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MEN...........tell me why


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I have amazing guy friends who I get along with. Laughing, great conversations..........but they always hope or want it to lead to more.

Why can't it just be Great Friends???????? So I am left with..........We can't just be friends. ;)

And in no way do I lead them on. or promise anything. Starts out with friends and the Kaboom!!!

They know I have a boyfriend.

It reminds me what what billy crystal said to Meg Ryan

WHEN HARRY MET SALLY

Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.

Sally Albright: Why not?

Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.

Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.

Harry Burns: No you don't.

Sally Albright: Yes I do.

Harry Burns: No you don't.

Sally Albright: Yes I do.

Harry Burns: You only think you do.

Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?

Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.

Sally Albright: They do not.

Harry Burns: Do too.

Sally Albright: They do not.

Harry Burns: Do too.

Sally Albright: How do you know?

Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.

Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?

Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.

Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?

Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.

Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.

Harry Burns: I guess not.

Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.

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I might be an oddball (other than being MI), but most of my close friends have been female and I have never wanted to "nail" them. Some of them were beautiful, but I was already in love with my wife and even more so with my first fiancee (long story).

Tommy

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I might be an oddball (other than being MI), but most of my close friends have been female and I have never wanted to "nail" them. Some of them were beautiful, but I was already in love with my wife and even more so with my first fiancee (long story).

Tommy

i'm female, and i want to nail all my closest friends, male or female. i can be "just friends" with them, and am with most of them, but i mostly prefer the "friends with benefits" sort of friends. my boyfriend feels the same way (although he doesn't want to nail ALL his male friends lol). it's why we work so well as a couple.

i don't know how to explain it. it takes a LOT of maturity to feel that way but be able to cope with being just friends and to just know that the sex isn't going to happen. but that doesn't stop me from ogling my best friend as the sexy woman she is!!

abifae

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Men tend to read more sexual interest into women's reactions than women read into them. Consequently, if you are displaying interest at a level comfortable for you, they will be reading interest at a level you're not interested in.

If you want men to respond at levels you're comfortable with, you have to downplay the signals you're sending. It doesn't alter men's behavior to just complain that they don't understand.

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I have this awesome friend named Matt and he is funny, sweet and handsome.

We get along sooooooo well. He knows about my boyfriend....... he knew the first day

But now he say's LG I can't be just your friend. I wish you would drop Gianfranco.

I was upset that he even brought this up. This is not the first guy to say this to me. I thought he was joking, he said, no he wasn't

I said I don't like to be pushed or pulled or told what to do or given a ultimatum

I told him he is free not to talk to me anymore if he wants. So now when we talk I feel have to hold back being me.

I feel sad because he is so sweet and even though he is handsome I don't want to nail him.

I love my boyfriend very much, my heart skips a beat when I see him. I love him.

but losing matt as a friend would hurt. I just don't understand

Men are odd

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I have had a close male friend for over 20 years. I think the reason we work so well as friends is because we have no physical attraction to each other at all. I am very tall...he is really short. He is a boob man. I have none. He likes skinny little chicks, I am a beefy amazon. I like tall muscular guys. He is scrawny.

Plus I am often seen as an "honorary guy" in our circle of friends...I like football, playing poker, camping, 4x4's and other "guy" stuff. This makes it very easy for me to remain on a friend level.

If I was skinny and had boobs...I doubt it would work.

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I have had a close male friend for over 20 years. I think the reason we work so well as friends is because we have no physical attraction to each other at all. I am very tall...he is really short. He is a boob man. I have none. He likes skinny little chicks, I am a beefy amazon. I like tall muscular guys. He is scrawny.

Plus I am often seen as an "honorary guy" in our circle of friends...I like football, playing poker, camping, 4x4's and other "guy" stuff. This makes it very easy for me to remain on a friend level.

If I was skinny and had boobs...I doubt it would work.

there's your problem latin girl. you're too sexy!! *grin*

maybe my lack of boobs helps me have male friends, then?? *giggles*

abifae

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for me, it is always me who develops the crush on them. it is usually because i find them so attractive as people that they become attractive to me in other ways as well. they could be butt-ugly, but i'd love them anyway, and it wouldn't matter if they had a scrawny body, beefy one, amazon one, boobs or no boobs, hair or no hair (well, no hair on women tends to be an issue, unless she has cancer), tall or short, whatever. i just see them as beautiful inside and out.

so i'm the culprit in the instance usually. and usually they'll go for it. men don't seem to be too picky. i'm feminine and i have boobs. that's all it takes i suppose. lol

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there's your problem latin girl. you're too sexy!! *grin*
Right as usual Abi. We just need to beat Latin Girl with the ugly stick for a few minutes....LOL

maybe my lack of boobs helps me have male friends, then?? *giggles*

No...that's not it. You have nice boobs (not that I wanted to see them...you flashed me remember?). But I think because you are crazy, they have a healthy fear of you that prevents them from making an unwelcomed move....

"Sure she's hot, but I not sure if she will kill me afterwards..."

LOLOLOLOLOL

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This is probably the BPD talking but I do have a tendency to be very attracted to female friends. Must be part of the primitive part of the brain, an instinct to mate and spread my seed. I know that sounds kinda far out.

See, initially, I can't be "just friends". After a time I get over that and we can just be friends. There is sometimes a residual sexual tension but it can be set aside.

For somebody like me, boundaries need to be set. after that, no problem.

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yes abi- that article was really good, especially at the end where the surveys come into play. women are much more set that a friendship is a friendship, whereas men see it as a springboard to a romance, and it is right there in the numbers.

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yes abi- that article was really good, especially at the end where the surveys come into play. women are much more set that a friendship is a friendship, whereas men see it as a springboard to a romance, and it is right there in the numbers.

i see friends as friends... but i still wanna get laid and see them all as possibilities for that need. but it isn't any sort of romance. i don't know how to explain it. in my head, sex has nothign to do with the relationship, although a good relationship can make the sex really special.

maybe i'm weird. or wired wrong lol.

abi

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no abi, i see my friends as multi-purpose too, though not all of them see me that way. i don't like taking advantage of innocents ;) , so i try to keep my hands (and other things) to myself. i'm usually the one trying to take advantage of them, or sometimes have an actual relationship.

i guess we're both statistical weirdos. looking at the numbers in the survey, we must be the oddest people in the world. :)

edited to add- i have my bodily needs too! i'm not a prude about that.

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