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No sense of time


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I only know what day of the week it is, not the date.

I don't know when I put fresh contacts in.

I don't know when my last period was.

I don't know when I dusted last.

I was surprised when my dad said that it is getting dark before eight now. What? Already? Where did the year go?

I am still wearing my summer clothes. (well, don't own fall ones)

Just anything. It does not imprint on my brain. The weeks are gone before I realize that I should have been doing something productive. And then a year or two go by and I haven't done shit.

ughh...whatever. annoys me. knowing this, i still am not motivated! ;)

everyone's moving forward and i am standing still.

ok, done now.

thanks for listening.

kathy

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I can totaly relate ... i miss hours and sometimes days of times .... it scares the hell outta me and and it takes tme to a scary place ... but its something i talk about with my shrink and my docs and my group its called disasociating ... its rather common and its something i dunno if you have a doc or not you should look into talkin about ... cause it can be addressed and talked over and ya can find out whats goin on with ya self before it gets worse and ya end up in trouble or worse

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maybe you're depressed? i know that for me, changes go unnoticed and time seems to slip away while i'm depressed and unmotivated.

you don't list your meds, but maybe you should talk to your pdoc about changing your meds. maybe you need more fortification on the anti-depression side of things. i know they're always hesistant to do that for bipolars, but with a mood stabilizer you should be fine.

best of luck

loon

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who knows! i have actually been depressed for most of my life.

my mom would ask what kind of job the guy on the phone just told me had and i would have no clue. for some reason i just don't retain shit.

the no sense of time thing has been since i was dx'd in 2003? see, i really have no way of saying what happened when. no dates.

i will look into disassociation.

can this have something to do with the fact that i can see myself in a mirror, but i can't picture what i look like inside my own head?

oh! meds are listed in sig!

thank you, thank you!

kathy

p.s. do you think this has something to do w/not being able to keep up with friendships? just curious.

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Sounds not too different than the problems I have with time. I recently had a bill that I thought was bout due, and it was two or three weeks late. I also have problems remembering chronology. And I've had problems with the friend thing too. With me it is (or was) dysthymia, depression, and ADD. Was just looking at this video:

http://www.massgeneral.org/madiresourcecen.../Fava/start.htm

The guy says there's actual damage to nerves from depression, which may cause memory problems. But he also says they see regrowth with antidepressant use.

BTW, I've heard this guy talk, and I think it was this particular lecture that I saw in person. Was the first day I took meds for my ADD, and I caught just about all of it.

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I lose track of hours days weeks months. Sometimes to the point of not being able to figure out the right year (2004, right? Right? Shit). It's annoying, it is problematic, and I have no idea what to tell you. I almost missed Christmas last year. It jumped out and said "boo" about two days earlier. Before that, it would slip my mind again within minutes of being reminded, if I noticed the reminder at all.

Yeah. Stuff.

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I lose track of hours days weeks months. Sometimes to the point of not being able to figure out the right year (2004, right? Right? Shit). It's annoying, it is problematic, and I have no idea what to tell you. I almost missed Christmas last year. It jumped out and said "boo" about two days earlier. Before that, it would slip my mind again within minutes of being reminded, if I noticed the reminder at all.

Yeah. Stuff.

I USUALLY get the fourth digit on the year right. But not the third. I used to get the first and second right... And I'm USUALLY not more than 20 years off.

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yeah, while people are mentioning it, maybe it is an ADD thing. like the others, i don't seem to exist in time. i don't have a watch, only a cell phone that reminds me when to take my meds (or i'd forget totally).

i don't know what day of the week it is, or what day of the month, and just last week i claimed we were in may (i got a very, very weird look for that). sometimes i also get the year wrong, like it is 2004 or 1996 (wishful thinking to turn back the clock on my almost-30 self!).

i am reminded to feed the cats because they cluster around me and demand food if i forget. i've sometimes stopped at the signature line of a form and actually paused to write my name. when that happens usually my handwriting for my name is even worse than usual, as if i'm trying to just write something because i may have actually forgotten how to right my signature.

and you've maybe noticed my spelling. i have horrible spelling. sometimes i'll use a different word/s to describe what i mean because i can't remember how to spell something. spell check and lists are my friends. i also love post-it notes.

damn. i have the stupid space heater in here set to 70 and it isn't that warm, and the thing keeps turning off. if it wasn't already a year old and if i had the box, i'd demand a refund. but i threw away the box. oh, actually, the thing is like 3 years old, i remember having it a few winters ago when i decided my radiator heated apartment was too cold. ah, memories!

