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Everyone Sucks


velveteen

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So I don't post here a whole lot. I know if I did I'd probably get more responses to my posts, or at least people would get to know me a bit. I also know that no one is trying to ignore me personally. It just SUCKS that this is the only place where people COULD understand me and I still don't really get help.

I'm just really f***ing angry and the whole world right now.

I know this is totally vague and I'm sorry if I upset anyone with this, I just think that EVERYONE sucks right now. Especially the girl who is working across for me whom I'm going to fantasize about killing soon.

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i agree. everyone does suck.

ok, maybe not every single soul, but maybe 99 percent of people just plain fucking suck.

my pdoc, after me bitching about how i have a hard time relating to people and how i hate people and etc., said something along the lines of that of course i have a hard time with people, most people are selfish and etc. of course he said it more eloquently and with more psychobabble. i know this seems like a possibly unhealthy thing for a doctor to say, but it's helped me to not care so deeply about being unable to relate to a lot of people. (i care too much, it's good for me to not care about every single living person's opinion and interactions with me. so, put my pdoc saying that in that context.) anyway, now i try to save my caring and energy for that 1 percent of people who don't suck and are worth it.

tell me more about this evil girl across from you. perhaps i can join you in fantasy murder.

penny (who is hoping you post more)

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I wish I could just be with the 1 percent who don't suck, which is pretty much my boyfriend and that's it. But I have to pretend that I'm normal and function and go to work and pay bills (not that that happens on a regular basis since my salary sucks as well) and do all the things adults do.

Well I posted about her in another thread - but she's just completely antisocial, doesn't speak at all to me (we are only 4 in an office, and sometimes it is just the two of us). Everything about her bugs me, probably because I don't like her, because she won't even LET me like her. Honestly it's just easy to put my collective anger into hating her but it makes my day at work really crappy sometimes.

I'm just rambling - I'm all over the place lately.

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Hey Velveteen!

Long time no see, or if you've been around, I've been out trying to catch the marbles that keep rolling out of my head, making it difficult not to SUCK as a friend, mother or human in general. I think that is the reason a LOT of crazyboard people suck, when they suck, if they suck.

However, there is a faction here, as in real life, that just plain fucking suck. No matter where there marbles are. The faction varies according to the user, so it's like 'pick your own faction'.

I like what VE says (mostly never) but in this instance, "I don't hate just you, I hate everybody equally,"

He, is what we call an EOH, Equal Opportunity HATER.

Yes, this is all tongue in cheek, though VE does say that, and, well...it's hard to argue with the sentiment.

Like Penny, I try to keep finally tuning my bullshit detector to weed out the 99 percent who just want to either dump their pile of stinking garbage on MY DOOR, or suck my life force out of me because they don't have the backbone to do the hard work to cultivate a life force/backbone they can call their own.

I've gotten the process down pretty well. I know Penny is in a tight spot, I would argue that the percentage of people who don't suck world wide [including CB, which is--after all--a microscosm (sp?)] is closer to something like 2.734555, but, hey, who am I to split hairs!

My tdoc also agrees, like Penny's pdoc, with my deduction that PEOPLE SUCK. For the reasons mentioned, primarily, above.

I remember you big into music (am I remembering right)

Here's a few verses for you today from Soundgarden's "My Wave":

"Cry, if you want to cry

If it helps you see

If it clears your eyes

Hate, if you want to hate

If it keeps you safe

If it makes you brave

Take, if you want a slice

If you want a piece

If it feels alright

Dont come over here

And piss on my gate

Save it just keep it

Off my wave"

Soundgarden verses come with steel tipped doc martens for kicking stupid motherfuckers off your wave. Ask once nicely, then just boot them into the briny depths to davy jones and let him deal with them.

yes, I be hatin' too today.

Love,

S9

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OK. Not everyone sucks. I don't know. Maybe I just suck and I really hate myself for that. I'm just like my mother. Look at ME! I'm hurting! I need help! Listen to MEEEEE! Ugh. that's the last thing I wanted.

It just seems... just like in my "real" life... it's hard to break into a circle... it's hard to make friends... it's hard to relate to people. Sometimes I feel good here, sometimes I feel like no one cares. I need to just remember that other people are having a hard time with life too. So, I'm sorry if I offended or hurt anyone.

