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"Sexually Assaulted" -> Insomnia


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Hi. Been a while since I've been on here...because I was recovering and practically in remission with my mood disorder (Mood Disorder NOS, suspected Bipolar NOS but not confirmed. Other diagnoses are ADD NOS, Panic Disorder (in remission) and GAD. Also dx'ed with Delayed sleep phase syndrome, which I've attempted to fix twice with hellish chronotherapy to no avail)

I put sexually assaulted in quotes because I don't know the legal name for what happened.

I'm not going to go into my whole history, because I could be typing for hours. The short story is that I was cycling very rapidly (Intially triggered by Paxil back in the day, then worsened by Strattera), until they put me on Zyprexa.

However, after six months, I was still getting very depressed (concomittant antidepressant's aren't really an option, long story there too) and cycling between "normal" and very depressed. Then toward the end of that six months, I started getting really paranoid. And then I hallucinated a couple of times, and was pulled off of the Zyprexa. Suddenly, on Adderall XR and Ativan, I was fine. Normal, not manic or hypomanic or depressed of any sort. This lasted until 2 weeks ago...

I was at a bar, on a date with a guy, and he slipped *something* in my drink. Doctors & the counselor think it was GHB. I got drunk after 1 mixed drink. It usually takes 10 or so to accomplish that. Anyway, dragged him back to my apartment in a cab the second I knew I was getting too drunk, all I remember is going into my bedroom, then vomiting for a while after that...for a long time. The next day, he tells me I practically raped *him*, which I don't get, considering I could barely walk when we got to my apartment. Apparently there was tons of sexual contact, but no penetration.

Either way, I was fine for the first few days, then I slept practically the whole next week, but now I can't sleep at all! Ativan's not working, no psychiatrist for at least another two weeks (I go to a clinic at a hospital, and my old psychiatrist, a resident, graduated a few days before this happened. I'm waiting for the new shrink to call) And I'm sort of cycling again. No real manias, just slight hypomania and some pretty serious depression. And the changes aren't sudden either, like they usually were.

Did the fact that I was assaulted mess me up? Was it the GHB? Help? Experience?

*sigh*

Thank you,

Ant.

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First answer that comes to mind: call a rape crisis center.  Explain that you were assaulted, not sure what happened, but that you're showing signs of stress, maybe even mild PTSD.  Say you were sleeping constantly but now are not sleeping, etc.  Ask to talk with a counselor.

Most RPC's are quite non-judgmental.  You don't have to show up with blood and bruises to have been assaulted.  And the earlier you talk with someone who actually understands the impact that sexual assault of any kind has on a woman, the more likely you'll be able to avoid psychological harm getting bad.

I was assaulted 15 years ago during a manic phase and never got counseling; I was in denial that it was a rape (and mine was).  Finally I got it out with my tdoc and it's been a real bitch.  I'd internalized the blame for what happened and it fucked up all my relationships with men--the few I had since then.  So I advise that if you think you have a problem, and are suffering any obvious effects, it's better to take it seriously.  Go ahead and talk about it with your shrink when you can, but there's no reason to wait until then.

Good luck, honey!

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If what happened to you was scary and unpleasant, and you feel like you didn't have control it was sexual assault.

Acute Stress Disorder doesn't necessary begin as soon as an attack happens.  Sometimes it takes a few days, to a few weeks or months for your mind and body to react to what happened.  Everyone is different, and thus reacts differently.

The National RAINN Crisis Hotline number is 800-656-4673, they should be able to help you locate a center in your area.

Not to put pressure on you, but at some point it may be beneficial for you to seek counseling in order for you to have aid in coping with this in a healthy way.  A Crisis Center can help you do this, most likely they will also have services to help you with contacting your doctor, and aiding you informing other support systems of your situation if you choose to do so.

Acute Stress Disorder for info on the condition, MAY BE TRIGGERING.

What you do is up to you, only you control your body, and your choices are your own.  No matter how you decide to proceed and to cope I, and I am certain many others here are available to support you.

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That is rape, or at least attempted rape, penetration or no. It sounds like a doctor saw you right away and can testify to the likelihood that GBH was used, and to your state afterwards.  ...Just drugging someone is assault and attempted rape, period the end.

Did you call the police?  You should really call the police, and a women's crisis counseling center. It's overwhelming but they can help you through the steps.  The sooner the better -- both for you to get some justice and more importantly to minimize the impact this has on you psychologically by beginning to treat your trauma as quickly as you can.

I'm very very sorry to hear that happened to you. It's no wonder you're experiencing insomnia.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Sexual assault is terribly traumatic.  I know that personally.  I remember being so overwhelmed by it.  When my dad said that this guy could go to jail for what he did, I was so shocked.  I felt so ashamed of myself.  I think it is important to seek help even though that can be so hard.  I think calling a hotline and speaking with someone about what happened and taking it from there is a good start.

Katie ;)

                           

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