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hiya-

i used to have a totally normal sex drive, even on meds. i'm 28 and i'd want to have sex maybe 2-3 times a week, sometimes more. lately i don't want to have sex at all.

i feel like it is a total chore. i'd rather wash dishes than have sex. it is like a punishment, something i have to get over with. it isn't that i WANT to feel this way- i want to want my boyfriend, but i just don't and can't. i still do have sex with him, because he'd feel terrible if i didn't and probably wouldn't understand, but i'm suffering for it every time we do it.

i don't know if it is my meds that are bothering me in the sex area or my feelings towards him, or maybe both. i take wellbutrin, lamictal, and risperdal, wtih some klonopin and rozerem thrown in when necessary. lately i've been upset with my boyfriend because he's overdramatic and said that my apartment building is "depressing" and he would get depressed if he came in my (nice) apartment, so he has never come into my place in the 4 years we've been seeing each other.

i'm getting so sick of it. i feel obligated to have sex when i don't want to, and i don't know if it is the meds or my feelings or both that make me dry and make it actually hurt when i try to have sex. no amount of lubricant makes it feel natural. sure, we can do it, but it isn't the same and it isn't right to me.

any comments or suggestions?

loon

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tom- that's how i feel about it too, but he expects it and i'd feel weird just suddenly not having sex with him. i know i should never feel obligated, but i do. i hate feeling this way. if i weren't busy talking about getting hooked up with low-income housing solutions with my tdoc we'd be discussing this. maybe i should put a hold on my apartment search to discuss this, because it does bother me that i can't be "normal".

i've been on this combo for awhile, but risperdal could have something to do with it. the stuff makes me lactate. never underestimate the power of hormones.

lonewolf- are you IDing me just because i was bitching in the other thread about how no one ever cards me and those people suck?! well, thank you for carding me. you don't suck.

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Sounds like feelings to me. Suggest you take your boyfriend to a performance of Lysistrata. Might also suggest, if you insist on activities, that you put the lube on your hand and use that. Might seem less of a burden.

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  • 1 year later...

Cymbalta killed my libido back in May, but that was after I lost my second pet this year, and I was like dead to the world for awhile... I'm off AD's now, but my libido is long gone, and all I can think is that I am so torn on whether my relationship is pointless, I mean I keep trying, I started counseling specifically because I want it to work, but I still don't look at him and want sex. I am lube queen, and trying to find a position where it doesn't hurt is taking its toll. In the past 6 months I have had 2 times where I was physically responsive to it. There were some periods (during med transitions) where I wanted to bang almost anyone who walked by, even my dreams were full of hot sex with the singer of Rammstein, ha, but that faded away when I started working and going to school and now all I want to do is go to the gym and take a shower and relax after work. And I can't because I have homework and a "boyfriend" ("" because we are so off and on) who gets offended that I don't want to hang out with him at his place- almost an hour from my house. Sorry that I can't relax when I have to drive home later.

And then if I, god forbid, don't want to do it, then he gets so offended, and starts talking about how I'm not into him, that he can't handle the rejection, this this and that. Whatever. He's mad at me now because I was crashing yesterday from ritalin, and when he was in the shower I took an adderall from the bottle I GOT HIM because he needs it to study all of a sudden. He acts like it's his lifeline, I sure as shit wasn't going to ask because he'd say no, this has to last 2 years or some shit. He counted them today and is now calling me a thief over and over and I am like you know, it would be better if you were DEAD. So yeah while it's easier to blame things on meds, because they definitely do affect things, I am a big believer in the horrible power of outside factors screwing with your subconscious. As soon as I get naked I start feeling fidgety inside and have a tendency to just lock myself in the bathroom after yelling for no reason.

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