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I'm drowning


Croix

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I have had the worst few days. I'm overwhelmed and don't know what to do. Yesterday took the cake.

I woke up late, to dog poop everywhere...Got the boy off to school, and went to meet my friend to work out. After workout, I went to mom's house to clean for her. Left her house, went home to clean up more dog poop. (I've had to move the puppy from the kitchen because she climbs the baby gate now and gets out. She's in her kennel when I leave during the day now.) I cleaned out her cage and went in the backyard to take care of the big puppy.

Boy got home from school. I packed him some clothes and we went back to my mom's. We did the boy's homework, let him play outside a little, had supper, and helped him with his punishwork. (Adderall isn't at correct dosage yet). Then I had to cut Dad's hair because he has a court appearance today. We left at 8pm. I wanted to get home before dark. No luck.

Well, driving out of the subdivision, I almost hit this man who was walking in the middle of the road. Staggering is more like it. When I got to the front of the subdivision, I saw a car in the ditch. So, I pulled out, turned around and went back to the parents house to let them know what happened. By the time I pulled back in, a group of people were standing around the car. I slowed down, rolled down my window and asked a man on his cell phone "Hey, are you looking for the guy whose car that is?" He said "NO, what's your name?" He started walking to my car asking over and over "What's your name?" "What's your name?" I rolled up my window and hauled ass back to mom's. Freaky.

I told them what happened, Dad grabbed a gun, got in his car and said follow me, I'll lead you out of the subdivision. We drive to the front of the sub. (the mystery man is nowhere in sight now) and there are two police cars there. One of them leaves to search the neighborhood for the guy. We pulled into a driveway, Dad says "You did the right thing by coming back, the cops are hear now, it's probably just a drunk driver, you can go home now"

So, I leave. With the boy rambling the whole way home. "Mom I'm scared. Who was that guy? The man that walked up to the car was scary. Can I sleep with you tonight. I want Daddy" (who's working 6 10's out of town)

I get home to find the dog has shit all in her kennel and has rolled around in it. I have a headache by this time. But I have to bathe her immediately. She hates the bathtub, she fights and falls and cries and wiggles. I'm bending over the tub and my head is throbbing now. The puppy manages to break loose and jumps out the tub. I slip in all the water and hit my hip on the tub. I'm crying now. This sucks.

I manage to get her back in the tub and bathed. Dried off, and got the boy on the couch with a blanket. I then go on to clean up her kennel (again) sobbing the whole time.

Marine calls and I tell him I need help desperately. I'm sobbing into the phone. Can you please come home?? Please? I can't take anymore! I told him everything that happened. He says "I can come home tomorrow night, but what good would it do if I came home tonight and missed a half day of work tomorrow?"

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What good would it do? I was exhausted, stressed out, bad headache, dirty, and scared. But he wants to know what good it would do? I swear men are clueless sometimes. Or maybe it's just my husband. I told him I had to go. I got off the phone and had a half out pity party.

By the time I got the boy asleep, the poop cleaned up, and the dog put back in her kennel and fell into bed, it was 12:30pm.

6am came too soon. I woke up to more poop in the kennel. It's 9am and it's still there. I'm too exhausted to clean it. Marine called at 7am and was surprised that I was crying again and hollaring at him. He said I never answered his question last night as to what good it would do if he came home. I screamed at him "I NEEDED THE SUPPORT, I NEEDED A HUG, I NEEDED TO FEEL SAFE, I NEEDED SOME COMPASSION, I NEEDED YOU! THAT"S THE WHOLE REASON I CALLED AND BEGGED YOU TO COME HOME!!!"

He had the nerve to say "Well, that's all you had to say last night"

I hung up on him. I guess I answered the question wrong and failed the come home test. I was in a bad way last night and couldn't think straight. So he didn't come home. (He could have. His buddies at work take off for dentist appts, and busted water heaters at home, etc... Marine never takes off)

I have some errands to run today. I just want to crawl into bed and not come out for a week. But someone has to take care of everyone around here. I'm tired. I still havent' had a shower.

Sorry this was so long. I just needed to get it out. I could use some encouragement. Thanks for listening. I love you guys.

Croix

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I'm sorry, Croix, that sounds absolutely awful! Sounds like you handled it well, though. You did what needed doing, you got through it all without killing anyone (including the puppy, despite the temptation that HAD to be there). You should be proud of that.

Today will be better. Take some time for yourself tonight. Don't know what to say about Marine without generalizing about men and insensitivity (and we all know I'm trying to reform my sexist ways ;) )

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it sounds like you're the one rolling in the dog poop! well, besides getting it all over yourself while attempting to clean the dog...

that really sucks. i hope your next days are better.

i think hubby is kind of dense. he needs things spelled out for him better. some men are like that (also trying to reform my sexist ways towards men). ;)

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Thanks guys. Today has been better. I finally got a shower. I'm still very upset with Marine. Dense sounds like the right word to me. But I still don't get it at all.

