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Kidnapping, Attempted Rape, Now Court


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hiya-

yesterday i got my summons to appear in court in my case against this predator who kidnapped me and attempted to rape me back in the early spring. now they get around to the case!

i was walking through the parking lots behind some store fronts by my apartment to save some time- it was cold- and my neighborhood is "safe". this guy drove up and asked for directions. he got out to talk to me and stupid me, i didn't think anything of it. next thing i knew, i was in a hold and had a knife to my stomach and was being pushed into his car.

i should add that i had trusted him because i met him at the library earlier. contrary to popular belief- and i can talk about this now- the scenerio didn't play out as nicely as i had recounted...

he made me ptu on my seatbelt and he locked the doors.

we drove to his apartment, where he made me go inside. he made me lie down on the couch and alternated between telling me about horrible things he's done in his life and trying to get my clothes off/rape me. i kept telling him that it was too soon, that i liked him but "needed to know him better first". he got to the point of well, knowing if i was on my period or not, and i was, so he stopped there at my crying and pleading (he is muslim and apparently women on their periods are taboo or something, i don't know).

eventually, i convinced him that my fictional roommate would be worried about me and he had to drop me off somewhere so i could walk home. he took me to a local drugstore, right by where he kidnapped me, and i stayed in the store/went into other stores and hid for awhile until i was certain the coast was clear, then i walked home briskly.

i wasn't going to report it, but my boyfriend dragged me into the police station to report it. i didn't want to go through the trauma of having to talk about it. i had to tell the detectives all about it. they were hard on me, but if this doesn't plea and we do go to trial, i know the defense will be hard on me too.

i don't want to remember this, i don't want to talk about it.

i know if i numb myself up with some klonopin that my testimony will look unemotional and unbelieveable. if i don't take any, i'll have a panic attack. that'll be believeable!

what should i do to get through this? any suggestions for the trial? i'm hoping he'll plea so i don't have to testify.

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Sucky Sucky Sucky!! God are you smart and lucky!!!!I,m sure that you know that your situation could have been much worse than it was and that your wits saved you!!! You made it through the hardest part and that was the event itself. He is counting on you not being there. He is counting on you not taking control again. Sweety, you were strong and smart throughout the toughest part, you can be strong and smart through the trial if it comes to that. Your boyfriend did the right thing by having you report it. The more of the shitty incident that you give away, the less YOU have to hold onto!! Believe me. If you don't stand up and say, "hey asshole, what you did to me and tried to do to me was wrong", you will regret it. No-one can stand up for you better than you can. Is it easy? NO!! I was savagly raped several years ago. Never reported it. He did it again,to someone else. I've spent years in therapy dealing with it and regreting that I didn't follow through. That my fear controlled me. I regret my decision now, and can't change it . Had I told, maybe nothing would have been different, but I would have known that I tried to stand up for myself. I tried. Sometimes that is all we can do. Will it suck? Yes, but in the end, you will stand back and be glad that you followed it through as far as it went, no regrets. Just my opinion. The court system sucks sweets. Have to day loon, I admire your strength, I think that you are soooo much stronger than you know!!

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the reason i went with my boyfriend at all was his arguement that this guy could do it to someone else, and at least he had to know that people will stand up for themselves.

without bruises and physical injuries, however, i'm not sure we can get a conviction.

but does it matter? we might get a plea. even if we don't get a conviction, he'll hopefully be too scared to try it on someone else.

i say that on klonopin, but i know that when the time comes i'll either be breaking down in a panic attack (no klonopin), or looking like a zombie (too much klonopin). maybe just a little so i can speak?

i've got 3 weeks to discuss it with my tdoc. this is going to suck.

i'm sorry about what happened to you and that it happened to someone else. i hope that asshole is behind bars! this happened to me when i was in high school (i was brutally raped), and we had physical evidense so he ended up spending time in jail. i hope he never does it again.

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It's good that you have time to prepare. Can I make a suggestion? start giving yourself some positive messages!!! You're right, it will not be a picnic, but tell yourself that you can do it, you already made it through the worst part, you are strong and good and he is a dick head! Build yourself up. See yourself strong and not faltering!!! Like a tree. It is amazing what positive thinking can do. It does not cure everything, but it can put you in a better place when the time comes to confront the shit if you need to. What happened to me was almost 20 years ago. Thats where alot of the PTSD came from. He didn't go to prison. I found out about a year ago that he died of an overdose while awaiting trial for rape and attempted murder. Only then did the nightmares stop. Maybe you won't get a conviction, but your boyfriend is right, do it to show the fucker that people stand up for themselves. If that is what your goal is, you won't be disappointed no matter what the outcome is. That way, the outcome is out of your hands, that is NOT your responsibility. The only responsibility that you have is to do your best, tell the truth to the best of your ability and try. I know that you can do this. Be strong little tree, be strong......

