypoactive, they don't seem to agree).

Which doesn't mean you should stop searching. It only means that you need to stop finding.

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herpie--

hehehehehehe.

Only reasons I was thinking cancer are that

1) there's a spreading tumor involved (past few weeks has gone from my throat upwards into a lower salivary gland, and

2) I have mild (and new!) blood issues --- neutropenia, thrombocytopenia, and anemia, and

3) I have on and off weeklong episodes of low-grade fever, and

4) Said blood issues were actually discovered before said fever started, and

5) None of this is due to vitamin/mineral deficiency, as per blood tests those are very healthy.

hehehehehehehe I said penia. (my mother and I, who both have immature sense of humor, mainly of the toilet variety, find this term absolutely hilarious.)

Anyways, neutropenia is a lack of neutrophils, the white blood cells that engulf infectious particles and help destroy them. Thrombocyopenia is a lack of platelets, and this results in slower blood clotting. Anemia is of course a lack of red blood cells (or RBC activity due to iron deficiency).

Interestingly, I'm often coming off as obsessive and panicking about this whole situation. In reality, I find it quite fascinating (remember I'm a scientist by trade). I do believe a good part of my attitude is that I'm quite jaded by bipolar disorder and my ;) 5 "attempts", if you will, from 1993-2003.

Anyways, let's get back to Apterix's concerns, this thread is about hers and not mine.

--fous

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1) there's a spreading tumor involved (past few weeks has gone from my throat upwards into a lower salivary gland, and

Are you sure it's a tumor and not, for example, globus? I had a sense of a solid in my throat for weeks, and it turned out to be caused by anxiety - it passed after hypochondriac scare subsided.

2) I have mild (and new!) blood issues --- neutropenia, thrombocytopenia, and anemia, and
Well, that would point to bone marrow suppression, which isn't unlikely, given meds and all.

3) I have on and off weeklong episodes of low-grade fever, and

That may point to a minor infection or some inflammatory process or whatever. It isn't a rare finding. In fact, a few years ago I had low-grade fever some days and not others. Now I have below-average body temperature.

5) None of this is due to vitamin/mineral deficiency, as per blood tests those are very healthy.
Still, not enough to diagnose cancer. Those are all non-specific as hell.

Anyways, neutropenia is a lack of neutrophils, the white blood cells that engulf infectious particles and help destroy them. Thrombocyopenia is a lack of platelets, and this results in slower blood clotting. Anemia is of course a lack of red blood cells (or RBC activity due to iron deficiency).

Well, as you probably figured out, I already know what those are - I read all about them during my AIDS scare days (in fact, I made a CBC every week or so, and charted the results). Oh well. Being asperger-ish and anxious and having enough money to order needless medical tests all don't mix well.

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Interestingly, the throat and salivary gland swellings both showed up on the CT scan (the throat tumor on a scan 3 weeks ago, and then both of them together on a scan last week). The doctor also saw both through a laryngoscopic exam. Also, the throat tumor is making prodigious amounts of mucus, which is making me hawk about every 10 seconds. Quite annoying this is.

I am having surgery to have the throat tumor removed 2 weeks from today (which makes it 10/2), and the salivary gland will at the very least be biopsied at that time. Obviously, the throat tumor is going under the microscope once it gets taken out.

Obviously, I personally cannot rule out anything infectious. As you said, they notoriously mimic the blood cancers.

The bone marrow suppression is new (though perhaps there is a difference between 12 months on a med cocktail and 18 months on it? My meds haven't changed for a long time).

Interestingly, I'm having an AIDS scare of my own at the moment. I received a blood transfusion in 1984 as part of my open-heart surgery, and the WHO somehow considers blood transfusions from 1978-1985 "critical risk" [relatively, I assume] for HIV transmission, as that's the period between the supposed simian-humah species jump (1978) and the beginning of blood bank HIV scanning (1985).

