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I am really sruggling with a new dx of DID nos and can't seem ti get the type of care I need. I have been seriously contemplating doing myself in if I can't get some relief. I have even began storing up my meds and thinking about taking them. I have enough stored that I could to do it tomorow and eveything would be ove with. How do others find the help they need fom someone who eally uinderstands. Especially when it seems that the specialist in DID charge so much and I can't afford 1000.00 a month for therapy. I feel like something has to change soon, maybe even by tomorow, at least some hope of someone who can help me.

Amberkt

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I am really sruggling with a new dx of DID nos and can't seem ti get the type of care I need. I have been seriously contemplating doing myself in if I can't get some relief. I have even began storing up my meds and thinking about taking them. I have enough stored that I could to do it tomorow and eveything would be ove with. How do others find the help they need fom someone who eally uinderstands. Especially when it seems that the specialist in DID charge so much and I can't afford 1000.00 a month for therapy. I feel like something has to change soon, maybe even by tomorow, at least some hope of someone who can help me.

Amberkt

there are tdocs out there who work on a sliding scale. you don't have to have a specialist who works on dissociative disorders. you just need someone who is willing to listen to you and work with you.

my first tdoc was through my church and the church itself covered most of the sessions. i only had to pay twenty a week.

is there a decent hospital near you that you can check into while you're feeling this bad? or do you go to a church or any other social thingy that might be able to help you with healthcare costs?

abifae

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Things go in this order. First - The extra pills go in the garbage right now. That's it for them. Bye bye. Gone. Take them to whereever you are unable to recollect them. You can put them down the garbage chute, flush them down the toilet, not great but better than you picking them out of the garbage later on OR you can take them to a pharmacist for proper disposal. Only take them to a pharmacist if you know you will do that right away as soon as possible otherwise flush them down the toilet right now. You can feel like life is not worth living. You can express that you feel that way. Call a crisis line when in need. Making plans to suicide or carrying them out is not okay. If ever you are at the point of acting on thoughts of suicide GO to the emergency room or call 911 immediately. When you are thinking of suicide and/or are collecting pills tell your doctor. Or just hand the extras over to your doc. Your doctor(s) will trust you with meds if you are honest and up front. Next. Pick up a city phone book and call agencies, therapists, psychologists, and doctors offices, insurance company lists, women's groups, churches, wherever you can think of. Check on the internet, pick up flyers at the health food store. Whatever. Get a list of 100 therapists if you are in a big city. Maybe 50 if you live in a town, or 25 in nearby towns if you are in the country. Take this list and ask the price range of each person available. Write it down. Ask if there is a sliding scale. Take note. Find out the address. See if there is availability or a waiting list. Put yourself on the waiting list. If it does not work out, ask for a referal. Do not interview anyone yet or tell anyone your problems. Simply get your list of 100 numbers down to a list of names of people who do a sliding scale. Now your list will be a lot smaller. Now out of this small list decide which ones work out best regarding distance and price. Choose three to five places to call. Get the therapist on the phone and interview them. Say thankyou I will get back to you regarding needing your services. Next person. Try talking to three to five people to see who you feel most comfortable on the phone with. Call back and make an appointement with the one who feels comfortable. If none of those five feel comfortable go to the next three to five people on the list. Till the end of the list. If that does not work, you either have to get free help somewhere or see the more expensive people on the list and see them less often. You could get lucky and see someone more expensive who will then take you on at a less price after they get to know you. Do not be afraid to tell them what you can afford.

Try going on the net to see about how to interview a therapist. Know what things are important to you in a therapist. Male female, style of therapist, one who is active or quiet, training, religion, whatever......find out what it is that is important. If you can wait it out, it is better to see and meet a few in their office, i.e. one each week and then decide who it is you will work with. Give yourself time and don't let anyone rush you. You should be allowed to question and you should feel like you have been heard.

Anyway that is a how to manuel and I hope it helps. You need to make a commitment that you are not going to off yourself before any therapist can work with you or provide treatment. If you are not that stable then your best to go to a hospital. If you are not ready for therapy you can always go on as you are nothing wrong with that. Also is shopping for a therapist is too difficult you can simply go to whoever will see you for what you can afford and change the therapist later if it does not work out. You can take responsibility for getting the mental health care that you need. It is your choice to do something or not.

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Oh yeah,

By the way, Most of the times the pills don't work at killing ourselves. Not trying to get you to think of other methods just getting you to think about what you are thinking about. For every 1,000 - 10,000 who attempt suicide with pills only a few are successful. Nothing is fullproof and you can really do damage to your liver. Why live a worse life with liver and/or heart damage. I have been where you are. I knew what I would do to be successful, then I heard a story of somebody who did what I thought was an excellent plan. She lived and she had things well researched and well thought out. Guess what? Somebody found her in the middle of nowhere the next day. Now she's glad she is living. So what I'm trying to say is DON'T do it. It's not worth it.

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You don't need to die. I am a newbie to Multiple living too. It hurts, it is awful and frightening. But...it is not the end, in a strange way it is the beginning. Keep posting and if you are really feeling like doing yourself in you belong in the A&E/ emergency ward getting help. Likely you can get some community help, look under mental health in the phone book. But I suggest that you take yourself or have a mate/friend take you to the hospital. Most hospital have social workers that can help you find lowcost/free help or at lest psychiatrists or psychologists that work on a sliding price scale. Don't give up. There is hope and help available

Hugs

Panz

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I am in therapy. I like the guy but i don't think he understands the did stuff. I have had previous therapy for yeas, while it helped it taught me some coping skills and resolved many abuse issues but never addressed this stuff. My concern is that this guy will just help alleviate the symptoms and not deal with the core issues of fragmentation and it will keep coming up.

Amber

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;) i want to talk about suicide and how if effects the people you leave behind in your life.

my father was one of those people who successfully killed himself with pmeds. he had it well-planned, well thought-out, and knew just the right meds to get out of his pdoc that would cause death. he knew what he was doing. unfortunately for us all.

i cannot tell you, i cannot begin to describe the pain and agony of loss i felt when i found him dead and what i still feel. i had a moment of dissociation and then handled it under pressure, and am now on SSD i believe as one of the most direct results of it. it put me in the loony bin 4 times as i wanted to be with him so badly i wanted to do myself in.

what kept me here was the promise i made to myself and to my family, that i could never do that to anyone i love and care about. the torture, the pain of losing a loved one, especially to suicide, is too severe and too haunting for anyone to have to endure. there is self-blame, self-hate, anger, pain, and all that goes with it.

what i'm trying to say is that it would be the ultimate in selfish acts, and you would leave behind people who would grieve their entire lives. i promise you that.

do everything that everyone here has suggested. get rid of those meds. get into some therapy that will benefit you. learn to cope with your new DX. like anything in life, this kind of thing is a big shock. some people get suicidal over a bipolar DX or even a depression DX. any kind of mental illness in our society is looked down upon.

remember, there is only one you, and you are unique and irreplaceable. it is up to you to back off of those terrible plans and reclaim yourself and what is yours to live.

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