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thank you loon for responding to my posts. i think you've responded to all of them! thank you for the help!

i am beginning to think i just need a new pdoc.

if i went above .50 risp, i would not be able to think or talk. same as with abilify, zprexa, seroquel. the geodon actually made my brain feel different, but eps. would love to try that again. do not even want to go old school.

as far as add, pdoc tested and said no. i did not look like it at the top of the paper, but i did at the bottom, so it is the bp only. whatever!

i try to respond to posts, but don't have the words. will definitely help when able!

guess i was doing pretty ok when i joined cbs because i thought i was getting there! just stalled. feeling dejected. tired of trying drugs.

thanks again!

kathy

ps. if i am experiencing mixed states, does that mean my disease has progressed?

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I've always been a bit spacey. But after meds, (lithium & lamictal) my memory went out the window. I forget names, days, pills, errands--you name it, I forget it. This is a serious problem for me because it diminishes my quality of work and life. I used to be stellar. Things were easy for me. Now, I have to write down all my projects to even know what the hell I'm doing at work.

talk to your pdoc.

good luck.

7

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Jesus, I live out of my day runner and a HUGE wall calendar. I am way too spacy and ADD and either hyped or depressed to keep up with all that shit. Especially when I am not working.

But I have always been this way--its just gotten worse. I blamed it on age, but I think my fucked up brain chemicals have much to do with it all.

Problem is, I usually don't CARE what day it is, or when I did what. Lists, lists, otherwise, no bills would get paid and we would be living on the beach. (Hmm---not a bad thought!)

what did you say your name was?

china (I think)

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i'd talk to your pdoc (and get a new one if this one has his head up his ass) about if your condition has worsened. my non-medical thought on the subject is that you may have had mixed states before, most of us have, but may not have recognized it. or it could be a new thing. i don't think it means you're getting worse. but i have no clue. that's a pdoc question.

i try to respond to most posts if i know anything at all about the subject being discussed. some people like the springer boards a lot and post there a lot. i don't go there too often and generally hang out here, where we discuss our conditions more. i'm also on SSD now so i have time to do this lol.

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I can completely relate. I used to be able to have an entire day planner in my head and didn't have to write things down. FOrget it now. I think it's due to the lamictal and zyprexa. Major zombie-ness. But at least I'm not rapid cycling. But thinking about events in the past and trying to recall even the most recent things is very difficult. It's very annoying, especially when talking to friends and loved ones. I can't remember anything.

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ive had issues with time since i can remember. im 40 now but when i was 19 i wrote this poem:

Time Consumed

For every wasted second a minute will pass you by

You can never get that minute back no matter how you try

Minutes will turn to an hour and hours will turn to a day

Time just seems to pass you by in a most casual way

Before you know it a week is gone and a month has drifted through

Now that month has become a year with not much exciting or new

Before more time gets up and leaves and circumstances do their part

Remember that wasted time can leave you with a broken heart

Time has gone by by thinking of this but is it such a crime

To let me know just where I stand and please don

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gettin' there - As well as the time problem, do you ever feel like you're not really there? I kept getting that feeling a couple of months ago. I kept having to check what was real and what was really happening, just in case I made some sort of mistake.

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sometimes i feel that way when someone is talking to me. it's as if i am inside my head looking out and nothing but blabber is coming out of their mouth. well, i guess its at least close to what you're talking about.

this may be closer. i have vivid dreams about people i know and they seem so real. a couple of days later i might ask my mom if this happened to so and so and she will say no. but, it was just a dream.

kathy

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This thread makes me feel so much better about myself.