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thank you so much for your suggestions- i'll definately do them, especially the tree one- i never thought i'd say this about anyone, but i'm glad that fucker who raped you is gone. he deserved it (dying by his own doing). i never thought i'd say that about someone, but for such brutal acts, he had to have hopefully felt guilty and not been able to live with himself (or just didn't want to be Buba's bitch in prison lol).

even if this fucker doesn't go to jail, he'll still get the message. i'm still hoping he pleas so i don't have to take the stand.

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There ya go Loon!! Of course you don't want to confront him or it, but know that you can if you have to! It will be ok. Taske it a day at a time and know that you have fences around your growing tree. Be strong and find the sun. Shine.

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;) sum buddy hurted my friend

I know where you are. I was raped and battered as a teen (this was the '70's) and the judge said it was my fault for dressing in a provocative manner. It would be hoped that people and especially the justice system. would have evolved into something more enlightened by now, I hope that they settle on a plea so that you don't have to go through the whole court business... I was a kid, dressed in a swiss miss uniform from work. The guys that raped me were black and felt like it was their due...I am the least prejudice person you will ever meet, so in some sick way I forgave them and felt that they were just taking out racial frustration on me, and that I deserved it anyway. Don't forgive this jerk, not for an instant sweetheart. He is a bastard for doing this to you, and should never forget it.

Loon, you are a tuff girl, you can do this, I will be there in spirit. I believe in you

pm me and I will try to help. You can get through this. We are all here for you

P.S. I hope that this didn't sound like a whine fest. I'm thankful to what ever divinity in the universe that you were not physically raped though you were emotionally violated. The trauma is still terrible and not something that you needed. I hope that you are ok

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  • 2 weeks later...

*********UPDATE**********

today we went to court for our appearance, and we couldn't get in there because the docket was full. we have to go back tomorrow. hopefully he'll plea and we won't have to go through this mess- it is disgusting.

the prosecutor just called me and said that they're looking at a plea just containing the GSI (gross sexual imposition) counts, which could land him in the slammer for so many months (don't remember, think it was 16 but i'm probably wrong), or 3-5 years PROBATION. YIKES!!! this assole/creep/predator should not be on the streets!!!

i'm wondering, and i asked on the prosecutor's voice mail, if the judge/jury (whoever is doing the sentancing, i'm not familiar with the legal system at all) would be informed of all of his actions when doing the sentancing, to make sure he gets the maximum time. my other question, for when he calls me back, is if i have a chance to get up in front of everyone and say what i want to say before the sentancing.

i'd say that this person damaged me far more than i can articulate, far more than even i know. this person made me fearful not just for my own life at the time, and i was very, very lucky to have survived physically unharmed, but also fearful to live in my apartment and even walk to the store. i'd say 'please put him away for the longst time allowed by law'.

i needed psychological help (and still do, my tdoc and i talk about it) after the incident. i should have gone to the hospital ER for a rape kit and to go to the mental hospital to at least get some intensive treatment there, but i clammed up for days afterwards. i was just in shock, and unable to articulate it, and afraid no one would believe me.

i think they're trying to plea to such low charges because our case isn't as solid as it could/should/would be, had i done what i was *supposed* to do. instead i flipped out over it in the opposite way, and clammed up. i guess you never know how you're going to deal with trauma when it happens. i lost about a half an hour's worth of time when i found my dad dead on the floor- and did what i had to do with 911 and EMS and his final preparations, but i was in shock through it all.

maybe i need to be more outgoing in my skills when it comes to dealing with trauma. trauma seems to find me, i'm like a magnet for it for some unknown reason. PTSD never quits...

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  • 3 weeks later...

Now the prosecutor has called me and said we're going to get a new trial date, and the county judge supeonied my mental health records, so all my medical history from the center i go to is now in his hands. i'm not too pleased about this lack of privacy. why should my bipolar disorder have anything to do with what happened to me? what, was i psychotic and therefore made up what i recall and can testify to? are they nuts?

i guess to the average person, bipolar disorder may be the same as being a smurf- you're just outright weird.

it is up to the judge to decide if the defense gets to use any of the material in my records, and if they're admissable or not. talk about a violation of privacy- the whole room would hear! this is my medical record we're talking about here!

i can't believe our laws allow this to happen. i don't know who i have to hate for this, but someone's going to get some hate. my congressman has an office about 2 blocks from my apartment and i think he's going to get at least some mail, if not a visit, from me one of these days, and very soon. this isn't right.

yet another injustice.

this is why i didn't want to come forward in the first place. (ex) boyfriend #1 made me do it, and i went with it to protect other women in the future. that's why i'm letting them tear apart my character.

loon

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thank you, WD. you're right- they must be desperate if they want my mental health records. Oh, she had a lamictal increase! Oh, traded zyprexa for risperdal! fascinating stuff! the stuff mystery novels are made of...well, bad ones...lol ;)

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