I got an HIV test drawn on Thursday, and I was told I'd know by this Friday, if not earlier. Interestingly (I don't know if this is good or bad), I'll be with my parents in Indiana at the time, visiting. Also interestingly, I repeatedly asked my mother (since I learned of the risk in 1998) to get me tested for HIV, and she told me to "stop worrying about that". Note that she's an idiot and I no longer listen to her.

Then again, AIDS maybe is excluded by the INDY (I'm Not Dead Yet) condition. ;)

no really, I could go for a walk right now...

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Well, to be honest but harmful, AIDS would nicely explain all cognitive loss (HIV-related dementia) and general health weirdness (what does HIV *not* cause?) - but, thinking this way, it would also explain my general health suckiness, and my HIV test came back negative. OK, maybe the test was faulty or didn't recognize new HIV variants ;) (my risk factors are tiny tiny anyway - only one monogamous relationship at all, with a HIV-negative person, no drugs, no transfusions etc). No, HIV isn't a good excuse.

As for tumors - sucks, but at least you have proper doctors and tests to actually diagnose it. I may be as much of a moron as you think your mother is, but I hope it's not cancer, as it's treatable but a bitch to have. Chemo and radiation therapy doesn't sound like much fun, and it affects cognitive stuff too. Not to mention things like chemotherapy-related candidiasis. It's not much different from having AIDS, except it's not transmittable.

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As for tumors - sucks, but at least you have proper doctors and tests to actually diagnose it. I may be as much of a moron as you think your mother is, but I hope it's not cancer, as it's treatable but a bitch to have. Chemo and radiation therapy doesn't sound like much fun, and it affects cognitive stuff too. Not to mention things like chemotherapy-related candidiasis. It's not much different from having AIDS, except it's not transmittable.

There's a difference between being uninformed and being willfully ignorant and in denial. You were simply uninformed (as you previously didn't know what my symptoms were).

My parents... yeah. "Idiot" is a big step up from "evil", so I think I'm going in the right direction. ;)

And yes, I am not looking forward to any kind of treatment for this condition, be it AIDS, cancer, or anything else. Pretty much any tumor/blood issue treatment (save for surgery) is going to dork with your mind, and mine's halfway gone already. Eh well.

Maybe I'll become mindless enough to become happy again...

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Maybe I'll become mindless enough to become happy again...

By going into denial?

Sure, why not? ;)

Actually I meant more the de-potentiation of long-term memory. "Long-term potentiation" is very much implicated in "learned helplessness", a rather useful model of depression.

At least one case study is my older cousin of the two, who's now 21. At the age of 8 (in 1993), she was involved in an automobile accident, which 1) caused her brain to bang against her skull through the meninges, and 2) caused her psychological shock, although she had little visible physical damage.

The result of this is that she suffered permanent amnesia of long-term anecdotal memory, i.e., she cannot remember any narratives of events that happened before the accident. She also suffered a loss of procedural memory, which she regained within a month (quickly enough to return to school after that period).

Before the accident, she was a lot like me... melancholic... (I suppose that's one reason we were best friends in childhood). Always angry and depressed. Since the accident, she's turned into a bit of a "valley girl". Not only did she get retrograde amnesia from the accident, she also got anterograde, i.e., she can't remember narratives and events that happened beyond about 6 months ago.

She does not remember attending my HS graduation in 2000, nor does she remember my family and I visiting that same Christmas. I have to remind her of these things if I make a reference to them.

Having graduated college in May 2005, she doesn't remember any of it, either. She remembers most

of her academic learning (the stuff she really made an effort to remember), but not much else.

Again, she's been happy-go-lucky since 1993. Anything bad that happens to her, she quickly forgets and moves on.

Wish I (biologically) could be like that.

Of course, I was mostly joking when I said dementia (HIV-related or otherwise) could cause that.

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Actually I meant more the de-potentiation of long-term memory.

Isn't that LTD? (long-term depression)

Or you mean total loss of the ability to perform long-term potentiation? (like when you give someone an NMDA blocker and voltage-dependent calcium channel blocker, simultaneously, thus blocking both types of LTP)

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Actually I meant more the de-potentiation of long-term memory.