S9, that is a great song. I must breakout the Soundgarden CD's when I get home (Chris Cornell - hubbahubba).

I'm sorry guys, I'm just one big fuck-up lately.

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OK. Not everyone sucks. I don't know. Maybe I just suck and I really hate myself for that. I'm just like my mother. Look at ME! I'm hurting! I need help! Listen to MEEEEE! Ugh. that's the last thing I wanted.

there's nothing wrong with asking for help.

asking for help is really hard. we're here to help, and respond to calls of "I'm hurting!"

i've never met your mother, but being in pain and asking for help, i personally don't find that obnoxious.

(though i 100% understand not wanting to be like your mother. but you can ask for help and not be a drama queen, her sins are her own, don't let her issues block you from reaching out. pretty please?)

hurting sucks. a lot.

feeling blocked out from the world sucks.

not having people acknowledge your pain and realize how much you hurt makes the hurting so much worse sometimes.

i'm not very eloquent right now, but it's okay to be honest here. there won't be a smack down because you say you feel isolated here and in real life. that's how you feel. what kind of asshole would i be to tell you that you don't have a right to your emotions?

and i still think it's people that suck, not you. (and no semantic arguments about how you are a person here, i'm not up for it today.)

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PC - the crack about my mother was more based on her narcissistic personality, and part of the reason I am suffering today. Only part mind you, I can't blame my parents for everything.

I just had a knock down drag out (if you can do that via email) with my mother about how selfish she is and that she never listens. That's what I meant - I feel selfish to say "I need help". The event was a couple of weeks ago, it's better now, but I'm still very angry, uptight, anxious, irritated...

it's not just her. it's just everything. I'm just TIRED. I just want to be NORMAL.

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PC - the crack about my mother was more based on her narcissistic personality, and part of the reason I am suffering today. Only part mind you, I can't blame my parents for everything.

oh boy, we can form a narcissitic mom club. only i dont' talk to my mother anymore so maybe i'm not allowed to join.

it's not just her. it's just everything. I'm just TIRED. I just want to be NORMAL.

aww, come on. have you met normal people? ;)

i'm tired too. physically and emotionally. the world is exausting, isn't it?

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a couple of weeks ago i was ready to tell my mother I was finished with her. But then I got soft again and decided to give her another chance. I'm sure it won't last long. If you know what it feels like to have a mother like that, then i'm sure you are in the club. At the same time, I'm sorry you are in the club too.

Actually I've never met anyone normal :) unless they are the ones I call "boring" LOL.

Yes the world is exhausting. I don't know how to feel better ;)

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Velvet,

Jeez, or as Millie would say Jee-iminy!, you really ARE having a bad day. Is it Monday in the Netherlands? Wait, it's Tuesday here. I get so confused, been following Lily, the Tokyo Ho, around and well...nevermind.

One thought I had that is totally irrelevant, maybe, are you PMS'ing? by chance? I can't tell the difference anymore. Constant Menstrual Syndrome is what I call it, but I'm a bit, okay, way, longer in the tooth than you and in fact am having a hysterical-ectomy next month. Woot!

On the topic of mothers'. ACK! Mine is a martyr, which to me is simply yet another form of narcissicm (sp). She ignores me and berates me for not asking for the love I need. Meh.

Whatever. Olga is my Mom now.

Yeah, Chris Cornell, a good roll with him today would fix you right up, I'd reckon. Let me see if I still have his number... ;)

I agree with Penny, vent your SPLEEN and if anyone picks on you, we shall lay the smack down most righteously. Well, I will. But Penny could probably get aroused to the level of a brawl with her current state of mind. And of course DEE is always up for a good ass whuppin'!

I went out and ran errands, I managed to do it without encountering any actual people. Automated functions and PO boxs are life savers. Now, if I can just get oil for my car without having to talk to anyone. Though the lads in auto parts stores are usually fun to hang out with. Good music, not too bright, usually good tatoos...***S9 is toddling off to AutoZone....***

Hang in there, just club that woman next to you *accidentally* with your bag when you go home or to lunch or wherever.

S9

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