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I Finally Did It


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hiya-

the brief rundown of my love life is that i slimmed the number of boyfriends i had from 3 to 1. #1 is the one i was with for 4 1/2 years, and i kept him.

i don't know what it was, maybe it was my mom's voice finally penetrating my skull or my tdoc bringing me around with my own logic, but i discovered that he only wanted one thing, and the rest he didn't care about.

this was evident in that he never lifted a finger to help me when i got evicted a few years ago, never helped me buy food when i had no money and was going to hunger banks, and never even bothered to notice that i had other boyfriends. in short, he only wanted one thing.

i stayed because i had him and could do everything i wanted- live the life of a single woman in her 20s, and not worry about him caring. he was too absorbed in himself. he's never even been in my apartment, because my building on the outside is "depressing". get over it drama queen!

so i'm getting over him. i'm sensitive right now, and hyper-viligent that something like this could happen to me again (and very well could, as i'll get to in another thread...)

loon

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thank you- thank you!

now where's the party?

time to get this party started! i'm finally free!

i should have dumped him the first week i met him. isn't it odd, that we tolerate things for so long (or at least i do)?

onward, and hopefully upward, to a better partner who will love me and respect me

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Good work Loon. Now take advantage of the freedom and do things for YOU!!! Hold on, here comes my 2 cents... You have been dealing with a lot lately and no guy is going to change or fix that for you. You said before that you always go for relationships that you can't really have. Well, if you want a good one that you can have, now is the time to take a step back and look at the patterns. If you aren't involved with anyone, use the time to get into you ( have fun, safe sex and all that, but put some of your energy and nurturing into you instead of the yahoos that seem to get it) Only you can work on you. Now, you have no relationship distractions. Invest in you and have fun!!!

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I'm proud of you Woman!

This takes guts and is a hard process to work up to. And even though you know the relationship was not good for you, it is still hard to experience loss.

So keep talking about how you feel about this, and we will keep listening.

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i sent that letter yesterday and he'll probably get it today or tomorrow- i'm nervous that he'll call me or something. i'm not nervous that he'll want to get back together though, just talk about it maybe, but i'm not in the talking mood (with him)!

no strings, no obligations...

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Loon, that was really really really really a good move. And hard, too.

Congrats on sucking it up and taking care of yourself, you know? I'm not good at that, so it's pretty impressive to me when other people do it. Haha.

The next hard step (haha.... believe me, I've been there, so this isn't judgment at all) is to try and not rush into another crappy boyfriendish situation. You just did this huge awesome thing for yourself to honor your self worth.... so the next guy had better be worthy, right?

Eh... don't take his call if you don't want to. I mean... maybe eventually if he wants closure or whatever it would be good to talk to him for a little bit. But I don't think you have any obligation to talk to him right now.

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