I can't remember names of people who were just introduced to me seconds ago. I will put things down and not know it. Then I can't find it. People will ask me to do something for them at work and by the time I walk down the hall, I forget that I was doing something for them.

I can't find:

My Keys

My Wallet

My Check Card

My Check Book

My Jacket

My Hair Brush

My Cell Phone

My Lunch Box

My Mom's Wedding Ring (I am still internally FREAKED OUT about this one...the others I am used to)

My Ass with both hands

The list could go on and on.

It gets worse when I am off meds.

;)

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gah, I relate! I get confused about the seasons and the months all the damn time. Just the other day I was thinking it was May for cryin out loud. Of course, it doesn't help that our weather hardly ever changes at all.

I forget conversations, and still don't remember them when I am reminded, "Remember? We talked about this 3 times already!" I've told my pdoc about my memory problems a million times, and he wants me to go to some memory testing expert, but I don't have insurance, so that's out the window.

I do wish I knew waht was wrong with my brain.

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i only take my meds once a day and half the time i cant rmember if i took them or not. im afraid to take more yet dont wanna miss any...

so i had to buy one of those pills reminder boxes just for my once daily meds!

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holy crap can I relate thats why I have so much trouble paying bills-days and dates.Thank God there aren't debtors prisons (except for IRS deadbeats the thought makes me pool with sweat) Everything nutjob has said I second that motion.Add my earplugs and glasses to that.(glasses which are usually on the top of my head) or my contacts which I always feel like things never look right because I've put them both in the same eye.

the one very odd thing that I have as an ADD'er is a clock thing. No matter where I am or if I've no access to a clock I always know what time it is even down to the minute. I never wear the damn things because yep I lose them and they always have cheapo batteries that die quickly. and ha! good luck me actually getting to the store to have them replaced. I've had this since I was little. I'd be nagging mom that we had like 26 minutes to go or I'd be late for school. weird.

lilie

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Antipsychotics/AAPs/other dopamine blockers = AKATHISIA.

I like to call it Terminal Restlessness.

When I was on Zyprexa, time slowed down to the point I felt like I was spending weeks at work during just one workday. Needless to say, I couldn't keep track of time too well.

Otherwise, my now non-Zyprexa time goes in fits and starts --- I tend to not notice how fast I've passed the time, on the other hand --- how little time's passed, a mild akathisia.

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But after meds, (lithium & lamictal) my memory went out the window. I forget names, days, pills, errands--you name it, I forget it. This is a serious problem for me because it diminishes my quality of work and life. I used to be stellar. Things were easy for me. Now, I have to write down all my projects to even know what the hell I'm doing at work.

This is me exactly. I used to be razor sharp--about everything. Now since starting Zyprexa (and it's only been a few weeks!) I'm like a dull butterknife. I space out, can't concentrate, remember anything. I speak slowly and have trouble processing things. Yesterday I literally lost my car in the parking lot of a store; went in shopping and came out half hour later with NO idea where I parked. This kind of thing has NEVER happened to me before and it's kind of scary.

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anonymousguest--

well, I guess you know how ADD feels... X-D

but really, given that Zyprexa does the virtual opposite of what Ritalin and the other stims do (that is, blocks dopamine activity instead of increasing it!), I'm not surprised.

that said, I'm sensitive to dopamine blockers (APs/AAPs) and get akathisia very easily, though they don't tend to decrease my attention span...

...probably since it's impossible to have an attention span less than zerOOOH LOOK A SHINY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hehehehehhehehehhe

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I developed severe memory problems after beginning meds and haven't recovered. In fact, they've gotten worse. I had to buy a big calendar to put on the wall and write in what I am supposed to do on what day or else I have no clue. And if it weren't for Windows displaying the date in the corner of the desktop, I'd have no clue what month it was even.

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