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Sometimes, insomnia can be a lonely place...


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Well, I'm new here, so I suppose introductions are in order.

I'll start with the basics. I'm an 18 year old male living near Detroit, Michigan. I just graduated highschool a little less than a month ago, and like so many middle-class suburbanites, I'm college bound. I consider myself pretty artistic--I play guitar, paint, write poetry, fiction, sometimes non-fiction (back in highschool, heh, I was an editor for the school newspaper. Yes...I'm aware of how dorky that sounds, but I got to do some very interesting things. One of my earliest stories this year was actually an investigation into the relationship between SSRIs and teens--I only got to skim the surface but found the experience rewarding none the less.)

As for my particular craziness...well...I'm not sure. I've been diagnosed as clinically depressed, but, in recent months I've begun to question that diagnosis. Right around the time that my 10mg dose of Lexapro pooped out on me. Course, the Lexapro had made me what I can only describe as euphorically manic. And all the projects I took on in that state of boundless energy, I unfortunetly had to finish while crippling depressed and suffering from panic attacks. This, and some conversations I've had recently are leading me to believe that I may be, at least mildly bipolar.

Oh yeah, this whole being up at 4:30 in the morning writing this post leads me that way too. Of course, I recently took a job in a pub, where I was until about 1, so I suppose the insomnia helps.

Finding a therapist would be rather pointless right now, considering that I move halfway across the state in two months or so. I had one before but, lets just say she was rather shady. Or incompetant. Or both. I'd give that rant but I'm alright writing a novel here.

Anyways, that's the short version of my spiel. Maybe I'll put the longer one. Sometime when I've got more of an attention span.

Hello everybody!

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0rangemonk:

Welcome!

Well the good thing about Crazy Meds is that you can take us with you!

I'm far from an expert (especially on bipolar disorder), but what you're describing definitely sounds like BPD. Who precribed the Lexapro? Have you seen him/her since? SSRIs causing mania is generally considered to be a positive diagnosis for bipolar.

You mention you're in the Detroit area. I can recommend a fantastic pdoc if you're interested (PM me if you want a name/number). He doesn't take insurance (but will give you the paperwork to file your own claim, but if you've got an HMO, your SOL unfortunately). I tend to agree with you on the tdoc front - makes more sense to find one of those once you get settled in your new place.

I assume you've found the board for bipolar disorder. There's also one for mentally interesting students that might be worth checking out:

http://www.crazyboards.org/index.php?showforum=59

There's also a board from insomnia, but IMHO, I think that's more a symptom of your core issue.

Keep us posted!

~Sunshine

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The Lexapro was prescriped by my doctor, but he was not the one who made the diagnosis. That would be my former tdoc. A year or so ago I had a nervous breakdown of sorts and my Dad (no stranger to disorders himself) insisted I go into therapy. She then made the diagnosis, and before I stopped going, recommended medication.

Then I switched doctors (being 17, decided to not go to a pediatrician anymore ;) and he prescribed the Lexapro. He generally does check-up's every three months, to check on the meds. I've only started thinking about the bipolar possibility recently. I used to just think the meds were working extrememly well. I had no complaints. :)

Until they stopped and I had a major depressive episode. Tried to wean myself off of them, which only made the depression worse, then my doc recommended I try upping the dose to 20mg. Which was a good stop-gap measure, it stopped the episode, but I think I'm rapid cycling these days. One day I'm king of the world, the next, it takes a forklift to get me out of bed.

Thanks for the offer for the doc, but, I don't think my pdoc is the problem. He's just been working with the diagnosis handed down from my former therapist. And in some weird way, just knowing that I may be bipolar keeps me more aware of my own eb and flow, and more able to handle myself.

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Guest PinkToo2grrl

Welcome!

I hate that insomnia thing ... it is all too well known to me.    I was fine working nights, I think I just have a different circadian cycle, and it sounds like you may as well.  Hang in there till you move and get settled in with new docs.  I agree with Sunshine, sounds like there's a good chance you are BP and a different med may be more helpful.  Good luck and keep us posted! ;)

Pinky

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