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Screwing up the womanly duties...

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;) Okay, so if this sounds like a whine, it is.

I don't like doing laundry.

I'm in grad school and the shit just piles up. But I try to do it on a regular basis and do my live-in boyfriends as well.

WELL, I accidentally washed his Motorola Razor phone yesterday, because I did not check his pockets.

I'm used to female laundry, where the pockets are used for nothing...that is what a purse is for.

SO I feel awful. I feel like a total fuck up and it should not spiral out, because it was NOT my intention to fuck up his phone.....

which cingular tells me will cost $300 to replace...WHAT THE F@#$. No phone is worth that. Whatever.

I want to somehow fix the situation, but I just quit my job (due to too much stress) so fundage is low.....

any ideas?

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Sometimes if you totally let it dry out it may come back to life.

I washed my Samsung phone, let it dry out for several days (take the battery out) and it has been fine ever since.

I did get a digital camera wet, and that did NOT come back from the experience.

As far as checking the pockets...well...if he is stupid enough to throw his pants in the hamper with the phone still in it...well...his fault, not yours!

The rule in my house is you are responsible to empty your own pockets. This rule comes in VERY handy when my guys leave cash in their pockets...Bwaahh haa haa! Anything I find in the washer or dryer is MINE ;)

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Same thing happened to me( well, it was in the pouch of my favorite pink sweatshirt), except my phone was washed! My feeling is, my phone, my responsibility. My boyfriend was nice enough to do the laundry(we have 3 kids and both work full time,I usually do the laundry, he had a helpful moment) I should have remembered to take my shit out of the pouch. He felt really bad, but it was my fault not his. It is hard to pass off total water damage, but I got it replaced by saying that I used it in the rain (made up this whole calling for a ride story and called after a rain storm). It worked. Try it, what have you got to lose. But don't take the whole blame on yourself. Your stressed out enough, helping out shouldn't result in feeling shitty!!

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Womanly duties? Oh, puhleeez!!! There's nothing about male anatomy that keeps ME from doing my laundry. These days there's no wringer to catch anything in. If you do the laundry, I hope your boyfriend pitches in elsewhere. I'll admit I'm blowing off my laundry tonight, and that I don't like separatiing colors and whites, but I definitely do the laundry.

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when i'm living with a guy, which i'm not right now, i expect him to take equal share of the household chores. if it falls into my lap that i'm the laundry person, then it is the law of the land that you must empty your pockets before putting the clothes in the hamper, or at least must rummage through the hamper to rescue your items if you forgot.

i've gotten all kinds of money that way! someitmes just dollars, but sometimes $20! great! that pays me for doing the wash!

they know the rule tht if it breaks it is not my fault, and if i find it (money) i keep it.

don't feel bad about destroying his phone. as WZ said, sometimes they can come back to life if you let them dry out with the battery out. on the other hand, a friend of mine dropped his phone in the toilet and it hasn't been the same since (i don't know if i'd keep it anyway after that experience!).

it is his fault he left his phone in his pocket. as dee pointed out, half the time we couldn't find the pockets even if we looked for them. forget those weird pants!

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If the phone was that expensive, why wasn't it insured?

I know that you feel awful but this is one of those accidental things where either of you could've checked but didn't think to, I don't think either of you should be feeling like you failed your duties as a boyfriend/girlfriend.

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He says he was not mad...

but then he was like deflecting his irritation on to other things by being nit picky about other things.

It is hard for him to express his anger directly.


Thanks you guys for your responses.

I was being silly about it being my duty. I totally think it is NOT...BUT since he is paying more in rent I do feel obligated to put down my feminist ideals and help out more around the house.

If I dont do the work, it won't get done though.

One week I decided to quit doing the dishes. He didn't care. He did not do them either. But then we got a whole bunch of fruit flys so I broke down.

I think chores are like part of the universal power struggle between partners.

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