Isn't that LTD? (long-term depression)

Or you mean total loss of the ability to perform long-term potentiation? (like when you give someone an NMDA blocker and voltage-dependent calcium channel blocker, simultaneously, thus blocking both types of LTP)

Yep, I did mean LTD, but I didn't want to use another term with "depression" in it, in case people get confused.

For the longest time I thought that LTD was referring to a long-standing psychological disorder and not de-potentiation of neuronal memory. ;)

I'm sure there is a way to completely prevent LTP, but then, as you suggested, that would require irreversible NMDA blockade and potentially Ca++ blockade.

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By the way, did you come across that paper that pointed out that aging causes a shift from predominant NMDA-based LTP to predominant VDCC (voltage dependent calcium channel)-based LTP? I don't know if it was the (unconscious) motivation of my previous doctor giving me cinnarizin (calcium channel inhibitor) to improve memory - as if blocking VDCC's would switch me back t1o NMDA-based LTP (no, I'm not old, just had quite long partial SE in temporal lobe and it wrecked my memory).

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By the way, did you come across that paper that pointed out that aging causes a shift from predominant NMDA-based LTP to predominant VDCC (voltage dependent calcium channel)-based LTP? I don't know if it was the (unconscious) motivation of my previous doctor giving me cinnarizin (calcium channel inhibitor) to improve memory - as if blocking VDCC's would switch me back t1o NMDA-based LTP (no, I'm not old, just had quite long partial SE in temporal lobe and it wrecked my memory).

I probably should read that thing.

I'll look for a link/citation, but if you find it first, please post it... thanks in advance!

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I'll look for a link/citation, but if you find it first, please post it... thanks in advance!
It's pubmed # 9425202 - conclusion:

These results suggest that aging causes a shift in synaptic plasticity from NMDAR-dependent mechanisms to VDCC-dependent mechanisms. The data are consistent with previous findings of increased L-type calcium current and decreased NMDAR number in aged CA1 cells and may help explain age-related deficits in learning and memory.
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These results suggest that aging causes a shift in synaptic plasticity from NMDAR-dependent mechanisms to VDCC-dependent mechanisms. The data are consistent with previous findings of increased L-type calcium current and decreased NMDAR number in aged CA1 cells and may help explain age-related deficits in learning and memory.

That's pretty interesting...

Also interesting is that a hot new drug for Alzheimer's is memantine (aka Namenda), which is an NMDAR antagonist.

In theory, I suppose that NMDA antagonists could prevent LTD by decreasing synaptic plasticity? In other words, synapses won't spontaneously degrade due to NMDA toxicity?

In any event, since it's considered that NMDAR isn't as involved in LTP the older you get, perhaps blocking the NMDAR provides much-needed neuroprotection in general without sacrificing memory performance.

As you can see, this is why I'm a molecular neuroscience researcher and not a cellular neuroscience one. Get me too far past the receptor, its ligand(s)/things that stick to it, and molecules it activates further down... and I get very confused.

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Also interesting is that a hot new drug for Alzheimer's is memantine (aka Namenda), which is an NMDAR antagonist.

I wonder how much does memantine differ from the infamous DXM. Both are rather weak? (low affinity means weak binding, right?) NMDA antagonists, both diminish opiate withdrawal, both work for diabetic neuropathy (although DXM works better), both disrupt prepulse inhibition.

The only detailed thing about why memantine is not just another clone of DXM without opioid receptor affinity I've found is this:

Memantine (Ebixa, Axura, Namenda, Akatinol) is a moderate-affinity, uncompetitive, voltage-dependent, NMDA-receptor antagonist with fast on/off kinetics that inhibits excessive calcium influx induced by chronic overstimulation of the NMDA receptor.

Does it mean that it's a receptor blocker that only works if receptor is overstimulated, which means less side effects in normal situations?

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  • 4 years later...

what is DXM? all i know is namenda is hella expensive. so more like maybe it's a good drug that works really well, like that other alzheimer's drug which is also hella expensive-Aricept.

amantadine on the other hand is cheap as sh*t. and supposedly works the same as namenda

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