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How and when did it all start?


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Hello there, from someone who suspects to have bipolar disorder II. Not sure at all yet, I'm soon going to a doctor.

One thing I'd like to ask from you who have BP is when did this mood dance started to occur? Under what circumstances? Around what age?

Thanks!

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my parents are/were (dad is dead) both BP1, so they kinda suspected it in me when i showed full mania.

i was already considered to be MDD and GAD because of my suicidal notes and drawings, and the stuff i'd say and do. BTW- i was 7.

my first mania was a weird one, very jumpy and i couldn't sit still. talkitive, restless, jumpy, everywhere.

my parents too me to the pdoc and i was DXed. they never (or rarely) gave a DX to children back then (i'm now 28), however with both of my parents being BP1 and my behavior being so strange, the pdoc decided to do it.

there have been times in my life where i've felt fine, like even off meds when i couldn't afford them, only to either crash or escalate beyond belief. i know i can't do it, yet there is always the hope that now that i'm an adult that i'm somehow "cured". i'll never be "cured". it doesn't work that way. and as my symptoms get worse and my cycles are harder and closer together, i just hope that a better med will come along to ease all of this.

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Well My Mother was Bipolar and a Schitzo so i follow in her foot steps unfortantly ...!!! so we all have a foundation of were it all begins with us !..

--but remeber there is always hope and ya dont always have to be alone and ya can take meds and good therapy to help ya learn how to live with it !

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Have battled with and self medicated for, been hospitalized for, and in therapy for depression for at least 20 years. About 6 years ago, I got involved in a study for Gen. anxiety disorder--and found that much of my depressive symptoms, and other things, too, were really a BUNCH of anxiety. Took Gabitril with great success for about 14 months --until one day, suddenly, it quit working, and I found my slef in hysterics on the floor of the ladies room at work, on the phone to my pnurse and sobbing hysterically. Hmm--she said--not good. How about some Zoloft and Clonopin??

Eventually, I ended up seeing another pnurse who really knew her shit--listened to me, didn't ask me what I wanted to take this month (like the last pdoc did-what an idiot)--and said, "I do belieee theres a pattern here, and I do believe its BPII. Started me on a mood stabalizer with a couple of AD's, and the clonopin I was already taking for the anxiety--and that was it.

I realized, once I got stable, that I had actually been cycling multiple times a day, and continued to do that for a while, till we got all the kinks out of the meds.

So, I think really that the BP started as an "outgrowth" of the depression, about the time the realy bad anxiety started. Cause years ago, I never had any anxiety--just bone-crushing, dangerous, eat till you're sick, never get out of bed, break mirrors so you don't have to see how ugly you are depression. The kind where I stay in bed and the kids put up the C'mas tree one year. The kind of depression where if I had enough crank, and it only took a little, I wasn't speeding like everyone else--I was just normal.

I have read some studies that especially in women, there is a "kindling effect" where BP once it appears, gets progressivly worse--which is why your meds can poop out on you. The author of the study's theory was that if BP is progressive, the sooner you can start treating and preventing cycling, the better. In other words, prevention is the key, you don't put the fire out after its started, you try to keep it from starting.

This is another good reason to stay on your meds--or maybe if you need to change/stop, you do it gradually.

My dad battled with depression all his life, tho it was never discussed. My kids are MI--one is OCD, the other is ADD/BPII just like me--so the chain goes on.

china

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I have BP-II. Looking back on it, perhaps some of the symptoms were there as early as 16, but weren't really a problem. Those symptoms consisted of some occasional hypomanic symptoms (decreased need for sleep, expansive mood, irritability) and some rage issues which would result in putting my fist through walls, throwing and breaking things, and aggressiveness toward others. I also had at least two depressive episodes that I can remember.

Things started to get worse after I had my first child, and then after I had my second child my doctor started me on Zoloft for "post partum depression". That's when the real roller coaster to hell started.

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I got a BP2 diagnosis when, after months of fanatical hard work, I fell into an anxious depression that sent me to a psychiatrist's office insisting that I had adult-onset ADD. I was 34.

There were suspicious symptoms starting in my early 20s, including a major depression at 25, but I explained away all of the highs as academic/professional zeal, justifiable irritability, and general superiority. Oh well.

Good luck at the doctor's,

SG

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.25mg of Risperdal (I realize how small of a dose that is) made me hypomanic and cycle last February age 41. After seeing the cycling I could look back and see this happening in my life on such a gradual basis it wasn't really noticable. Two doctors didn't believe that small of a dose of that drug could make one hypomanic, so I never had a firm diagnosis of bipolar. See what my next doc says. I'm confident I'm bipolar for many reasons but I don't have a fancy degree.

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My symptoms probably started when I was about sixteen. Among the highlights of my diary back then are seriously becoming convinced that my dead grandmother was haunting me and trying to possess me and becoming convinced I would die on prom night (I sometimes become delusional when manic).

I was "officially diagnosed" about two years ago when being treated for depression I asked my tdoc for help because I had signed up for several online dating services and was flirting like mad with strangers and was going on spending sprees (I thought I was impulsive, little did I know).

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If what I've read is correct, I began showing signs of BP at a very young age. I had seizure-like temper tantrums as a toddler and had spurts where I slept very little. I remember in elementary school trying to be quiet staying up all night and going to school the next day with no problems. I remember having thought that I was on top of the world and I remember days where I wanted to just die. This was all at a young age, probably around 2nd grade. I was diagnosed ADHD and the ritalin zombified me. I would become hyper-focused on tasks such as washing the dishes or clipping my fingernails...making sure that every trace of water was dried off every dish and making sure that I got every last bit of fingernail clipped off.

I had my first major depressive episode at age 14. I cried constantly, I wanted to die...this lasted several months. My mom never thought to take me to the dr to be dx'd and treated. She was too preoccupied with raging and beating the shit out of me while popping xanax for her own undiagnosed bipolar disorder.

Now we're both diagnosed and properly medicated. I look back at all the misery I went through and wonder what it would have been like had I got proper treatment...

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