Latin, I've been needing that spa day for about 4 yrs now.

AM, if I put this post above his headboard and he read it, it would just piss him off. He's so unemotional, it's scary. He just doesn't get it. I'd love to keep the boy at home, but he needs the socialization really bad. The dog may get sold before Marine comes home,lol. Oh, and it has been sunshine and unseasonably cool this week. I'm grateful for that.

Faith, I am proud of the fact that everyone made it through the day alive. I guess I can handle more than I thought, even though I fell apart. I just hate knowing that I can't count on anyone to help me.

Rabbit, I probably will look back on last night and laugh. I can usually laugh off a whole lot of stress, last night was just an extreme exception.

Update: The police caught the disoriented man behind someone's house. That's the only thing mom could tell me. We don't know why he was there. I assumed he was drunk/high and crashed his car in the ditch and just started wandering around.

Thank you all for your pity. I accept it in all forms. Really, your encouragement means alot. I know that even if I have an insensitive dense husband who won't help, my crazyfriends will be there to help pick me up. I love you all.

Croix

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Croix,

Oh, man, I sure feel for you. I remember those years when it was all mom all the time. No breaks. No time off for good behavior. I know some people will find this harsh, but, honey, get rid of the puppy. You have enough demands on you already. You don't need to be cleaning up shit on a daily basis. If you really want a dog, rescue a dog from the pound. All of my dogs have been rescue dogs - mutts, grown up, house trained, and they'll love you forever for saving them and giving them a home.

I'm glad today's a little better. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for.

Greeny

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Thanks guys. Today has been better. I finally got a shower. I'm still very upset with Marine. Dense sounds like the right word to me. But I still don't get it at all.

Thank you all for your pity. I accept it in all forms. Really, your encouragement means alot. I know that even if I have an insensitive dense husband who won't help, my crazyfriends will be there to help pick me up. I love you all.

Oh, Croix, honey! We aren't pitying you! I for one am very proud of you for how well you handled everything. My puppy rolled in poop one day last week (someone let their dog roam and it shit in our back yard), luckily it was only on her head. I bathed her and you would have thought she was being tortured! Is your dog's poop normal turds? Or is it runny or smushy? It sure seems to poop a LOT! Dogs don't usually poop where they sleep, unless, perhaps the crate is too big. It sure is frustrating... Maybe some obedience classes would help. Or you could get some of those plastic backed puppy training pads for it to go on in the house. They are so easy to use and you just fold them up and toss them. No mess on the floor or anything! I have a couple around the house and my pup used them occasionally when we aren't reading her "I gotta pee" signals.

Men are dense when it comes to interpreting what we are saying even though we say what we mean. "You're being an asshole" MEANS that they're being assholes! Geesh! Marine so reminds me of my husband in that work most always comes first. I used to BEG him to not work every single rotten Saturday because the 3 kids were overwhelming me at the time. He's self employed and usually just worked on his little projects, nothing that HAD to be done that day. Drove me insane, and honestly, I think that has a lot to do with why we have grown so far apart. Now I'd love for him to be gone more than he is...

Jibber-jabbering kids.... I've had my share. No matter how loudly I turn the radio up, they just won't stop talking! Then I start bribing them.... Like, if they speak as little as possible, I'll give them a dollar. Depends on how stressed I am and how much they're talking, if it's really bad, they might be offered five bucks. ;) I hope that the boy gets the right dosage soon, it sure is hard...

Take care of yourself,

Love you,

D

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Oh Greeny, I don't think it's harsh at all. I'm thinking the puppy is probably too much right now too. Like I didn't have enough to do. But Marine knew I had been wanting one for years so he got her for me for my birthday this year. I think if I get rid of her, he'll be upset I "returned" his present.

NY, Really I do accept pity. I don't find it patronizing at all. Whatever helps!

The vet keeps telling me Scout won't poop in her kennel. Oh yeah, I've cleaned up poop 6 times in two days from her kennel. She's stubborn. And no the kennel isn't too big. My puppy's brain is just too small.

If she doesn't start improving in the next 2 weeks, I'm going to call a local animal behaviorist. I don't want to miss that window of potty training and have it be too late if I wait any longer.

Marine came home last night for me! He really just didn't get it the night before. He said when I talked to him on the previous day, "You asked if I could come home, you didn't say 'Come home' " Literal and nothing less. That's what most of our fights are about. Sematics, definitions, I didn't say something literal enough. Grrrrrrrrr! It's infuriating sometimes.

Thanks

Croix

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Oh, Croix, honey! We aren't pitying you! I for one am very proud of you for how well you handled everything.

Yeah! I'm late to the cheerleading squad, but sister D is on it! (and she's right too!) And Greeny too with "you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. I know this is true. For ALL of us.

And LG too, you need "Croix" time.

Hang in there woman. You kick ass.

Love,

S9

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